Archive for December, 2005
19 items.
Okay, first things first!
- I am currently acutioning off some Theater Hopper #500-related artwork. The auction ends next Wednesday, so be sure to get your bids in now!
- get your bids in now!
- The archives are now SEARCHABLE! Enjoy this bounty!
- We have a brand-new movie review database where you can leave your thoughts on every movie Theater Hopper has ever spoofed. We’re adding movies into it all the time, so check back often for films to rank and comment on!
Now, where were we?
You don’t think our new buddy Victor actually cut off someone’s arm, do you? No way, man. It’s just an exaggeration. Or is it?
Victor is a brand new character added to the Theater Hopper mythos, so get used to seeing his face around the movie theater. It’s been a little while since I added someone new. I tend to do this arround milestone occassions.
One thing I’ve always felt was lacking in the Theater Hopper universe is a source of conflict to draw drama from. I tried to go that route when I introduced Charlie back in the day. But I didn’t think far enough in advance. So instead of making her a villian, she became merely misunderstood. There have been times that I’ve wanted to write her as the stone-cold b*tch I originally envisioned her as, but at this point it would see too far out of character. I still don’t know if I’ve developed her personality to the point where you can say "That’s Charlie. That’s what she’s about." So for the moment, she’s pretty much a gal-pal for Cami to hang around with.
Victor on the other hand is unrepentantly evil and I have no plans for watering him down. I just think it’s hilarious to create a Ukrainian movie theater floor manager who takes his job to a serious extreme. I mean, I think we’ve all had that co-worker who was ruthlessly efficient or maybe looked down their nose at you like you weren’t working as hard as they were. Victor is that guy times a thousand. I’ve already come up with a bunch of fun scenarios to use him in. He’s the perfect antithesis to Jimmy’s cheery optimisim. Every encounter the other characters have with this guy is going to be a living hell.
I have a mini story-line set up to introduce Victor a little bit more. Don’t worry – I’m not going to stretch this one out into some crazy multi-week arc. It’ll be short and to the point. He’s evil. What more do you need to know?!
No movie plans this weekend. There’s nothing much in theaters I care to see. Cami’s been advocating Pride & Prejudice for the last few weeks, but I’ve been dragging my heels. Now it looks like she’ll be going with a friend on Sunday and leaving me in the dust. I’m sorry, but in my mind, Colin Firth is the definative Mr. Darcy!
Aeon Flux comes out today and I can’t really bring myself to care. I used to love the cartoon shorts where Aeon died every episode back when it was broadcast on MTV’s Liquid Television. I had a harder time following the weekly half-hour series she had not long after that. What’s the point of seeing a live-action version when the original was so trippy and surreal? I’m a big sci-fi fan, but I’m having trouble seeing how the director of Girlfight could translate the property to the big sceen. And with Charlize Theron as Flux… well, that seems to be Halle Berry-in-Catwoman-level bad decision making.
What is up with all these actresses who win Oscars and then immediately turn around and do action films? What is the logic there? "I’ve been recognized by my peers and I’m being taken seriously in the industry! For my next film, I’m gonna play a superhero!"
Think I’m being too harsh on Aeon Flux? Paramount has elected to cancel all screeners for reviewers. So you guys won’t know if it’s good or bad until Roger Ebert plunks down $9 and sees it on his own time. Instead, they’re flooding the market with ads and crossing their fingers. Not a good sign. Have you been watching television at all lately? Seems like every third commercial is for Flux. I feel like I’ve already seen the movie! If any of you guys decide to see the movie this weekend, you’ll have to let me know about it. But I don’t plan on touching this with a 10 foot pole!
Here’s hoping everyone enjoys their weekend. Don’t forget to place your bid in the auction!ign: left;”>The archives are now SEARCHABLE! Enjoy this bounty!
Now, where were we?
You don’t think our new buddy Victor actually cut off someone’s arm, do you? No way, man. It’s just an exaggeration. Or is it?
Victor is a brand new character added to the Theater Hopper mythos, so get used to seeing his face around the movie theater. It’s been a little while since I added someone new. I tend to do this arround milestone occassions.
One thing I’ve always felt was lacking in the Theater Hopper universe is a source of conflict to draw drama from. I tried to go that route when I introduced Charlie back in the day. But I didn’t think far enough in advance. So instead of making her a villian, she became merely misunderstood. There have been times that I’ve wanted to write her as the stone-cold b*tch I originally envisioned her as, but at this point it would see too far out of character. I still don’t know if I’ve developed her personality to the point where you can say "That’s Charlie. That’s what she’s about." So for the moment, she’s pretty much a gal-pal for Cami to hang around with.
Victor on the other hand is unrepentantly evil and I have no plans for watering him down. I just think it’s hilarious to create a Ukrainian movie theater floor manager who takes his job to a serious extreme. I mean, I think we’ve all had that co-worker who was ruthlessly efficient or maybe looked down their nose at you like you weren’t working as hard as they were. Victor is that guy times a thousand. I’ve already come up with a bunch of fun scenarios to use him in. He’s the perfect antithesis to Jimmy’s cheery optimisim. Every encounter the other characters have with this guy is going to be a living hell.
