I have to admit feeling a certain amount of pressure writing today’s comic. I knew I wanted to do something that continued to explore New Moon, but I didn’t know exactly what that would be. I knew it would involve shirtlessness, but I wasn’t sure how.

Added to this pressure was the unexpected reaction to Monday’s comic. Lots of positive comments, e-mails and feedback which I greatly appreciate!

We have a little comic ranking system below each strip and usually about 20 or so of you habitually leave your two cents and rank the comics on a scale of 1 to 10. It’s a handy little litmus test that I enjoy checking in on because it helps me know when I’m doing well and when I might need to freshen things up with the strip.

The response to Monday’s comic was unprecedented. As of this writing, it generated 52 votes with an average of 9.67 out of 10 – nearly perfect. I take that seriously because it’s one thing if a couple of guys give a comic a 9 or 10 star rating. But when you’re able to maintain that average across 50 people, that means you really did something right!

So, thank you! I’m really glad you enjoyed it.

Which brings us to today’s comic…

When I think about it, it probably makes more sense for Goth Jared to be excited about New Moon, since the sullen protagonists of the film fit so neatly into his world view. But I needed someone who was over-enthusiastic about the movie to help sell the punchline where glitter is thrown into Tom’s face. Admittedly, the punchline is a bit of a non sequitur. But it sounded funny to me.

In my head, a guy going shirtless to a Twilight movie counts as attending “in costume.” Following that line of logic, it would also make sense to cover yourself head to toe in glitter if you planned on attending as the sunken-cheeked Hollister model known as Edward Cullen.

For the life of me, I will never understand why Stephanie Meyer chose to upend the vampire myth and allow the vampires in her books the ability to walk around in daylight. Twilight would be a much more satisfying franchise if Edward Cullen’s head burst into flames every time he pokes that moussed-up haystack out of a window. By turning vampires into My Little Ponies, she has effectively de-fanged them as a menacing threat (if you’ll pardon the pun). And how boring is that?

I was combing the internet looking for the reasons WHY Meyers’s vampires sparkle in the sunlight and – as usual – Yahoo! Answers has the most hilarious dissection of the subject:

Q: Why are Twilight vampires beautiful and why do they sparkle?

Okay, so the venom that’s supposed to help sedate you so the vampire can kill you will somehow turn you into the perfect, immortal model with diamond cells. With creative license, I can buy that, I suppose. But WHY do they?

Vampires are predators. Sparkling in the sunlight would tell your prey that you were coming. It would give you away. Now, they supposedly sparkle and are beautiful to attract their prey – humans – which would be attracted by your physical beauty. However, Edward specifically says at some point that people purposefully didn’t approach them because, due to instinct, they’re scared of them. And if they’re ungodly fast and strong, why do they need to lure their prey in, in the first place?


It’s because Meyers doesn’t know what she writes. She seems never to have gone to 5th grade English lessons. Her entire writing contradicts itself at every possible opportunity.

I think Edward’s beautiful so Bella gets attracted to Edward, LUST. Because she never talked to anyone else, the love she feels for Edward is LUST, she only talks about Edward’s beauty. Nothing else.

Another thing abut Bella, she’s an idiot. Giving up her friends, her family, just so she can spend eternity as a 18 year old, is at the very least, disturbing.

I love you, Yahoo! Answers.

Does anyone here have any thoughts about why Meyers’s vampires are all glammed out? If so, leave your comments below. Until then, thanks for reading and have a great day!

↓ Transcript
Why must you be so close-minded and insist New Moon is only for teenage girls?

Look at Jared: HE'S a guy and HE'S excited to see it!

I'M going with a shirt!

...because that's a thing now!