Posts Tagged ‘abs’

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THE ARTISTIC SOLUTION

by Tom on November 23rd, 2009
41 votes, average: 8.34 out of 10
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THE ARTISTIC SOLUTION

Before today's blog, I wanted to quickly remind everyone about the fund raising campaign for Theater Hopper: Year Three over at Kickstarter.

There wasn't a whole lot of traction on pledges last week and that may have been due in part to the fact that I wasn't promoting the campaign as hard as I could. We had a really great week two weeks prior and maybe it left me feeling a little too comfortable.

So instead of burying a blog post about the campaign below the main blog, I wanted to take the proactive approach and remind you of it right away.

Please visit the campaign page at Kickstarter and if you have any money to pledge, please consider doing so today. I know here in America it's going to be a short week because of the Thanksgiving holiday. So if you're thinking about pledging, sooner is probably better than later.

Right now we're 35% funded with 38 days to go. Let's see if we can get that a little closer to 50% before all the turkey and tryptophan settles in and makes us sluggish!

Now, onto the blog!

Today's comic is sad, but also a little bit true. I mean, who wouldn't want awesome abs - especially it impressed your wife?

The only piece of fiction in this comic is that Cami knows/cares anything about Taylor Lautner. Even if she did, what are you going to do? I can't compete with the metabolism of a 17 year-old. Hell, I don't think I could compete with Taylor Lautner even IF I was 17 years-old.

As it has been widely reported, New Moon broke all kinds of box office records this weekend, taking in over $140 million and coming in third behind The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 3 for the biggest 3-day weekend opening ever.

There was some outrage in the blogosphere early Saturday when it was reported New Moon shattered The Dark Knight's opening night tally with $72.7 million, besting The Caped Crusader's $67.2 million - and it did it on 342 fewer theaters than The Dark Knight.

Some of the outraged comments I read online were particularly hilarious. And although part of me kind of wants to be outraged along with them, to do completely ignores two factors:

1.) The increasing escalation of box office reporting and one-upsmanship. If it wasn't New Moon that overtook The Dark Knight's record, it would have been some other movie. If not by popularity, but by sheer inflation alone.

2.) New Moon found success by virtue of an audience that was made up nearly 80% by women. When you consider Sandra Bullock's The Blind Side drew a respectable $34.5 million (the best opening of Bullock's career, by the way) with an audience made up of nearly 60% women, it is (as Entertainment Weekly put it) "of the most lopsidedly female-driven weekends in Hollywood history." Any way you slice it, that's impressive. So, good on ya, ladies!

At this point it would be very easy to delve into the debate that popularity does not equal quality. But at this point I've taken a very live and let live attitude about things.

Do I understand the Twilight phenomenon? Do I want to see New Moon? Do I even want to see The Blind Side. The answer to all of those questions is "No." It's not my world. I don't understand it.

I don't mean to put that out there as an excuse for perpetual willful ignorance. If, for example, Cami wanted to see either movie - if it was important to her - I would go. My point is, these films are not important to me. Just as Transformers 2 wasn't important to her.

Now perhaps as a "critic," it's my job to go out and watch these films so I can tell you guys what I thought and if you should go see them or not. But Theater Hopper has never been about film criticism in a traditional sense. My opinions are not based in any kind of formal education and neither are they driven by a motivation to fit within a social or artistic context.

Simply, they are what they are. I present them to you as a friend might present his or hers to you. No one is holding me to some kind of invisible journalistic standard that demands objectivity and fairness. So if I make the decision that I'm not going to see a movie for whatever reason, I believe I have that latitude- so long as I can at least attempt to explain what lead me to that conclusion.

Besides, considering New Moon's 29% rotten rating at Rotten Tomatoes, I think it's safe to say that the film is essentially critic-proof. What kind of influence could I hope to express?

I'm sure we'll be talking about New Moon's success and more on The Triple Feature tonight at 9:00 PM CST on TalkShoe. Be sure to join us live if you want to participate in the conversation.

