Posts Tagged ‘Die Hard’

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THE PLANET OF LONELY HOUSEWIVES

by Tom on May 6, 2009 at 12:00 am
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(47 votes, average: 6.89 out of 10)
Star Trek, reboot, not your father's, Die Hard, Rambo, aging, Captain James T. Kirk, Scotty, Viagra
Vote for Theater Hopper at Top Web Comics

Would anyone be surprised to find out that Captain Kirk was a Viagra fiend? Not me. In fact, I'm pretty sure he'd go on some elaborate adventure and time-travel back to the 20th century to make sure it's been invented.

He's a horn dog, is what I'm saying.

But what will Viagra be like in the 23rd Century? Vote for Theater Hopper at Top Web Comics for an incentive sketch that explores this vital issue!

Star Trek comes out this weekend and I'd say I'm excited for it. I was never that big of a fan of the original series, though. I mean, I liked the actors and I LOVE the characters. But the low production value of those shows from the 60's leaves me cold. I liked the movies a lot, though. Obviously Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is everyone's favorite ("KHHHHHAAAAAAAAAN!"). But I also really like Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.

Despite the fact that I've seen nearly every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, probably 85% of Star Trek: Deep Space 9 and most of Star Trek: Voyager and Star Trek: Enterprise, I don't really consider myself "a trekker." I really think of myself more as a Star Wars nerd.

I think it depends on which franchise got to you first. I was born in 1977. I'm in the sweet-spot when it comes to the influence of Star Wars. I wasn't introduced to Star Trek until I was in high school and was looking for an excuse to stay up late while waiting for Late Night with Conan O'Brien to come on. Where I lived, The Next Generation was running in syndication at 10:30 at night. It worked out perfectly because it got me hooked.

I know that there are some hard-core trekkers who are concerned about this reboot with a younger cast. I can understand why. I mean, the first Star Trek probably had a perfect cast. Certainly Shatner and Nimoy were a pairing for the ages.

But of all the franchises that have been rebooted in the last few years - Batman, James Bond, Hulk, Punisher - it was probably Star Trek that needed it most of all.

I think this film is probably the antithesis of X-Men Origins: Wolverine in terms of building positive buzz and anticipation. Whereas X-Men Origins: Wolverine was like a awkward teenager trying desperately to get you to like them (advertising for more than a year, a million clips and commercials, gimmicky alternate endings shipped to different theaters), Star Trek has been playing it close to the vest.

Whereas I felt I knew everything about X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I feel like I know next to nothing about what Star Trek is going to give us.

From the trailers, I can tell that this version of James T. Kirk is more cocky than the original. Maybe even somewhat of a problem child. I know the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise looks like an Apple store and I know Eric Bana's character is bald. Beyond that, all I know is that there appears to be a lot of lens flares in space.

But plot-wise? No idea. And I like it that way.

I'll probably have more to say about Star Trek with Friday's comic. So, to keep you entertained in the meantime, please enjoy these video remixes from Star Trek: The Next Generation. There's a guy on YouTube who has put together nearly two dozen of these and they're hilarious! Enjoy!

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ACTION EGG-VENTURE

by Tom on March 24, 2008 at 12:59 pm
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(14 votes, average: 9.14 out of 10)
Easter, holiday, Easter Bunny, Die Hard, parody

I was at a complete loss for what I was going to do for today's comic. None of the recent crop nor forthcoming releases have inspired me to make satire.

So I retired to my "thinking room" and spent a little time pondering the subject of Easter movies. There really aren't any. I don't know that there SHOULD be any. I just noticed there aren't any. And, thus, a comic was born.

I guess my mind wandered onto the topic because as we were leaving our house to have Easter lunch with my family, I noticed dozens upon dozens of cars parked near the two large churches near our house. They were everywhere. Parked on the street, parked in the lots of nearby businesses. It's never this busy. Not on an average Sunday.

So Easter is one of those big church-going holidays and - conceivably - families will then depart to participate in Easter egg hunts, eat ham and chocolate bunnies and whatever else odd traditions have emerged from this holiday.

The point I'm making is that the holiday is a gathering of sorts - of community, of family.

So why aren't there very many movies that speak to this?

Think about all of the Thanksgiving movies out there. You know the basic outline. The family black sheep returns home for the holidays, everyone is stressed out, comedy ensues. You could easily transpose that formula onto Easter gatherings.

I mean, okay... so Easter probably isn't a big travel day. And it's not like people are given days off from work so they can go be with their families on Easter, or whatever. But you get the gist.

For those of you complaining that it's too secular, explain all the Christmas movies out there. Most of them are more about Santa or gift-giving than the actual holiday and Easter is complete with it's own set of bizarre traditions. So religious persuasion really isn't a factor.

All I know is that every year ABC plays The Ten Commandments around Easter and I can't figure out why. What does Old Testament Bible have to do with New Testament death and resurrection of Jesus? Or did someone lose a bet to Charlton Heston?

I could be completely talking out of my rear end because - admittedly - I'm not a big church goer, I don't understand the Easter tradition... It's just always been something we've done as a family. I can't imagine I'm the only one in this boat?

What do you think? Why do you suppose there are no great Easter movies out there? Or maybe there are tons and I'm missing out? Let me know!

Last bit of business, don't forget to check out The Triple Feature podcast tonight over at TalkShoe at 9:00 PM CST. I don't know what we're talking about since I missed last week's show, but I'm sure it will be enlightening. How is that for an endorsement?

Sorry, I feel a little scatterbrained. I'm starting a new job today, so I'm mostly focused on that. But I'll try to have it put together by tonight's show.

See you there!

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