I didn’t get an opportunity to see Hollywood Homicide as I had predicted in a previous blog. Mostly due to the fact this this was Father’s Day weekend and a lot of family-time took presidence. Any free time I had was spent sleeping. I don’t think I’ve ever taken so many naps in a two-day period.
My excessive sleepiness was probably due to one of the most stressful weeks I’ve had on record. Being the crazy, compulsive person that I am, a lot of things remained bottled up until Saturday. When the cork came off, I was exhausted.
I won’t get into all of the details of my hell week, but I’m prepared to share the tale of one of the contributing factors – which has everything to do with Theater Hopper.
If you came to the site at all Wednesday night, Thursday or Friday morning, you might have noticed that the site was down. It is natural preference that the site not go down at all, but if I ever find myself in the situation, I would have at least hoped it was because the site was “too popular” or perhaps a massive demand that my hosting provider could not compensate for.
No such luck.
As it happened, I received an e-mail from my hosting provider informing me that my account had be CANCELED(!!!) for “lack of payment”. The final notice also made me aware that several attempts had been made to contact me and that I should have received warning both before and after payment was due. I could reinstate the account, but only after paying for that month’s hosting as well as a $25 “processing fee”.
Immediately I knew this was B.S. because all of my hosting costs are automatically charged to my credit card. Well aware of my credit’s good standing, I contact my hosting provider and asked what was up.
As is usual, I received a reply within minutes. They informed me that my credit card information did not carry over after I had converted TheaterHopper.com from a “resold” account (or an account I received at a discounted price) to a regular-priced, full account. Totally an accounting error on their part. They said I could have the account back if I paid for the month of hosting that I missed up front.
Cognisent of the previous cancelation notice, I replied that I would gladly pay the one month of missed hosting, but would the $25 “processing fee” be waved. I stated firmly that I would not pay for their error and wanted this confirmed.
At this point, I did not hear from my hosting provider for 2 DAYS!
As you can imagine, I was freaking out. Having the site down on a Thursday (while still unacceptable) at least gave me some time to right the situation before the comic day on Friday.
Feverishly, I wrote to my hosting provider at regular intervals throughout the day. Accustomed to receiving prompt attention in the past, I became more paniced as Thursday ebbed into Friday.
Still no word.
By the time Friday came into view, I was in full freak-out mode. It wasn’t until about 1:00 that day that I finally heard back from them. I won’t bore you with what was said, but rest assured there was a little back and forth. I expressed my frustration over their delay, my confusion on what I owed and what I did not. Ultimately, the site came back on-line around 2:00 CST Friday.
I prepared a strip in case such a miracle took place, but admit it’s not the best. I was so preoccupied with worry, every line I drew felt muted by distraction.
In the aftermath, my host followed up with me to explain that the suddenly stopped receiving e-mail from certain providers (I use Hotmail) and that is why I went so long without hearing from them.
And while I swore up and down that I would move my hosting the minute I was able to download everything off of their servers, I now find myself much more complacent. After all, it was an honest error. Why uproot the entire operation?
Still, it was a scary two days. I’m glad it’s over.
I want to send a shout-out to Carrington from Movie Punks who offered excellent support and friendship. He was definately a calming influence and was kind enough to pass along information to his readers about the status of my situation.
Also, big-ups to Tim from Bug & Slug who checked in with support.
To the rest of you who sent e-mail while the site was down and even after it returned with your positive comments, thanks. It really means a lot to know that, in some capacity, Theater Hopper would be missed if ever the plug was pulled.
If that’s not a ringing endorsement, I don’t know what is. Thanks again.
I know it’s not incredibly inventive to joke about Harrison Ford being of retirement age when he puts on fedora for a fourth time this summer. In fact, I’ve commented on his decline as an action hero before. In my opinion, he needs to move onto more character pieces and leave the action movies to the young bucks – whoever they might be.