I have a mini story-line set up to introduce Victor a little bit more. Don’t worry – I’m not going to stretch this one out into some crazy multi-week arc. It’ll be short and to the point. He’s evil. What more do you need to know?!
No movie plans this weekend. There’s nothing much in theaters I care to see. Cami’s been advocating Pride & Prejudice for the last few weeks, but I’ve been dragging my heels. Now it looks like she’ll be going with a friend on Sunday and leaving me in the dust. I’m sorry, but in my mind, Colin Firth is the definative Mr. Darcy!
Aeon Flux comes out today and I can’t really bring myself to care. I used to love the cartoon shorts where Aeon died every episode back when it was broadcast on MTV’s Liquid Television. I had a harder time following the weekly half-hour series she had not long after that. What’s the point of seeing a live-action version when the original was so trippy and surreal? I’m a big sci-fi fan, but I’m having trouble seeing how the director of Girlfight could translate the property to the big sceen. And with Charlize Theron as Flux… well, that seems to be Halle Berry-in-Catwoman-level bad decision making.
What is up with all these actresses who win Oscars and then immediately turn around and do action films? What is the logic there? "I’ve been recognized by my peers and I’m being taken seriously in the industry! For my next film, I’m gonna play a superhero!"
Think I’m being too harsh on Aeon Flux? Paramount has elected to cancel all screeners for reviewers. So you guys won’t know if it’s good or bad until Roger Ebert plunks down $9 and sees it on his own time. Instead, they’re flooding the market with ads and crossing their fingers. Not a good sign. Have you been watching television at all lately? Seems like every third commercial is for Flux. I feel like I’ve already seen the movie! If any of you guys decide to see the movie this weekend, you’ll have to let me know about it. But I don’t plan on touching this with a 10 foot pole!
Here’s hoping everyone enjoys their weekend. Don’t forget to place your bid in the auction!
[ No Comments ]
I was monkeying around with the Theater Hopper map and noticed they had a handy little code application that you guys can click through to access it. I thought I would test it out in this here blog.
[ No Comments ]
Is Victor watching you? You’d better believe it!
Every once in a while, I like to try and spin a strip with as little dialogue as possible. I think this fits the bill. Tom playing off his incarceration as a mix-up when he was clearly about to break the rules regarding theater hopping is a fun stroke of casual denial. Victor wordless reply felt right.
I don’t have a lot to blog about today, so I’ll be sure to remind everyone of the original art auction I have going on over at eBay. To commemorate Theater Hopper’s 500th strip, I drew a large-scale rendering of Tom’s mug shot. It’s in ink on a sheet of 11 x 14" Bristol board and if you’re a fan of the site, I know you’ll get a kick out of owning this piece of original artwork.
Also be sure to check out our new searchable archive. Play with it for a little while. Type in a few keywords and see if you can’t dig out your favorite strip. I’m not really hearing a lot of feedback on this, so I don’t know if this is something you guys are enjoying or if it’s something you felt we should have implemented a long time ago!
I also haven’t heard a lot of feedback about our new movie review database. I think you guys can have a lot of fun with this application. Rate and review every movie Theater Hopper has ever referenced in it’s 500+ strip history!
Okay, I know there aren’t a ton of movie pages out there that you can leave comments on, but I’m working on that. In the meantime, all I ask is that you keep checking in on it. Who knows? The movie you want to dish on might be in there next!
Thought I would mention that I have all of the remaining t-shirt orders packaged up and I’m going to drop those in the mail today. I’ll be honest and say I’m glad to have that behind me. There is still a lot of standing inventory left over that I have to get rid of. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with that yet. I guess hang onto it until I can come up with some new and better designs. Maybe I’ll give them away for prizes or try to sell them at conventions. We’ll see. If anyone knows of any online stores where I might be able to sell off some of my inventory, please e-mail me.
Right now I’m concentrating on three things. 1. Fleshing out the user reviews database. 2. Contemplating a new front page design for the site. 3. Laying out volume one in a three volume series recapping the first year of Theater Hopper. With comic #500 under my belt, I really feel like I can dedicate myself to these three objectives. Wish me luck!
[ No Comments ]
My original draft of this comic had the infant Jared bursting forth from Jennifer Garner’s swollen stomach like the Alien. Y’know… Demon Seed style.
But I opted against it. I thought it was a little crass.
Still, Baby Jared isn’t someone to mess around with. He’s one tough little customer! Koochie-koochie-koo!
You may have read that Mr. and Mrs. Ben Affleck recently celebrated the birth of their first born on December 1 – a baby girl. So it stands to reason that our favorite punching bag might have a little anxiety about the momentous event.