In the meantime, you can always leave your comments here. What were your thoughts about New Moon? Did it live up to your expectations or did it leave something to be desired?

And speaking of desire, what about Taylor Lautner's abs? Amirite, ladies? Leave your comments below!

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WORSHIP AT THE ALTAR OF YOUTH

by Tom on June 19th, 2009
20 votes, average: 7.65 out of 10
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WORSHIP AT THE ALTAR OF YOUTH
Vote for Theater Hopper at Top Web Comics

Ryan Reynolds isn't the only one who can grate cheese off his abs. Vote for Theater Hopper at Top Web Comics to see what I'm talking about.

I think we can all agree that Ryan Reynolds is a very attractive person. I have no shame in admitting this. In fact, I'm certain that were I disciplined enough, having abs like Ryan Reynolds would clear up roughly 43% of my self-esteem issues. If this acting thing doesn't shake out, he could be a full-time Men's Health cover model.

Cami's line about me nursing a crush on Reynolds since Van Wilder wasn't an exaggeration. In addition to his physical appearance, there's just something about his delivery I've always enjoyed - even when he's playing it broad. Van Wilder is an infinitely more enjoyable film because of what Reynolds brings to the role. For proof, watch the Reynolds-less Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj. It's basically the same movie set in a different location and putting Kal Penn in the lead role.

Although can someone please explain to me how National Lampoon got away with calling the film "Van Wilder 2" when Van Wilder is nowhere in that movie?

The Proposal comes out this weekend and it looks like a boilerplate Sandra Bullock rom-com piffle. I didn't mean to be harsh with the punchline of today's comic by pointing out Bullock's age (she's actually 45). But it really sticks out to me in the commercials and trailers for this movie when she's been paired with an actor roughly 15 years her junior.

Of course, with leading men, this is never an issue and sometimes even MORE prominent. Actors in their 50's being paired up with actresses in their 20's you see it all the time. Don't misjudge me and assume that I don't think Bullock is allowed to do the same.

But look back at Bullock's career. She's usually been paired with actors roughly her same age or older. And Bullock is nothing if not a creature of habit. She's been acting in the same kind of movies for roughly a decade now. So even if the formula changes a little bit, it's note-worthy.

I know I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but I kind of hope they work it into the script somehow. It would be an opportunity to make it funny.

Switching gears, I wanted to talk about some of the issues we've been having with the site for the last week and a half. By now you pretty much know what's going on with the malware errors, Google Chrome, Safari and the like.

I can tell you that we're doing everything we can to scrub the site at every opportunity, but we've been compromised in a way that we can not immediately fix. Someone shared with me a link to this article that will hopefully shed some light on the situation and give you some insight as to the problems we're dealing with.

I can only hope at some point someone will develop some kind of defense for this thing because every time I locate and strip the malicious code, it's back on the site a few hours later. Until then, I feel like I'm twiddling my thumbs.

On top of this hacker problem, I'm also experiencing difficulties with the recent upgrade to WordPress 2.8. As you can see, the comic ranking system is frozen and the calendar and search functions normally to the right of the blog are missing.

Behind the scenes, the post tagging system does not work and I cannot edit the status of my posts. It's a real drag.

Combing the internet, I can see there are several unhappy customers. People are pretty much saying it's completely bungled on WordPress's part.

I was thinking I would roll back the site to 2.7, but I guess I didn't make a backup. I thought I did, but now I can't find it. Maybe I e-mailed to myself and deleted it before I realized the problems 2.8 was having. But it's a mess.

Anyway, that's my problem, not your problem. But I just wanted to give everyone a status update.

Let's talk about the weekend! In addition to The Proposal, Year One is also coming out and it looks like it's getting trashed in the reviews. It's a shame, because I really respect and admire Harold Ramis. But you could kind of tell from the trailers that the movie didn't have a clear direction. What's up with Jack Black and Michael Cera skipping through time? It looks confusing.

Is anyone still planning on seeing Year One? What about The Proposal? Or is everyone waiting for Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen to come along next week and step on everything? Leave your comments below!

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