Frankly, I’m seeing a disturbing trend when it comes to trotting out these old action stars. Slyvester Stallone was first out of the gate with Rocky Balboa. He’ll do it again in Rambo 4: Pearl of the Cobra in 2008. Bruce Willis is dusting off John McClane in Live Free or Die Hard this summer. As reported last week, they’ve settled on a script and Harrison Ford will be playing Indiana Jones for the fourth time in 2008. It’s only a matter of time before Arnold Schwarzennegger’s term as California governor expires and I’ll bet dollars to donuts that he’ll throw his hat back into movie-making since all these other old guys are doing it. It’s riduculous and it has to stop. To that end, I’ve dedicated myself to making fun of this new trend in ’07 where ever I might see it.
Quick bit of news – we’re bringing back the talkcast.
Be sure to join myself, Joe Dunn from Joe Loves Crappy Movies and Gordon McAlpin from Multiplex tonight at 9:00 PM CST when we debut our new joint talkcast appropriately titled "The Triple Feature." The three of us will be getting together for an hour every Monday night at 9:00 PM to discuss the latest movie releases, comics and pop culture. We’ll be taking your calls throughout the show, so be sure to visit the TalkShoe web site about 15 minutes before hand so you’re in the room when we start broadcasting.
I think Joe and Gordon are itching to talk about Children of Men, which I’ve yet to see. But I can probably talk about the site redesign, or something, if things get slow.
If you want a sense of what to expect, you can download the first three shows from last year. They’re a lot longer than what we plan on doing in ’07, but Joe and Gordon made appearances in a few of them and you can download them to get a sense of how we interact. They’re a lot of fun to listen to!
I didn’t get an opportunity to make it to the theater this weekend. Cami’s baby shower was on Saturday afternoon and we pretty much spent all day Sunday organizing everything and washing clothes. It’s a crazy time to be alive! Can you believe A Night at the Museum took in $24 million in it’s third week? That means its box office is up to $164 million. Does that mean there is a sequel in the works? It’s the runaway hit of the holidays! Have you guys seen it? What did you think?
Every time I think I’ve put a bow on an arc, I always think of different ways that I could stretch it into infinity.
Today’s comic was supposed to be the end of the Shia LaBeouf arc. But obviously the way I’ve set up the punchline in today’s comic, there has to be some kind of action taken against Shia next week, don’t you think?
I guess I’ve been hip-deep in this storyline so long, I don’t know if you guys are into it anymore? If you have a free minute, send me some feedback, won’t you?
So far this week, I think I’ve made a pretty good case against Shia – both in the comic and in the blog. I wanted to squeeze more examples into today’s comic, but there wasn’t enough room in the second panel to do that.
Regardless of the damming testimony I’ve come up with so far, I knew that photo from the set of the upcoming Indiana Jones movie was my secret weapon. First of all, that leather jacket isn’t working for me. It communicates only one thing – “Greaser.” I don’t need you screwing up my Indiana Jones movie with any shenanigans from Grease.
Second, Shia SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING THE MOTORCYCLE WITH INDIANA JONES RIDING BITCH! You want to ride a motorcycle, that’s fine. Here’s a Vespa. But if you’re hanging out with Indiana Jones – guess what? – HE’S DRIVING!
You want another reason to hate Shia? Check out this production photo from the set of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT MOUSTACHE? KNOCK IT OFF!
Probably the most dispiriting aspect of this whole Shia debacle is that he appears to have become Steven Spielberg’s protege. And with Vanity Fair declaring him “the next Tom Hanks,” there are too many favorable associations floating around this kid. Did he make some kind of bargain with Lucifer? Because, if not, I think we should all strongly consider having Steven Spielberg committed to a mental institution.
That’s as much venom as I have for you today. Have a great weekend!
Sorry today’s comic was late. Like, REALLY late. I didn’t get a chance to post it until after 11:00 PM. The reason for the delay is that Henry has come down with a wicked cold and has been running a fever. So, we’ve been watching him pretty closely. As such I don’t have much of a blog post for you today. Sorry. But, hey! Harrison Ford! That’s cool, right?
If you’re interested, be sure to check out my review of Ratatouille which came out on DVD yesterday. Or you can keep yourselves busy by downloading Monday’s broadcast of The Triple Feature. We’ve really been on fire these last few episodes. I’ve been really proud of how they’ve turned out.
