Posts Tagged ‘remake’
16 items.
Today’s strip has to do with a little bit of industry news. If you haven’t heard by now, Peter Jackson, the director of The Lord of the Rings trilogy has signed on with Universal to do a remake of the 1933 classic King Kong. For more details on the story, read this item here.
To be fair, this odd choice for a follow-up project didn’t completely come out of nowhere. King Kong is a project that has been on Jackson’s back burner since 1997 when it was shelved by Universal so as not to compete with Disney’s Mighty Joe Young or Sony’s Godzilla rehash.
I don’t doubt that Jackson will make an excellent movie. And if he’s got his LotR W.E.T.A team behind him (which looks likely), I’m sure the effects will be astounding.
But still, don’t you think you would take a little time off before trying to update one of the most beloved monster movies in cinematic history. I mean, if they screw this up, that’s a pretty big strike against him. Does anyone remember the 1976 version starring Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange? Okay. Well, maybe you do. But do you think anyone was standing around ASKING for that picture to be made?
With that out of the way, I wanted to move on to some business involving the site. Recently there’s been an influx of fan art and cameo appearances that you can check out in full detail on the Bonus Materials page.
I mentioned how Aric from Fish Strips is putting together an epic storyline featuring a lot of my pals in the community, but Beaner from Troy’s Bucket must have been sweating bullets when he put together this bad boy featuring over cameo appearances
I want to send a special shout out to my good friend Dave (just Dave) who put together a killer guest strip a few weeks ago. Dave contacted me to let me know that he has just started his own strip called Taking the Bi-Pass. He has only the first strip up right now, but take my word for it, this is one you’re going to want to bookmark and check often. If you don’t believe me, check out his extra bit of fan art that picks up where his guest strip left off!
The last bit of news I’ll mention is the rather grim message that was left over at No Pants Tuesday yesterday. Visitors to Zach’s site were led to believe he had died due to choking on a pizza roll. I would call everyone’s attention to yesterday’s date and give Zach a hearty pat on the shoulder.
…you know. To dislodge that pizza roll…
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As I mentioned in Monday’s comic, Cami and I went to The Longest Yard on Friday and were thoroughly underwhelmed. What can I say? As a former member of The Cult of Sander, Cami drags me to all these things – even when it involves football.
I should have known we were in trouble when three men in their 40’s – clearly off their leash and outside of their wives supervision – tumbled into the theater, chattering like monkey and sitting right behind us.
I envisioned them as old fraternity brothers who were fans of the 1974 Burt Reynolds original, looking to capture a little nostalgia and relive the glory days.
If ∗I∗ was disapointed by this piece of tripe, imagine how THOSE guys felt!
The original movie had a great “middle-finger-in-the-face-of-authority” vibe in the time of Nixon-era politics. It spoke with a mischievous grin toward the roles of the jailed and the jailer. At the risk of making a political statement, there is a segment of the country that harbors similar animosities toward the current administration and it’s policies. Or at least one can draw similar parallels. The remake totally misses it’s opportunity to reflect this undercurrent and becomes totally toothless in the process.
Adam Sandler – doughy and laconic, as usual – looks nothing like a hard-nosed former NFL quarterback. He barely looks capable of stealing a Snickers bar, let alone stand accused of a felony on the scale of point-shaving.
Sandler tries to bring his trademark goofy charm to the role and it’s totally the wrong fit. If Sandler were REALLY in a prison as tough as the movie would lead us to believe, inmates would start trading him for cigarettes before he’s ever introduced to his cell.
When the success of the movie is held together by the illusion that the lead character is smart, tough and dangerous – Adam Sandler is not the man to call.
Chris Rock is the other big name in the picture, but he brings very little to his role as Caretaker. Essentially, he spouts a bunch of recycled jokes from his stand-up routine. Typical commentaries about race that are far too glib for the bleak environment he’s supposed to be inhabiting. How can anyone be THIS HAPPY to be in prison?
The rest of the cast is rounded out by a small army of former athletes. There are some ex-NFL players like Brian Bosworth and Bill Romanowski, but most of the speaking roles are given to ex-“professional” wrestles like Kevin Nash, Bill Goldberg and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. I guess whatever it takes to rope in the redneck demographic.
