Posts Tagged ‘American Pie’
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I know that technically Bulletproof Monk came out on Wednesday, but if the reviews are any indication, not many of you are running out to see it. That’s why I can make a joke about it today and pass it off a relevant content!
Some of you may not know, but Bulletproof Monk is based of a comic book. The premise is pure Saturday afternoon cheese. Opening in 1943 Tibet, Nazi’s come looking for a sacred scroll that will imbue whoever reads it with unimaginable power.
But every 60 years, the scroll is assigned a protector who takes on supernatural powers from his trainer that keeps him from aging and, essentially, bulletproof.
But, of course, like any good premise, Hollywood has to muck it up by throwing in Sean William Scott, AKA Stiffler from the American Pie movies. So evident is the bad casting in this respect that you can see it from space. The less said, the better.
Still, it WOULD be funny to watch Stiffler pull the old “semen in your beer” trick on Chow Yun Fat. Just for the expression on his face.
Good news, gang! Posters are back from the printer! And because you’ve all been so good, I’m unveiling the FULL DESIGN there on your right. That’s what the bad boy will look like, and you can take it home with you starting Monday!
That’s right! On Monday I’ll start taking orders, so be sure to check the site early so you can get one of the lower numbers in the 100 print run. Once again, I can’t stress enough, once they are gone THEY’RE GONE! I WON’T REMAKE THESE!
Each poster will be signed and numbered by me and I would be happy to include a personal message on your poster or otherwise on a separate letter. Each poster will be rolled up and mailed in an INDESTRUCTIBLE cardboard tube to prevent damage.
The only glitch now is finding a place that sells them in bulk. Most office supply stores only carry a dozen or so at a time, but that shouldn’t be difficult to get around.
Expect full details regarding payment, shipping and the remaining nitty-gritty on Monday. Demand looks to be pretty high, so be sure and check the site EARLY!
Beyond that, I plan on kicking back and taking it easy this weekend. Here’s hoping you have a great Easter/Passover as well!
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I’m sure to most of you, today’s comic is an ugly swipe at the American Pie movies. But I can attest that everything said in the 3rd panel rings very true to my ears. This is my honest-to-God interpretation of these movies, and I’m sticking by it.
I won’t deny that the original American Pie had something going for it. The amount of teenage sex they threw up onto the screen wasn’t anything audiences had seen since the hey-days of Porky’s.
But I still can’t hide my resentment.
I’m not a prude and I’m not uptight, but watching these movies makes me feel like I missed something in high school. And, high school being a touchy subject for me, I don’t like being asked to drudge up those memories for the sake of “entertainment”.
For me, and like a lot of you, high school was a daily battle and a boring chore all rolled into one. I had my share of friends and many varied interests. I wasn’t a shut in, picked on or angry at anyone.
But after four years, I was sick of navigating the sea of morons that surrounded me and found the experience without challenge, and worse, a total waste of time.
I don’t miss any of the people I went to high school with. The ones I still want to see, I make a point to see on a regular basis. The rest of them can go back to their lousy waitress jobs at Applebee’s. You won’t see me at any reunion.
I suppose in it’s own way, it’s sad that my high school experience still takes up this kind of real estate in my brain. At 25, I should probably be past it. But, well… here we are.
To that end, the makers of American Pie can rightly jump off the nearst cliff. I have no interest in seeing the third installment – American Wedding – when it comes out on Friday. I think it’s a cheap grab at more money by forcing these “BIG LIFE EVENTS” into the plot. I have more to say about it, but I’m saving it for Friday. I have another American Pie diss on deck.
Never the less, I’m sure Cami will drag me to see it. She’ll claim it’s curiosity, but why lie? Her high school experience was much more enlightened and satisfying than mine.
I can’t complain too much about high school. After all, it is where I met Cami. But so much of high school was just mental debris. I wish I could brush away the bad stuff and focus on the good, but I’m much more effective at that in the present.
Some parts of your past should remain ignored.
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Aug01
Alright, it’s the first of the month, and I want to put this up front and center:
PLEASE VOTE FOR THEATER HOPPER AT TOP WEB COMICS!
Last month, we climbed all the way up to number 11 and we were within a handful of votes to the Top 10. Let’s see if this month we can actually do it. I know you have it in you. As a matter of fact, why don’t you click that link above you right now and take care of it before finishing the blog. That’s it. Thanks.
To help increase our odds of crakcing the Top 10, don’t forget to come back on Saturday and Sunday to vote again. I would really appreciate it. Thank you for your support.
Anyway, onto the movies!…
So I’m taking another dig at American Wedding and what of it? Frankly, I think it’s one big gimmick that they’ve made a wedding between two of the characters the “finale” (yeah, right) of the franchise. It’s like something a soap opera would do – a cheap grab for attention to boost ratings. Or, in this case, ticket sales.
I got a lot of interesting feedback from Wednesday’s strip. There were several supportive e-mails telling me I nailed what high school is really about. I even got an e-mail from a guy who went to school with American Pie screenwriter Adam Hertz. He said apparently a lot of stuff in the first movie was true (excluding the pie) and that he hated high school, too.
There were some people who took me to task for my insecurities – basically attacking a movie for rekindling grudges. That’s fine. I just make the point that if you ever break up with someone and you hear a song on the radio that reminds you of them, chances are you aren’t interested in listening to that song over and over again.
Probably the weirdest reactions I got regarded the comments I made about lacrosse. Several people told me that where they’re from, it’s a big deal. Even a few people said their high schools didn’t have a football team, but had a lacrosse team. I guess it must be an east coast thing…
Frankly, none of this has changed my opinions about high school or the franchise. I still hate both as much as ever.
The sad thing is, I’ll probably go to American Wedding tonight. Cami is really interested in seeing it, and we haven’t been to the movies in a while, so I’ll probably just bite the bullet and go. I’ve got my fingers crossed, hoping it’s somewhat tolerable. Even though it’s cheap, the wedding gimmick might play closer to home for me. THAT was an event in my personal life I happened to enjoy a great deal, and don’t mind reminiscing over. I’m older, the characters are older. Maybe this time things will be different…
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On paper, there doesn’t sound like there’s much substance to Goon. Sean Williams Scott plays a bit of a meat head who feels like an outsider in his family of intellectuals. He ends up becoming an enforcer for a minor league hockey team and finds success redemption.
But there’s something about Scott that I like when he’s playing the underdog. I certainly find him much more layered an interesting than when he’s playing a character with a chip on his shoulder like Stiffler from the American Pie franchise. Certainly I enjoy him much more than that action-hero phase he went through a couple of years ago.
I think there’s a reason that Scott continues to find steady work while the rest of his American Pie contemporaries have languished (paging Jason Biggs!) and it’s because there is depth to him as an individual and as a performer.
It’s said that celebrities are just playing a larger version of themselves. Think about Tom Cruise or Will Smith. I think Scott has the potential to be that if he wants to. He just needs to figure out a way to let audiences see more of who he is.
Watch the trailer for Goon and tell me if you agree.
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