I’ll have another review on the site tomorrow – The Pixar Short Films Collection, Volume 1 – so be on the lookout for that.
Thanks for your understanding. I appreciate it!
So this is it. The big finish.
I suppose some of you might be let down by the comeuppance Shia LaBeouf receives. Personally, I would have hoped that it would have been a little more Machiavellian, but sometimes a solid punch to the gut is what you need.
You can see it went a little larger with the comic today. I think it’s the first time I’ve done that. I did it to kind of punctuate the story arc by giving you a little more. Even though I can see a thousand different opportunities where to take this, I think after a month it’s best to hang it up and move on to new things.
I hope you guys enjoyed the arc. I had a lot of fun writing it. Probably the high point for me was last Friday’s strip where I broke out the production photo of Harrison Ford riding bitch on a motorcycle Shia was driving. That was the tipping point. Here I was making this case for why you should hate Shia LaBeouf and some people were like, “I don’t get it.” Show them that picture and all of a sudden they’re like, “I HATE THAT GUY!” I always knew it was my secret weapon.
I have to give thanks to those of you with StubmleUpon and Reddit accounts that gave that strip prominence on the social bookmark circuit. Your efforts brought CRAZY traffic to the site and I can’t thank you enough. If only we can have that going on all the time. How cool would that be? Of course it’s a good idea to bookmark EVERY Theater Hopper strip – but I think asking you guys to concentrate your efforts on a specific comic really paid off. So I might try that trick again at some point in the future.
Incidentally, if you’re new to the strip – welcome! I hope you add us to your bookmarks and check back often.
Not much more to tell you except I’m seeing Beowulfthis weekend and I’m really looking forward to it.
At first I was kind of “Meh” about Beowulf. I was like, “I read the poem in high school. What more do you want from me?” But then the footage for the trailers started seeping into my brain and I became really curious as to how they were going to make this motion capture stuff work.
I saw The Polar Express. It was the last time Robert Zemekis tried the motion capture trick and I didn’t like it. The children looked like dead-eyed Play-Doh zombies. Will he be able to breathe life int a much more epic story? I like that he keeps reaching for that brass ring.
Oh – real quick, I have to point your attention to a recent Joe Loves Crappy Movies comic about the parking lot thriller P2. Joe came up with a new term based on how bad the movie was to describe theater hopping and he gives us a funny shout out. Read it!
Anyway, that’s it for me! Thanks again for your support and have a great weekend!
First off, apologies for the lateness of today’s comic. I was having all kind of issues with my internet provider over the weekend. Of course, we had a huge blizzard here in Iowa that probably had something to do with it, so I can’t get too mad with them.
Good thing I was a home when things got turned back on so I could post to the site.
But, waitaminute. Shouldn’t I be at work? What am I doing at home on a Monday morning? You can thank this guy.
That’s my boy Henry and he’s one year-old today! Both Cami and I took the day off to celebrate with him.
I wish I had something more profound to say about my experiences in the last year, but the entire process of fatherhood is so completely transformative, I’m not sure I recognize the person I was before Henry came into my life – so it’s difficult to pinpoint what’s different.
In many ways I feel like Henry has always been here with us. I can’t really remember the days where Cami and I would simply lay around on a Saturday and watch an I Love the 80’s marathon on VH1 anymore. (That’s probably for the best.)
Certainly Henry is much different than the little sleepy lump we brought home from the hospital a year ago. Watching him develop has been an everyday miracle. I know most parents feel this way, but I felt like we really lucked out with Henry. He has a great temperment and a sense of humor. Loves to laugh and smile. Very verbal. He’s already identifying things like blocks, books and ball. In the last week, he’s been standing himself up. He’s *this* close to walking now. It’s amazing.
I don’t post many pictures of Henry in this space and that’s been by design. Partially to protect him and partially because of relevance. I mean, this is a web comic about movies, you know?
But I was looking over all of the wonderful e-mails of support readers sent a year ago when Henry was born and thought you guys would appreciate seeing how far the little guy has come. One day I’m going to show him those e-mails and explain to him how so many people welcomed him into the world without ever knowing him. There are good people in the world. You guys are some of the best.