When the original used the idea of casting athletes, their raw presence and limited acting skills actually lent them credibility as prison inmates. By giving most of the dialogue to former pro wrestlers, you’re inviting hammy over-acting that is totally distracting. For example, like when the inmates switch out Kevin Nash’s steroids for estrogen pills and he acts like a hyperventilating female stereotype for the last 20 minutes of the film.
There are a few actors with some genuine talent in the film, but are totally wasted. Cloris Leachman’s comedic timing is completely squandered as she’s forced to play an undersexed septuagenarian receptionist. We don’t spend enough time with William Fichtner’s Captain Knauer to recognize him as a real threat. And James Cromwell’s Warden Hazen is given so little to do, he comes off looking like a buffoon rather than a worth villain.
Some casting choices are totally pointless. Rapper Nelly is thrown in the mix because… y’know! He’s a rapper! And kids love rappers! Oh, does he have a chart-topping hit on the soundtrack as well? Get that man some cleats!
Of course the star of the original picture, Burt Reynolds, is given a perfunctory role as “the grizzled old vet” in a hollow gesture meant to show respect to 1974 classic. Instead, Reynolds comes off more like he’s keeping watch to make sure Sandler doesn’t royaly screw up one of his trademark roles. Although his performance is one of the least grating, mission failed, Burt. Mission failed.
What is most annoying about the film is its complete disinterest in its setting. This is a Texas prison, people. Shouldn’t life be somewhat… I dunno, OPPRESSIVE?!
Aside from a brief montage of Sandler sweating it out in a tin hot box, the location is barely menacing and the guards little more than petty annoyances – not real physical threats. In fact, it seems like the prisoners pretty much have the run of the joint. There isn’t a scene where there aren’t at least 3 dozen extras milling around in the yard. Do these guys spend any time in their cells? Why is there this compulsory need to “get even with the guards” when it seems like the inmates get by pretty easy. Belive me – if you’re biggest inconvienance is having “Stone Cold” Steve Austin tip over a couple of books you’re trying to put away in the prision library, then prisonlife isn’t that bad. I’m surprised there aren’t physical therapists on staff for the prisoners after their scrimmages!
Even though the original was layered and engrossing, somehow the remake barely has enough content to pad an average-length sitcom. And although I’m aware the conclusion of the original was a 45 minute football game, things feel ponderously slow when they try to do the same thing here.
Game play is stretched out when director Peter Segal cuts away to Rob Schneider shouting his signature catchphrase “Yuuuu can doooo eeet!” which has become the tradition in Sandler films you most look forward to loathing.
There’s also a little too much leering attention given to Tracy Morgan and his squad of transvestite cheerleaders. The joke is kinda funny once, but why does Segal keep cutting back to them in between plays like they’re REAL cheerleaders? Quite honestly, I don’t need to see Tracy Morgan in hot pants any longer than two seconds maximum.
The Longest Yard is a terrible, TERRIBLE movie. Don’t waste your eight bucks on this one. Do yourself a favor and rent the original. While you’re at it, you might as well rent North Dallas Forty. You’ll get five times the entertainment value for the same amount of money.
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I think it has become Billy Bob Thorton’s goal in life to take only acting roles where he gets to swear at children.
Why not? He’s kind of cultivated this skeezer persona off-screen? What with the Angelina Jolie, blood in a vial around the neck antics.
Or maybe Angelina was just a bad influence. Who can say?
I’m giving Billy Bob some crap, but actually, I’m very fond of him as an actor. By-in-large, I think he does good work. But you can’t deny the comparisons in his performance as the beer-guzzlin’ Morris Buttermaker (made famous by Walter Matthau in the original Bad News Bears) to his performance as Willie in Bad Santa.
Well, except maybe he plays Buttermaker a little less angry. But still, things don’t bode well when both movies share the same screenwriters in Glenn Ficarra and John Requa. So, in that way, they’re not just remaking one movie, but two at the same time! How’s that for Hollywood efficiency?!
I really have no interest in seeing this version. From the reviews I’ve read, director Richard Linklater copied from the source material almost to the letter. Everything from the girl pitcher with the killer arm to a foul-mouthed runt on the team. Except this time, now there’s a kid in a wheelchair.
Or is there a book version of The Bad News Bears that I haven’t read and the wheelchair kid was in there? Can never be too sure these days! Hate to be called out for my ignorance!
At any rate, I’m just hoping Linklater’s quasi-animated take on Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly turns out better when it’s released next year. I was in awe of Waking Life, and the same rotoscoping animation techniques will be used here as well.
