Acceptable alternate punchlines would also include:

“Whad’da think?”

“I think that ain’t tobacco in that pipe you’re smoking.”

OR

“Whad’da think?”

“I think I’m gonna have nightmares trying to figure our where you stashed that hat this entire time.”

Thank you very much!

So here’s to another week of exploiting my nerdy obsessions. I even snuck in a little Lord of the Rings. Isn’t that nice?

So what’s next? Ah, yes. Harry Potter. I, along with the rest of the mindless drones plan on seeing The Chamber of Secrets tonight. Is it wrong to admit I like this franchise? I enjoyed about 80% of the last one. The remaining 20% sat there loathing director Christopher Columbus for unleashing the holy terror of the Home Alone movies and Bicentennial Man onto the world. What did we ever do to you, Chris?!

I never read any of the Harry Potter books before seeing the movie. But I thought the movie was good enough to make me want to start reading them. I think that’s a pretty good indication of quality.

Anyway, Harry Potter jokes here Monday. Do come back.

I ran into a spot of bad luck last night. On a tip from the crew over at Troy’s Bucket, I swung by my local Toys ‘R Us to purchase a copy of Episode II on DVD. Word on the street is that they were letting it go for a mere $9.99.

Yes, I know I’ve spoken about the sanctions on cool purchases, but this price probably wouldn’t have lasted much longer. But when you make your love ones purchase nerd artifacts as presents, they’ll be a lot less happy knowing they could have saved ten bucks two weeks earlier. I decided to save them the frustration.

Anyway, I bring the movie home tonight, unwrap it – then notice it’s the FULL SCREEN version. NOT wide screen like any cineophile with discerning taste would demand. No. It was crappy, pan-and-scan. I felt like a total chump. I’m usually more observant of these kinds of things. I guess I must have been blinded by the price tag. It just goes to show, kids. ALWAYS CHECK THE LABEL!

So of course I’m going to take it back and demand my widescreen version. Let’s hope the big, goofy giraffe is understanding.

The funny thing about this story is that my friend Nick e-mailed me earlier this week and shared a story where the exact same thing happened to him when he bought Spider-Man at Target. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re both college-educated individuals. You’d think we’d do better at simple reading. Nick was an English major, for crying-out-loud.

It is my opinion that retailers need to stick the full screen and wide screen versions of movies AS FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER AS POSSIBLE. Treat them like they were just divorced. Use the VHS copies like they were kids used for leverage and stick them in the middle so we know where the dividing line is. Turn left for quality. Turn right for a version that’s just as good as anything you’ll see on TBS.

For the love of God, I don’t know why anyone in their right mind would choose the full screen version. It’s like buying beer without alcohol in it. Don’t tell me you drink it for the taste!

QUICK PLUG: I almost forgot, but everyone needs to swing by Unmentionables. Protege108th was cool enough to sneak our characters into the background of his latest strip and I promised I would give him a shout-out.

It’s a good comic. If you’re in the loop at all, you know that already.