THE LIGHT, THE HEAT
THE LIGHT, THE HEAT
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Check out the new movie previews from your house before you hit the theaters.

In the mid-90s, you couldn’t throw a stone without hitting a disaster movie of some kind. Subsequently, the movie would explode in a giant, slow-motion fireball.

You have Rolland Emmerich to thank for that. The success of Independence Day in 1996 led to other big budget disaster movies like Twister, Dante’s Peak, and Armageddon. 15 years later (and Wolfgang Petersen’s remake of Poseidon aside) Rolland Emmerich seems to be the only guy left making disaster movies.

And now he’s back with 2012 where literally the ENTIRE PLANET is the cause of the wanton destruction of cities, landmarks and monuments.

I’ll admit being somewhat impressed by the visual of a tidal wave crashing over the top the Himalayas. But cool visuals do not a movie make. And, frankly, I’m a little worn out on disaster movies. In what way does is this destruction supposed to be entertaining? The world is pretty much in the crapper as it is. Will watching California break off from the continent and sink slowly into the sea make me feel any better about things?

Okay, maybe that will make me feel a little better. But you get what I’m saying.

What bothers me most is watching John Cusack waste his considerable talents pinching his butt cheeks together and reacting to nothing. I understand WHY Cusack is in a movie like this (Hollywood Elsewhere’s Jeffery Wells calls Cusack “the mother of all genius paycheck whores”), but it sucks to watch your heroes debase themselves.

Exhibit A: There was an extended scene from 2012 shown at Comic Con earlier in the year. Someone had the brilliant idea to take the scene and remove all of the special effects from it. The result is a bumper car ride with Cusack and his co-stars that reveal exactly how flashy CGI obscures ham-fisted acting. Enjoy.

Watching things like that, I have to remind myself that for every 2012 or Con Air he shows up in, it affords him the opportunity to do things like High Fidelity and War, Inc. (which, by the way, I just caught on IFC and thought was hilarious)

Cusack will appear in Hot Tub Time Machine next year, so I suppose we have THAT to look forward to…

With that jokey title in mind, I kind of wish Emmerich would go whole-hog with the absurdity of his films. Here’s a recut trailer made to make 2012 look like a 70s-era disaster film. I think I would much rather see this version:

All I can hope for is that people don’t take 2012 seriously – the movie OR the Mayan “prophecy” that’s been tainted by Western apocalypse fears. One, because I think it’s absurd. But two… because the day the world is supposed to end – December 21, 2012 – will be my 34 birthday. And it would be a real bummer to die in the apocalypse on your birthday.

So tell me, who here is interested in seeing 2012 this weekend? What’s the attraction for you? Mindless popcorn fun? How do you feel about disaster films in general? Leave your comments below!

Hey, guys. Just a quick update about the Kickstarter fund raising campaign for Theater Hopper: Year Three. I know you guys know what’s up, so I won’t belabor the point.

I just wanted to draw attention to the fact that, as of this writing, the campaign is now 28% funded with $979 in pledges. We’re so close to $1,000, I can taste it.

I strongly believe that the success of this campaign will be buoyed by the momentum we keep. So if you’re thinking about pledging at all, please do so now. The closer that status bar gets to being 100% filled, the more it will motivate others to help us reach that goal!

If you’ve been following the project updates on the Kickstarter page, you’ll know that I’m considering putting together some original art as part of a giveaway to get people to pledge. The idea is that since I’m starting to replace some of my DVDs with Blu-ray discs that I would make available the DVDs I no longer use and create some original art to go with them. Movies that I’m willing to let go of include A Bug’s Life, Monsters, Inc., Wall-E and Iron Man.

I think I’m going to go forward with this. So even though we’re on the precipice of $1,000, let’s make $1,500 the next goal. Everyone that pledges in advance of the $1,500 goal will be entered into a drawing to win a DVD copy of Monsters, Inc. with some original art on a sheet of 10 x 14 Bristol board from yours truly. Once I have the artwork finished, I’ll post some pictures.

SO LET’S GET PLEDGING!

21 Comments for “THE LIGHT, THE HEAT”

  1. demonfafa

    Tom, buddy, you need to get your movie chronology in check:
    ID4 = 1996 (I remember because I saw it right before I went to Israel for that summer and it was awesome to see the Jordanian & Israeli flags in the same airfield before the counter-attack)
    Speed = 1994
    Twister = 1996 (but released 2 months before ID4)

    So yes, we can blame Roland Emmerich for much, but not all of it.

  2. Edrondol

    I LOVE the last panel! Kudos!

  3. Tom

    My bad, demonfafa. You’re right.

    I must have been thinking “ID4″ = 2004, for some reason.