But who knows. Most Phillip K. Dick adaptations often don’t survive the translation to screen. And since Keanu Reeves is in both this movie and another Phillip K. Dick box office dud – Johnny Mnemonic – my attitude is “wait and see.”
Did you enjoy that little tangent I took you on? I hope so, because now I am tired and need to stop blogging.
Talk to you soon.
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Wouldn’t you know it? Just as soon as I sit down and invest a bunch of time into drawing a strip about Steven Spielberg directing a remake of Mary Poppins, a spokesperson for the director has to come forward and squash the rumor.
Here’s how it all went down according to the Internet Movie Database’s Movie News page:
Spielberg Quashes ‘Mary Poppins’ Rumors
Steven Spielberg has played down rumours he is planning to remake Mary Poppins. The Saving Private Ryan director was linked to the project by Sir Richard Eyre, the director of the London stage show of Mary Poppins. He said, "Spielberg wants to make a new film of Mary Poppins and we’ve talked about it a lot. "It will be hard to outdo the original but kids love the story and I’m sure that the remake will be a real success." But Spielberg’s representative Marvin Levy counters, "I never heard of this and couldn’t imagine Steven ever doing a remake of a classic – and a (Walt Disney) classic at that. "There’s a Broadway show from Disney but nothing involving us in any way."
This always happens. Go to the trouble of spoofing a Wizard of Oz sequel starring Drew Barrymore? Talks fizzle out. Quentin Tarantino might direct the next installment in the Friday the 13th franchise? Nope. He says that was never going to happen.
So, are there any projects in the pipeline that you guys want me to put a stop to? Because I’ll do a comic about it and that’ll be all she wrote!
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Why the thought of Mary Poppins being bitten in half by a ferocious Tyrannasourous Rex would bring a smile to a sleeping Tom’s face, we may never know. Maybe he dreams of dinosaurs?
For what it’s worth, I think today’s incentive sketch turned out really sharp. Almost like a textbook reference, isn’t it? I’m also really pleased with how the Tyrannasourous Rex turned out in the third panel. I was a little scared to attempt a rendering that was an action shot. It’s been a while since I’ve try to draw something like that.
Honestly, though… what up and coming artist didn’t cut their teeth drawing a million dinosaurs growing up? I don’t know you about you, but I was facinated by the beasties. I used to love the Stegosaurous. And when Transformers came out with the Dinobots, I wasn’t in love with Grimlock like everyone else. Snarl was my man! Stego-Powah!
So is Steven Spielberg really chomping at the bit to do a remake of Mary Poppins? Would I lie to you? Apparently there has been a West End revival of the original musical in London and it’s been selling out since it opened in December of 2004. Spielberg wants to remake THIS version. Not the Disney version with Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke and the dancing animated penguins.
Having not seen the London revival, I can’t judge whether this is a good idea or not. The plan is to bring the stage show to Broadway sometime this year. But I think it’s become newsworthy because Spielberg appears to be an unlikely fit. Especially when he dipped into similar territory with Hook and the Peter Pan mythos and came up empty handed.
Some people are impressed by Spielberg’s ability to alternate popcorn blockbusters with personal and poignant films. For every Jurassic Park, there is a Schindler’s List. For every War of the Worlds, there is a Munich.
I suppose it’s a smart strategy, but I count myself in the vocal minority that wishes sometimes that Spielberg would hang up the childish trappings and deliver more art. He obviously has the chops for it. Maybe he finds it displeasing. Maybe a film like Saving Priviate Ryan is made for guilty reasons. Or perhaps he makes films like Minority Report to retain clout in Hollywood. The further he goes, the more I wonder "Which filmmaker is the REAL Steven Spielberg?"
Or maybe at this stage of the game, keeping us guessing is his next deft move.
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I couldn’t really think of a concept for incentive artwork that matched today’s comic. Plus, yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday and I kind of had to slap this comic together late in the evening. Can you tell?
At any rate, I thought I would share with you some artwork that is maybe… 80% complete. It’s a new t-shirt design that I’m putting together that features Truman. It’s a parody of the MGM Studios title card. You know the one with the lion inside a circle of film? Anyway, I hope to have that for sale along with another design very soon.
Speaking of shirts, everyone needs to know that today is the LAST DAY to take advantage of our sale going on in the store. All t-shirts are $9.99 and all baby-doll tees are $14.99. We sold our last hoodie, thank goodness. So those are off the market now.
