Posts Tagged ‘Team Jacob’

2 items.

THE ARTISTIC SOLUTION

by Tom on November 23rd, 2009
41 votes, average: 8.34 out of 10
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
THE ARTISTIC SOLUTION

Before today's blog, I wanted to quickly remind everyone about the fund raising campaign for Theater Hopper: Year Three over at Kickstarter.

There wasn't a whole lot of traction on pledges last week and that may have been due in part to the fact that I wasn't promoting the campaign as hard as I could. We had a really great week two weeks prior and maybe it left me feeling a little too comfortable.

So instead of burying a blog post about the campaign below the main blog, I wanted to take the proactive approach and remind you of it right away.

Please visit the campaign page at Kickstarter and if you have any money to pledge, please consider doing so today. I know here in America it's going to be a short week because of the Thanksgiving holiday. So if you're thinking about pledging, sooner is probably better than later.

Right now we're 35% funded with 38 days to go. Let's see if we can get that a little closer to 50% before all the turkey and tryptophan settles in and makes us sluggish!

Now, onto the blog!

Today's comic is sad, but also a little bit true. I mean, who wouldn't want awesome abs - especially it impressed your wife?

The only piece of fiction in this comic is that Cami knows/cares anything about Taylor Lautner. Even if she did, what are you going to do? I can't compete with the metabolism of a 17 year-old. Hell, I don't think I could compete with Taylor Lautner even IF I was 17 years-old.

As it has been widely reported, New Moon broke all kinds of box office records this weekend, taking in over $140 million and coming in third behind The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 3 for the biggest 3-day weekend opening ever.

There was some outrage in the blogosphere early Saturday when it was reported New Moon shattered The Dark Knight's opening night tally with $72.7 million, besting The Caped Crusader's $67.2 million - and it did it on 342 fewer theaters than The Dark Knight.

Some of the outraged comments I read online were particularly hilarious. And although part of me kind of wants to be outraged along with them, to do completely ignores two factors:

1.) The increasing escalation of box office reporting and one-upsmanship. If it wasn't New Moon that overtook The Dark Knight's record, it would have been some other movie. If not by popularity, but by sheer inflation alone.

2.) New Moon found success by virtue of an audience that was made up nearly 80% by women. When you consider Sandra Bullock's The Blind Side drew a respectable $34.5 million (the best opening of Bullock's career, by the way) with an audience made up of nearly 60% women, it is (as Entertainment Weekly put it) "of the most lopsidedly female-driven weekends in Hollywood history." Any way you slice it, that's impressive. So, good on ya, ladies!

At this point it would be very easy to delve into the debate that popularity does not equal quality. But at this point I've taken a very live and let live attitude about things.

Do I understand the Twilight phenomenon? Do I want to see New Moon? Do I even want to see The Blind Side. The answer to all of those questions is "No." It's not my world. I don't understand it.

I don't mean to put that out there as an excuse for perpetual willful ignorance. If, for example, Cami wanted to see either movie - if it was important to her - I would go. My point is, these films are not important to me. Just as Transformers 2 wasn't important to her.

Now perhaps as a "critic," it's my job to go out and watch these films so I can tell you guys what I thought and if you should go see them or not. But Theater Hopper has never been about film criticism in a traditional sense. My opinions are not based in any kind of formal education and neither are they driven by a motivation to fit within a social or artistic context.

Simply, they are what they are. I present them to you as a friend might present his or hers to you. No one is holding me to some kind of invisible journalistic standard that demands objectivity and fairness. So if I make the decision that I'm not going to see a movie for whatever reason, I believe I have that latitude- so long as I can at least attempt to explain what lead me to that conclusion.

Besides, considering New Moon's 29% rotten rating at Rotten Tomatoes, I think it's safe to say that the film is essentially critic-proof. What kind of influence could I hope to express?

I'm sure we'll be talking about New Moon's success and more on The Triple Feature tonight at 9:00 PM CST on TalkShoe. Be sure to join us live if you want to participate in the conversation.