Part of me wondered if I would have to set Theater Hopper aside after Henry was born. It’s been a bumpy ride over the last year, but I think we’ve found a way to make it work. A large part of that is because of your patience and support. Thanks for continuing to read Theater Hopper, thank you for your encouragement and thanks for supporting me and my family.
I’ll be back with more news later in the day. Big news, actually, that will affect the future of Theater Hopper in a really good way. But for now, I have to help decorate a birthday cake!
See you soon!
DVD REVIEW – INDIANA JONES: THE ADVENTURE COLLECTION
May 13th, 2008 | by Tom(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 10)
At this point, reviewing the films in the Indiana Jones trilogy is a pointless exercise. For many of us, these films are woven into the tapestry of our lives – watched countless times on video and television. Enjoyed again and again with family and friends. They are omnipresent peaks in between the hills and valleys of the pop culture landscape. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg have created a series of timeless films whose legacy expands in one week with the release of Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – nearly 19 years since the intrepid archeologist’s last adventure, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.
So, to that end, what is the reason behind re-releasing the first three films on DVD? Especially when they were first released (to much fanfare in 2003)? Clearly it’s a money grab on the part of Paramount, but a welcome one because included are several new bonus features that might be worth your while. Since the Indiana Jones trilogy set such a high water mark in the pop culture consciousness, we’ll be highlighting the DVD extras in this review rather than the films themselves to help you determine if this box set is something you want to add to your DVD collection. The re-released films can be found in stores today, Tuesday, May 13.
Each of the three films contain an “introduction” featuring Lucas and Spielberg speaking about their respective films, but it’s really more of a 20 minute retrospective than an introduction. These are the most revealing and insightful of the collections many extras specifically because they highlight something I’ve assumed for a long time.
George Lucas is an idiot.
Don’t get me wrong. I owe George Lucas a lot. He’s an amazing conceptualist who was able to envision whole galaxies and he has provided me a great deal of entertainment of the years. So I thank him for that.
But as an Executive Producer, he fails – and these featurettes prove it.
Talking about the casting decision to put Harrison Ford under Indy’s famous fedora, Lucas wasn’t for it. Savvy film fans know that the role was originally given to Tom Selleck who was unable to commit to the role due to his involvement with Magnum, P.I. For was Spielberg’s first choice, but Lucas objected siting the success of Star Wars and his concerns that audiences would only be familiar with Ford has Han Solo.
Similarly, for The Last Crusade, Lucas did not want Sean Connery for the role of Indy’s father – concerned that audiences would not accept him in the subordinate sidekick role. Additionally, he was concerned that audiences would only see Connery as 007 – despite the fact that he hadn’t made a James Bond movie (not counting Never Say Never Again) since 1965. Speilberg actually had to convince Lucas that James Bond was the prototype for Indiana Jones in several ways and therefore having Connery play Indiana Jones’s father made sense in a cinematic way.
Most damning, however, is the featurette on The Temple of Doom. Spielberg pretty much comes right out of the gate saying that the movie wasn’t profitable, it wasn’t well-liked by critics, is the most downbeat and least enjoyable of the original three films. Watching again for the first time in a few years, I myself had not noticed how bleak it actually is. Very violent and almost gory. Specifically, the scenes of child abuse in the temple strike a nerve in a way they haven’t before. I guess being a parent now, a switch must have flipped.
But what gets revealed here is Lucas’s insistence that The Temple of Doom go down a dark path. He insisted on it, in fact – siting the success of The Empire Strikes Back. In Lucas’s mind, the second act of a trilogy needs to be downbeat so the hero can rally and come back stronger in the third installment. He actually says this in the featurette.
But there’s a problem with this logic. The Indiana Jones trilogy was not written as one film like Star Wars was. They are episodic like the old Republic adventure serials. The second issue is that – chronologically – The Temple of Doom actually takes place one year before Raiders of The Lost Ark. So shouldn’t the first movie be the downtrodden one.
Most outrageously of all, after Spielberg talks about his distaste for the film, Lucas admits that it is also his least favorite of the three because of it’s dark tone. “I’m more of a humor guy,” he says.
WHAT?! I actually had to pause the DVD and rewind it to make sure I heard him right.