The sale will conclude at 11:59 PM tonight, so this is your last chance to take advantage of prices you’ll likely not see again anytime soon!
In regards to the comic, I don’t knoy if any of you guys saw When A Stranger Calls this weekend. I guess it did pretty well at the box office – $22 million. I have no need to see it. I’m not a big fan of horror in the first place. But if you catch me and my mood is right, I’ll watch it. That said, I don’t know if the producers did themselves any favors by dumbing things down to get a PG-13 rating. I could be wrong. If you saw it, let us know about it in the THorum.
I don’t mean to be cruel regarding Camilla Belle’s eyebrows. Truthfully, she’s very attractive. There’s nothing wrong with them. I’m not trying to shoehorn her into some standardized conceptualization of beauty.
However, at the same time, it’s a distinctive look. It’s certainly the first thing I noticed about the trailers for the movie and the commercials that ran on TV. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Take a look!
I think that eybrow is thicker than my pinky finger!
Okay, okay. I’m being cruel again. Sorry, Camilla!
Let’s just rack it up as another example of Theater Hopper’s committment to eyebrow-related entertainment.
Cheers!
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I was kind of non-plussed by my own efforts back at the drawing booth on Monday. So for today’s comic, I tried to do something a little more dynamic. Kind of funny how often the end of the world seems to occur in this comic…
Despite the excellent trailer with the supurb art direction, I won’t be lured by the siren’s song of The Omen. I’ll carefully protect my movie-going dollar from this abomination.
Reviews coming back say that this remake is almost a shot-by-shot reproduction of the original. Only societial tweaks like cell phones and therapy have been added to the 1976 original.
I look at the ads for The Omen and can only imagine some marketing representative at Fox balancing his pencil on the end of his nose before stumbling onto the idea of releasing a movie on "6/6/06."
"The Omen!" he stammers. "It’s perfect!"
To me, it’s a blatant money grab. Was anyone standing around saying "Gee, The Omen is a great horror movie and all, but Gregory Peck just doesn’t do it for me. They should remake it and have Liev Schreiber instead!"
You see what I mean.
That’s it for the moment. I’ll be back later in the day to talk about you know what…
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My puzzlement regarding the big-screen adaptation of Miami Vice is sincere. Why, of all people, Michael Mann would choose to direct it is beyond me.
I suppose there was a time when television properties were being remade for theaters. Typically light comedy fair like The Brady Bunch or The Beverly Hillbillies. You saw a swing into action with movies like S.W.A.T. and Serenity – which, admitedly, weren’t bad. Actually, they were both a marked improvement over the source material.
But to remake Miami Vice? Not only have they overshot the mark on translating television properties to movies, but it’s like a time capsule of fetid pop culture ugliness that no one wants to open. Miami Vice is a big, glaring becon of the 80’s only claim to fame – style over substance and egocentrism as a substitute for sexual appeal.
Who is demanding to see this movie? People who used to be cool in the ’80’s and want to revisit their glory days, that’s who. The people in between the marketing crosshairs of this movie are a very thing herd. I sincerely doubt it’s going to connect with modern audiences.
Do you want to TOTALLY superficial reasons not to see this movie? 1). Colin Ferrell’s mullet and porn moustache and 2). Jamie Foxx’s ever-inflating ego – which is now in direct competition with the Great Wall of China for the most easily recognizable man-made structure visible from space.
There. Are we happy now? Can we finally put a nail is 1980’s nostalgia? I think a "gritty" Michael Mann remake of Miami Vice means we have officially jumped the shark.
Abruptly changing gears, I want to draw your attention to a few other fabulous sites on the web to further distract you from your responsibilities and get you in trouble.
My good friend Joe Dunn got married over the weekend and is currently on his honeymoon. So, as a wedding present of sorts, I did a guest strip for him over at Joe Loves Crappy Movies. It went up on Monday and you can check it out here.
I wasn’t exactly prompt about sharing the link when the comic went up because I was embarassed about all the nice things Joe said about me. He cites me as an inspiration, but truthfully, it’s the other way around. I think Joe is a cartooning dynamo and I respect him immenesely. I can’t tell you how many of his comics I have read and said "Damn! I wish I had come up with that!" I’m thankful for talents like Joe to brush shoulders with. It makes me step up my game and makes me want to do better. It’ll be a hoot to hang out with him and the rest of the Digital Pimp Online crew next week at Wizard World Chicago.