In the meantime, you can always leave your comments here. What were your thoughts about New Moon? Did it live up to your expectations or did it leave something to be desired?

And speaking of desire, what about Taylor Lautner's abs? Amirite, ladies? Leave your comments below!

7 Comments

LIKE ANTIQUING, BUT MORE FABULOUS

by Tom on November 18th, 2009
119 votes, average: 8.40 out of 10
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
LIKE ANTIQUING, BUT MORE FABULOUS

I have to admit feeling a certain amount of pressure writing today's comic. I knew I wanted to do something that continued to explore New Moon, but I didn't know exactly what that would be. I knew it would involve shirtlessness, but I wasn't sure how.

Added to this pressure was the unexpected reaction to Monday's comic. Lots of positive comments, e-mails and feedback which I greatly appreciate!

We have a little comic ranking system below each strip and usually about 20 or so of you habitually leave your two cents and rank the comics on a scale of 1 to 10. It's a handy little litmus test that I enjoy checking in on because it helps me know when I'm doing well and when I might need to freshen things up with the strip.

The response to Monday's comic was unprecedented. As of this writing, it generated 52 votes with an average of 9.67 out of 10 - nearly perfect. I take that seriously because it's one thing if a couple of guys give a comic a 9 or 10 star rating. But when you're able to maintain that average across 50 people, that means you really did something right!

So, thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

Which brings us to today's comic...

When I think about it, it probably makes more sense for Goth Jared to be excited about New Moon, since the sullen protagonists of the film fit so neatly into his world view. But I needed someone who was over-enthusiastic about the movie to help sell the punchline where glitter is thrown into Tom's face. Admittedly, the punchline is a bit of a non sequitur. But it sounded funny to me.

In my head, a guy going shirtless to a Twilight movie counts as attending "in costume." Following that line of logic, it would also make sense to cover yourself head to toe in glitter if you planned on attending as the sunken-cheeked Hollister model known as Edward Cullen.

For the life of me, I will never understand why Stephanie Meyer chose to upend the vampire myth and allow the vampires in her books the ability to walk around in daylight. Twilight would be a much more satisfying franchise if Edward Cullen's head burst into flames every time he pokes that moussed-up haystack out of a window. By turning vampires into My Little Ponies, she has effectively de-fanged them as a menacing threat (if you'll pardon the pun). And how boring is that?

I was combing the internet looking for the reasons WHY Meyers's vampires sparkle in the sunlight and - as usual - Yahoo! Answers has the most hilarious dissection of the subject:

Q: Why are Twilight vampires beautiful and why do they sparkle?

Okay, so the venom that's supposed to help sedate you so the vampire can kill you will somehow turn you into the perfect, immortal model with diamond cells. With creative license, I can buy that, I suppose. But WHY do they?

Vampires are predators. Sparkling in the sunlight would tell your prey that you were coming. It would give you away. Now, they supposedly sparkle and are beautiful to attract their prey - humans - which would be attracted by your physical beauty. However, Edward specifically says at some point that people purposefully didn't approach them because, due to instinct, they're scared of them. And if they're ungodly fast and strong, why do they need to lure their prey in, in the first place?

BEST ANSWER

It's because Meyers doesn't know what she writes. She seems never to have gone to 5th grade English lessons. Her entire writing contradicts itself at every possible opportunity.

I think Edward's beautiful so Bella gets attracted to Edward, LUST. Because she never talked to anyone else, the love she feels for Edward is LUST, she only talks about Edward's beauty. Nothing else.

Another thing abut Bella, she's an idiot. Giving up her friends, her family, just so she can spend eternity as a 18 year old, is at the very least, disturbing.

I love you, Yahoo! Answers.

Does anyone here have any thoughts about why Meyers's vampires are all glammed out? If so, leave your comments below. Until then, thanks for reading and have a great day!

45 Comments