  4. Rich Kempter

    I’m going to avoid 2012. Cusack seems totally miscast for a disaster movie. He seems too nice. Like a teddy bear. He belongs in those sappy “chick flicks”. I can’t see him yelling “Look out” for 2 hours like Bill Paxton(?) did annoyingly so in Twister

    My birthday is Dec. 22 so that is almost as bad as yours Tom. If the world is ending.

  5. Lyssa

    Tom, that would suck, but if the world ever does end, SOMEONE (actually a bunch of someones) will suffer that indignity.

    I’m iffy on this film. I kind of love craptastic disaster films like ID4, Twister and (gulp) Armageddon, so this might be fun. On the other hand, there’s too much of quality in theaters this time of year for me to waste my time with this, no matter the caliber of actor in it. Hell, Chiwetel Ejiofor’s in it!!!! Not even my Joss actor love will get me to the theater. Going to see Pirate Radio instead.

  6. Lance J. M.

    I am so happy that someone else thinks about this film the same way as I do. I see it as another disaster film. Sure, “Armageddon” and “The Day After Tomorrow” were very good((maybe even great)) films. I kinda liked “Knowing”, as well. But, even so. Also, I think that John is a very good actor and I loved “Con Air”, “Martian Child”, and “The Runaway Jury”. BTW! Good strip today. Looking forward to Monday’s. Heck, I’m really looking forward to one about “Sherlock Holmes” next month.

  7. Tony D

    “And it would be a real bummer to die in the apocalypse on your birthday.”

    “Knowing” posited that the end of the world would be on my 33rd birthday, which was this past 10/19. Nothing happened. Kind of a let down, actually.

  8. Vychand

    This movie promises to be everything that is bad about hollywood. Therefore, I’ll probably end up seeing it. My wife loves disaster movies, which leaves me stuck watching the worst programming outside of intentionally bad films. Okay, the Mayan Calendar (cycle) ends in 2012, big deal. My regular calendar ends every 365 1/4 days and the world hasn’t blown up yet. According to Mayan belief the next 5,128 year cycle will start after this one ends.

  9. Lance J. M.

    Wow, Tony. I mean, having your death date be on the anniversary of your birth date would be kool, but wow. lol

    BTW! If the world ends on 12-21-2012, then my rents will have been married for one day less than 26 years when it happens.

  10. Edrondol

    You know, Tom, John Cusack would HATE this comic.

    http://www.mtv.com/videos/movies/454830/the-cult-of-say-anything.jhtml#id=1625961

  11. Tom

    That’s why I have the sense to publish it somewhere he would never see it – THE INTERNET!

  12. Andrew

    Tom have you seen “Grace is gone?” I think that one really shows the depth of Cusak’s acting skills.

  13. Relaxing Dragon

    I’ve got no real problem with this film. It’s a trashy popcorn film, yes, but it appears to be one that’s at least got the effects to keep you amazed for the whole running time. And really, going into a movie like this, that’s all you want.

    But given that I don’t like disaster movies, I’ll be giving it a pass. I did see Pirate Radio last night, which was quite funny, so I recommend that to people who don’t want to watch a movie about the planet rebelling against us.

  14. Brian Godsoe

    So Keyboard Cat is responsible for the apocalypse? Just as the Mayans predicted!

  15. Kyle

    “Who’s interested in seeing 2012?”…well, all I can tell you is that in my house, the only one who wants to see it is me 12 year old son. I would say Emmerich has hit his demographic with this one.

  16. Chris M. Cantrell

    Apparently the marking buzz from this goofy movie has caused enough of an uproar about the world ending that freakin’ NASA felt the need to address it.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/vp/33922441#33922441

  17. Link the Zora

    Wow, I’ll be 23 years old by then, just ending my first semester of my fourth year in college.

    I’d feel sorry for myself, saying that “I wouldn’t even be able to enjoy the rest of my life as an adult in a job!”

    But I don’t believe anything bad happening on 12/21/2012. It’ll be a regular day with just four days to go before X-Mas Day.

  18. Lisa

    That cat thing in the vid made me laugh so hard. that was so random haha. i just watched the film. worth watching in theaters, but it isn’t a dvd buy for me nor would i watch it all the time.

  19. Tom

    Chris,

    Aside from blowing craters in the moon, it’s not like NASA is doing anything productive anyway…

  20. BobbyB

    Tom, for my thoughts on this movie, read this brilliant editorial from Mark Harris at Entertainment Weekly. Please to enjoy:

    http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20311060,00.html

  21. Damien

    Ha, you’re exactly 9 days older than I am – I’ll die as a young 33-year old I suppose. We assume that the Mayans and Nostradamus are farting in the wind on this one after all, but if they’re not…well, at least the special effects will be pretty spectacular :)

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