Incidentally, you can find me at booth #3134 A at Artist’s Alley so please come and visit. I’ll have books and shirts for sale and I’ll be doing sketches for free. And when you’re done talking to me, you can talk to Joe. Because he has the booth right next to me.
Something else I should mention is my presentation of "Outstanding Comic" for the 2006 Web Comics Choice Awards. I think I mentioned it last week, but I believe there was some kind of problem uploading the ceremony to the servers. They accidentally announced all of the winners and I don’t know if everyone got to see all of the ceremoney comics that people worked on!
At any rate, you can find them here. Mine is kind of close to the top. It was fun to put together and I wanted you to check it out if you hadn’t seen it yet.
Aburptly chaning gears again, something I’ve been a little negligent on lately is telling you guys about all the great sponsors that are currently running ads with Theater Hopper. No, I’m not talking about those big banners on the top and on the side. I’m talking about the itty-bitty 88 x 33 banners directly above this-here blog.
First up is Brinkerhoff. It’s kind of complicated to describe, but it’s basically about a bunny that’s been divorced and what he does with his life after that. Doesn’t sound like a great place to mine comedy from, but creator Gabe Strine makes it happen.
Next is No Offense Taken. I’m struggling to find a description for you, but I like this comic a lot. Kind of random in a way. Maybe that’s why I can find a theme. But I think you should check it out. I’m certainly you’ll find something you like!
Silent Kimbly is a wonderful fantasy-like comic from the mind of Ryan Sias. The jokes are really more visual twists on common phrases, but that’s not the appeal of the comic. Really, it’s to check out Ryan’s beautiful illustrative style, whimsical designs and candy-rich colors. Check this out. It’s adorable and you’ll love it. I promise.
Grumps is a totally unique premise for a comic about a bunch of old farts in a retirement community. Web comics are often about to a youth market, so this is a brilliant play against expectations. The art looks like animation-level quality and the site design is really sharp, too. I’m trying to figure out if there is anything I can steal from creator Chris Jones’s layout.
Lethal Entertainment is an eBay store featuring the very best in horror, sci-fi and fantasy DVDs. If there is something unique that you’re looking for, odds are Leathal Entertainment has it and at a fair price!
Finally, I bring you Alien Loves Predator. Wedged somewhere between the brilliance of Twisted Toyfare Theater and Robot Chicken, creator Bernie Hou took the idea of posing action figures and made a brilliant web comic out of it.
And every day I’m incredibly jealous I didn’t think of it first.
Visit the site and catch up on the adventures of the two most unlikely roommates in all of New York City.
That does it for the sponosors currently running on the site. If you would like to see your site featured, pelase advertise with us. Currently is $10 for 30 days of coverage. That’s a pretty good deal and if you’re an up-and-commer, it’s a good way to get exposure for your site on the cheap!
Beyond that, I want to remind everyone that our sale on all t-shirts is still going on. You can still get yours for $9.99 until July 31. Some of you have already bought your shrits and are waiting for them. Good news, because I just mailed out a ton of them last week.
I also want to remind you about the Theater Hopper book – which I now have back from the printer and will be shipping out soon. I have about 100 pre-orders to take care of, so that’s going to keep me busy. But since it’s just me on the distribution end, I tend to do things in large bundles. So if you haven’t bought a copy yet, now is a good time because I toss your shipment in with the others! Order yours today!
Still here? I applaude your intestinal fortitude, but I have nothing left for you.
Thanks for stopping by!
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I think any movie fan worth their salt is familiar with Movie Law #948: Sean Bean Dies In Every Movie He’s In. I don’t care if the punchline of this strip falls a little flat. I just feel better broadcasting Movie Law #948 to the world so that we may all recognize it an celebrate it.
Of course there is a web site dedicated to all things Sean Bean and it keeps a running tally of the movies in which he bites it and the movies where he lives to see another day. For a career as long and varied as Bean’s, his batting average of deaths-per-film isn’t as high as you might expect. But it seems idiosyncratic that the more high-profile Bean becomes, the more often he dies on screen. I was almost tempted to make a chart.
Almost.