It just goes to show that Lucas doesn’t trust his actors or even his audience to interpret his films correctly. Points for professionalism go to Spielberg, however, who expresses that he was a director hired to execute Lucas’s vision and performed the role he was hired to do.
For those of you hoping for an audio commentary on these movies, you’re out of luck. The “introduction” featurettes are as close as you’re going to get to listening to Spielberg and Lucas wax philosophical on their films.
Other featurettes on Raiders of The Lost Ark include “Indiana Jones: An Appreciation” where cast members from Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull talk about the first three movies and their memories of each. It’s a fluff piece that will probably have greater context after The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull comes out on DVD, but, for now, feels highly promotional.
More interesting in the featurette “The Melting Face” where we go behind-the-scenes and talk to the effects supervisor who created the most nightmare-inducing effect of the early 80’s with Toht’s melting face after the Ark of the Covenant is opened. They show you how it’s done from start to finish, providing side-by-side comparisons to the original effect with a recreation developed specifically for release.
The featurettes on The Temple of Doom include “Creepy Crawlies” where critter wranglers on all three films discuss how they corralled all of the various snakes, bugs and rats to hit their marks and terrify the actors. They also hint at the tradition continuing in the fourth film, but don’t give away specifics as to what.
“Locations” highlight all of the remote areas around the globe that Indiana Jones shot to give the series it’s globetrotting vibe. Everywhere from Sri Lanka to Jordan, Vencie and Utah. Even the same canyon in Tunisia where R2-D2 was captured by Jawas in the first Star Wars!
Finally, The Last Crusade has a featurette called “Friends and Enemies” that provides an overview of the supporting characters in the Indiana Jones films and an exerpt from a sit down discussion with Karen Allen, Kate Capshaw and Alison Doody called “The Women: The American Fim Institute Tribute” which was originally recorded in conjunction with the film’s release on DVD five years ago.
The discussion starts out slow with each of the actresses talking more about how great Indiana Jones is as a character and less about their own contributions to the films.
Eventually, as things pick up, interesting tidbits about the actresses themselves are revealed. Alison Doody admit to being intimidated on set due to it being an early acting job and the most high profile one of her career. She talks about how Sean Connery “stole” her role as the sidekick of the picture and how she was offered several films featuring characters with Austrian accents after the film was released – even though she is Irish and had great trouble performing the accent in the film. She doesn’t come off as bitter, exactly. But more overwhelmed and maybe even slightly disinterested in the fame the film brought her.
Kate Capshaw spends a great deal of time talking about how critics ravaged the character of Willie Scott as annoying and grating and had very few kind things to say about her as well. In the way that she talks, you get the sense that she’s disassociated her performance and blames the critical response to how the character was written. “I told Stephen during filming,” Capshaw says, “that there was too much screaming!” Turns out she was right.
Interestingly enough, Spielberg goes on endlessly about Capshaw in the “introduction” featurette for The Temple of Doom. Despite the difficulties he had with the film, he says he can’t be too disappointed with the experience because it introduced him to Capshaw (they married in 1991). Spielberg talks at length about how enthralled he was with Capshaw’s performance, praising her comedic timing and gift for physical comedy. Nepotism runs pretty deep here.
It turns out that Karen Allen emerges as the most well-adjusted of Indy’s former flames. Still as effervescent as she was in the first film, it’s no doubt that same spunk brought her back to the role she left behind nearly 30 years in The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull.
Beyond that, each of the three films contain a storyboard sequence that compares drawings to the completed footage as well as multiple photo galleries featuring photos and props, production photography and portraits, effects and marketing materials. Some of the galleries are more interesting than others, specifically the effects and marketing sets. It’s kind of interested to see how Indiana Jones is repackaged for Japanese audiences.
Overall I don’t know if there is enough material here to warrant a repurchase of the DVDs if you already own the 2003 release. But if you don’t already own them and are looking for an excuse to get even MORE excited about The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, you can’t go wrong here. The films continue to entertain and they are simply a must for any serious DVD collection.
