Posts Tagged ‘Charlies Angels: Full Throttle’
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I wish I could concentrate a little better on today’s blog, but I’ve been listening to the new Deftones album at full-blast and am having trouble remembering my last name. I get to see them live in less than a week! *GLEE!*
Time to focus.
Cami is really amped up to see Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle this weekend. The jokers marketing this picture totally have her number. I asked her why she wanted to see it, and she said “Because the girls are strong, they kick ass, and they look great.”
Girl-power packaged as summer entertainment. And for the men? A random ass-shot here and there.
Clearly this is not a marketing ploy I object to. Actually, the trailer for this movie is probably one of the best edited I’ve seen this year. It’s high energy, a little kitchy and it looks like a lot of fun.
Of course Bernie Mac looks stuck in a thankless role when the close the trailer with the poor man squeezed into a wetsuit complaining about sand up his ass, but oh well.
I know that if I go to see Charlie’s Angels this weekend, I’ll have fun while I’m there – but hate myself in the morning. I wish we had something more cerebral lined up on deck to swab the mind afterwords, but since 28 Days Later is the only other new offering, it looks like I’m going to have to rely on alcohol instead.
Speaking of which, 28 Days Later is NOT the sequel to that Sandra Bullock movie where she plays an alcoholic, it’s a zomibe flick. Although I would wager such a sequel would be scarier…
For the record, I was never a big fan of the first Charlie’s Angels movie. It stunk with Drew Barrymore’s influence. Every frame screamed “Lookit me! I’m a PRODUCER now!” I doubt this offering will be any different.
The only thing I liked about the first movie was Crispin Glover’s performance as The Thin Man. He was the LAST actor I would have picked for that role and he really impressed me. Sam Rockwell as the villian did a good job, too. But I’ve always liked his work – even in Galaxy Quest.
Everyone is talking about Demi Moore’s role in the film, heralding it as her “comeback” role. If that’s the case, I feel friggin’ sorry for her. What? She couldn’t get a role in The Hours?
To me, Demi Moore is the ultimate in negative female stereotypes. Just the amount of fuss people are making over her “spectacular body – and at 40! no less is proof of that. I don’t care what anyone says about her as an actress. Her legacy is Striptease – end of story. Just like Elizabeth Berkley’s is Showgirls. That’s all anyone will remember either of them for.
And the less said about it, the better.
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Jun30
The title of today’s strip pretty much sums up my reaction to Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. We saw the film this weekend and I could have sworn any semblance of a plot was overwritten by the copious number of Cameron Diaz ass shots. When that parody came out at the 2003 MTV Movie Awards earlier in June, they weren’t kidding about the number of butt shots in this movie!
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy watching the movie. It moves along at a zippy pace and you can tell they had a lot of fun making it.
But exiting the theater, I asked myself “What the hell did I just get through watching?” and immediately dumped it from my memory. Only upon revisiting it for today’s blog have I concluded what an awful waste of time it was.
To that end, does it please me that the sequel did less business in its opening weekend than the original? Yes. Yes it does.
There are a lot of big movies coming out this week for the holiday. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde as well as Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Cami is seeing Legally Blonde 2 on Wednesday when it opens with some friends. I’ll be out rocking my ass off at the Deftones concert.
I’m a little bummed because I really enjoyed the first one. It totally caught us by surprise when we watched the original while on vacation in Kansas City. I remember it clearly, too. We walked in just killing time (we were in town for a Janet Jackson concert) and were floored by how funny it was. It’s my hope the sequel can capture some of that same magic, but I have a feeling it’ll just be a retread. I’ll have to wait for Cami’s verdict to find out.
One movie I KNOW Cami won’t want to see is T3 and I’m not too sure I want to see it, either. I think I’m going more for the love of the franchise and less because I think it will be any good. There were too many cheesy lines in the trailer (“Desire is irrelevant! I… AM… A MACHINE!”) to make it look any good.
Still, I have hope that director Jonathan Mostow will do something interesting. Both his films Breakdown and U-571 really did a good job in the suspense department. You can say he’s inexperienced if you want, but the man knows how to establish mood. It should be interesting to see how he handles a big-budget picture.
In the meantime, I’m counting down the minutes to the 4th of July. We’re having a bunch of friends over for drinks and a BBQ. It’s a big deal for Cami and I because we don’t do this very often. We lucked out this time. It looks like a lot of our friends will be able to make it. Don’t you just love it when a holiday falls on a Friday?
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Nov09
Every time I think I’ve put a bow on an arc, I always think of different ways that I could stretch it into infinity.
Today’s comic was supposed to be the end of the Shia LaBeouf arc. But obviously the way I’ve set up the punchline in today’s comic, there has to be some kind of action taken against Shia next week, don’t you think?
I guess I’ve been hip-deep in this storyline so long, I don’t know if you guys are into it anymore? If you have a free minute, send me some feedback, won’t you?
So far this week, I think I’ve made a pretty good case against Shia – both in the comic and in the blog. I wanted to squeeze more examples into today’s comic, but there wasn’t enough room in the second panel to do that.
Regardless of the damming testimony I’ve come up with so far, I knew that photo from the set of the upcoming Indiana Jones movie was my secret weapon. First of all, that leather jacket isn’t working for me. It communicates only one thing – “Greaser.” I don’t need you screwing up my Indiana Jones movie with any shenanigans from Grease.
Second, Shia SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING THE MOTORCYCLE WITH INDIANA JONES RIDING BITCH! You want to ride a motorcycle, that’s fine. Here’s a Vespa. But if you’re hanging out with Indiana Jones – guess what? – HE’S DRIVING!
You want another reason to hate Shia? Check out this production photo from the set of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT MOUSTACHE? KNOCK IT OFF!
Probably the most dispiriting aspect of this whole Shia debacle is that he appears to have become Steven Spielberg’s protege. And with Vanity Fair declaring him “the next Tom Hanks,” there are too many favorable associations floating around this kid. Did he make some kind of bargain with Lucifer? Because, if not, I think we should all strongly consider having Steven Spielberg committed to a mental institution.
That’s as much venom as I have for you today. Have a great weekend!
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