You have to wonder if it’s some kind of movie star reverse psychology. Kind of like how Tom Cruise or Johnny Depp almost pathologically INSIST on having their good looks mangled for their performances, perhaps Bean’s commitment to a perpetual on-screen demise is his way to make the audience invest in his work – make people care about him more? Who is this man who insists on dying in every single movie? Can I join his fan club? Is there a mailing list?"
Incidentally, Sean Bean and The Hitcher were topics discussed between myself Joe Dunn from Joe Loves Crappy Movies and Goron McAlpin from Multiplex in our weekly talkcast The Triple Feature on Monday night. If you missed it, you can download a copy of the broadcast from iTunes and listen to it in your free time. It’s only an hour long. Listen to it while you’re folding laundry.
In addition to The Hitcher, we also talked about Mike Judge’s Idiocracy and the career of Wes Anderson. We also discussed Monday night’s broadcast of The Golden Globes and I totally predicted Babel winning Best Motion Picture – Drama moments before it happened. That’s a feather in my cap. It was particularly funny because right before they read the winner, Joe said Babel was the one film he knew WOULDN’T win. Just goes to show who you should talk to about picking your lottery numbers!
There wasn’t really anything during the broadcast which surprised me except Forest Whitaker winning for The Last King of Scotland. I’m a big Forest Whitaker fan, but I’m not used to him winning anything. Beyond that, several safe choices. Could mean that we’re in for a very boring Oscar telecast this year. We’ll see.
The one thing I thought was kind of shocking reading all the awards show recaps was the subtle level of outrage and shock that Cars won Best Animated Feature. When your competition is Happy Feet and Monster House, what do you expect? I mean Monster House was good. Really good, in fact. But it’s not "Best" anything material. Pixar has shored up so much positive collateral, they can nearly do no wrong. Was Cars the best movie Pixar every produces. Plainly, no. But it’s still a heck of a lot better than Happy Feet.
Was there anything from The Golden Globes this week that surprised you? Any of your favorite movies or performers you feel were robbed? Leave your comments!
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Sorry I didn’t have another Grindhouse comic for you guys today. But I think I ran through all of my ideas last week! Didn’t get a chance to see it and it doesn’t look like that many of you guys did, either! A disappointing fourth place take this weekend at the box office. Surprising, for one of the most heavily-hyped films of the year. No so surprising within the context of a major Christian holiday weekend. Whoops!
If you saw Grindhouse this weekend, leave your comments after the blog. I’d love to hear what you thought! Sounds like people are really responding to the ending in Tarantino’s Death Proof. Don’t spoil it – but what did you think?
I’m sure Gordon, Joe and I will talking about Grindhouse and it’s impact (or lack thereof) up and down The Triple Feature talkcast tonight at 9:00 PM CST. If you have the druthers, join us over at TalkShoe while we take your calls and answer your questions. What went wrong? What went RIGHT?! Listen in tonight at 9:00 PM CST for the answers!
Disturbia starring Shia LaBeouf comes out this weekend and I know people who are genuinely excited to see it. To them I say “Good for you?”
Look, don’t kid yourselves. This is a total rip off of Rear Window. I’m not saying Hitchcock got their first with stories about voyeurs seeing things they aren’t supposed to see. But he did it best. CERTAINLY one of the best suspense films of all time, completely bastardized by filmmakers who are going to ratchet up the gore, throw in some lame T&A and occasionally have David Morse jump out of the shadows at you. This is Rear Window without a brain.
One of the best decisions Hitchcock ever made was to handicap Jimmy Stuart’s character with a broken leg. Smarter still, he doesn’t leave his apartment to confront the murderer until he absolutely has to – and even then, it’s for something like 5 minutes.
Disturbia tries to leverage something similar by putting their teenage protagonist under house arrest. They did this in a effort to make him edgy, I guess. Too far out of bounds and the cops come to haul our little punk to the pokey. Sure. Like that’s stopped anyone. Or like cops have nothing better to do than to patrol lazy suburban confines for the errant house arrest escapee.
Everything about the trailers for this movie make me want to retch. From the blood splatter across windows and torture implements in the basement, to the too-cute punny title, to the over-earnestness of Shia LeBeouf begging to be taken seriously as a dramatic actor, this film reeks of cheap tricks and imitation.
Do yourselves a favor – instead of seeing Disturbia this weekend, rent Rear Window and see how it’s done. You can keep your MTV and your fancy iPoo-poos! I’ll take the classics!
That is all!
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