MOVIE REVIEW – INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
May 26th, 2008 | by Tom(2 votes, average: 7.00 out of 10)
Typically, when a franchise fill series takes the better part of a generation to introduce another sequel into the pop culture landscape, the entry could be misconstrued as a money grab.
But, for whatever reason, the latest installment of the Indiana Jones is a film that fans have been chomping at the bit to see. Chalk it up to excellent marketing, and indelible heroic lead or perhaps the sands of time fogging the lens of nostalgia.
After all these years, does Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull hold up? Infuriatingly, yes and no. While not a dour or violent as the exhausting Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull suffers from one too many head scratching, credibility straining moments that pull the view right out of the movie and suck the life from it.
However, the movie starts with a bang – literally. We catch up with our hero in 1957. Indy has been kidnapped and taken to a mysterious government warehouse in the middle of the Nevada dessert. His captor is KGB agent Irina Spalko, played with a hint of dominatrix glee by Cate Blanchet. She wants Indy to find an artifact that will give the Soviet army the upper hand in the escalating Cold War.
Indy’s romp and eventual escape from his Russian captors are the most exhilirating moments of the movie. And, although the sequence ends with one of those head-scratching moments I was referring to, you let it slide. Because it’s exactly the kind of "by the skin of your teeth" escape you wan to see Indiana Jones make.
Later on, when a switchblade-wielding greaser named Mutt Williams comes looking for Jones to help him track down his mother, also kidnapped by the Russians, it isn’t long before Indy is drawn back into the conflict.
What follows is a slow unraveling of the film’s initial bounce and swagger. The film begins to feel less like a treasure hunt and more like a series of unending action sequences.
Part of Indiana Jones’s appeal is that he is an everyman hero who can be hurt and complains about the obstacles being thrown in his path. While there is a certain amount of that bruiser charm on display here (largely at the expense of star Harrison Ford’s advancing age), eventually you feel like there simply isn’t enough time between harrowing escapes and near-misses for Indy to reflect on his mortality in a humorous way. The pacing of the film gives neither the audience or our hero time to rest.
By the time the film reaches it’s ultimate conclusion, it all kind of feels like a blur. Less of a “whodunnit” and more of a “whatwuzthat?”
The performances in the film are all well done – especially Harrison Ford who inhabits Indiana Jones so thoroughly, it’s the most fun I’ve had watching him on screen in years. Shia LaBeouf comes off less annoying than I expected, toning down his more frantic actorly tics and zeroing in on the "not quite a nerd, not quite a hunk" niche he occupies so well.
But some of the characters feel perfunctory. Ray Winstone as a duplicitous adventurer adds nothing but dead-weight and false conflict to the proceedings. Karen Allen returns as Marion Ravenwood – Indiana Jones’s one, true love. But her contribution feels less like a contextual advancement of the plot but more of a "fill in the blank" role required to explain relationships between characters.
With these check marks in the minus column, the movie doesn’t fail completely. Even though I recognize some of the more awful, groan-inducing moments (Shia LaBeouf – Kind of the Monkeys, anyone?) the movie delivered the kind of entertainment I was looking for. In some ways, it ignites the imagination in unexpected ways.
For example, it was alluded that Jones spent his time between adventures operating behind enemy lines in World War II and was designated the Army rank of Colonel. Both my wife and I turned to each other at the same time and said”I want to see THAT movie!”
But, for what is is, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull does not disappoint.
I think fanboys who are looking to pick apart every last detail of the movie won’t have a problem finding weaknesses in it’s armor. But, within it’s given context, how disappointed can you be? The sci-fi elements of the film fit within the 1950’s time period the movie takes place. The fantastic escapes and cartoonish villains really aren’t any worse than what Indy has faced in the past.
This is the double-edged sword of nostalgia. Some people will remember the original movies for being better than they were. Or, at least assume that Kingdom of Skull will always be the runt of the litter.
My biggest complaints have to do less with content and more with execution. Director Steven Spielberg swore up and down that the film would rely on practical effects and there is a little too much CGI for my taste in this picture. Some of the more knowing nods to past adventures could have been eliminated and the movie probably could have benefited from a little bit of a trim on its running time.
But overall? Fun is fun and Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull is an adventure I would line up for again in a heartbeat.