Still, in all seriousness, congratulations to the happy couple. Just because Ben Affleck sucks as an actor doesn’t mean I should begrudge the welcoming of his first child.
I feel like I haven’t had a lot of movie stuff to talk about lately and that makes me kind of sad. Is it weird that it’s almost the end of the year and the only film I’m remotely excited about seeing is King Kong? I mean, Fun With Dick and Jane looks interesting. I heard it was co-written by Judd Apatow, so that’ll get me in the door right there. I’ll see Munich, mostly because I feel like I should. I’m planning on avoiding The Chronicles of Narnia like the plauge.
The only thing that really has me captivated at the moment is the new X-Men 3 teaser trailer.
This kind of caught me be surprise. Because, like any good fanboy, I spent my time hating the idea of an X-Men movie directed by Brett Ratner for so long, I forgot that there might be something worth investigating here.
Some quick thoughts:
Kelsey Grammar as Beast. He looks pretty good. Maybe a little old. A little too fuzzy. But it’s Grammar’s voice and presence that are going to sell this role. Still, I don’t know how they plan on tossing him into any battle sequences. The man is 50 years-old! Maybe they’ll switch him out with a CGI character for the more frenetic stuff.
A character that should have been done totally CGI was Vinnie Jones’s Juggernaut. I’m sorry, but that ultra-buff body suit they have him standing in looks stupid. The Juggernaut is supposed to be 8 feet tall and 5 feet wide. If they could make the Hulk semi-believable in CGI, they could have done the same here. Just stick Vinnie Jones’s head on a digital body and be done with it. That helmet he’s wearing looks dopey, too. I understand that they want to leave the face plate open so you can see the actor emoting, but I much preferred the domed look of the character in the comics. In the movie he looks like and extra from Gladiator.
Good to see Colussus is on the team roster now. You can see him in the background walking with the group in the opening shot. Oh, and eagle-eyed viewers will notice – wait for it – THE FASTBALL SPECIAL! at the end of the trailer.
If you don’t know what The Fastball Special is (and it sounds kind of dirty, now that I think about it), too bad. That’s for comic geeks ONLY. Okay, maybe that’ll make up for the Juggernaut looking stupid.
Other thoughts:
Hugh Jackman is starting to look kind of old to play the non-aging Wolverine.
Halle Berry got a new haircut for Storm! Like I care…
Ben Foster as Angel looks promising. The wings actually look like they should.
Famke Janssen is back from the dead as Phoenix and she appears to have become evil. Okay.
No one passed the note along to James Marsden that his version of Cyclops is the most boring character in the franchise.
Beyond that, nothing much more to say. It’s too bad that they decided to do a movie about "curing" mutants and that there is no sign of the Sentinels. I think movies today need more giant robots.
If you have any opinions about the movie or the teaser, we’re talking about it in the THorum here. Check it out and I’ll catch up with you guys later!
[ No Comments ]
Typically comic-Tom is so much more creative. I don’t know why he didn’t go a little bit further when picking his mutant power.
Even though yesterday’s comic was about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s baby, I took most of the blog to discuss the recently released X-Men 3 teaser trailer. Now I’m in the position of having nothing more to say about it when I actually get around to making a comic that references it directly! I have to plan these things out a little more in advance.
Not much to share, I supposed. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe comes out today. Or, as I like to call it The Chronicles of Narnia: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Embrace The Unfathomably Long Movie Title. Still no plans to see it. The Lion is a metaphor for Jesus Christ, that’s all I need to know. Not to sound ignorant, but I guess I’m already too late.
Brokeback Mountain and Syriana come out today as well. I’ve been kind of pacing back on forth on whether to see either. As the boys from South Park might put it, Brokeback Mountain looks like nothing more than an independent movie about gay cowboys eating pudding. But the more reviews I read, the more it becomes clear that homosexuality has less to do with it than it being a truly heart-wrenching love story. Wanting what we can’t have due to forces beyond our control.
The homosexual theme isn’t what made me wary of the movie, mind you. I think if more movies like this can creep into the mainstream, then that’s a good thing. But the trailer just made it seem so overbearing, it bordered on being gimmicky. "I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU!" I mean, c’mon. I know it’s a love story. I know it’s about tortured passion. But that’s a ham-fisted line in the vein of "You had me at ‘Hello’." A real eye-roller.
Syriana seemed to be a liitle "too political" for it’s own good. I’m a news-junkie as-is, so I’m exposed to a lot of the subject matter it covers on a daily basis anyway. I don’t know at what point the tide started turning for me. I guess reading more reviews! Critics seem to think this is a pretty important film in the sense that it puts serious issues front and center and we don’t see a lot of films like that anymore. I never thought about it that way before, but it’s true. It’s made me curious enough to check it out soon.
Of course both of these movies are awards-contenders. And as the sun sets sooner and the temperature dips below freezing, I am more inclinded to watch "serious" movies in hopes that the mental stimulation inside a toasty warm theater will stave off the winter doldrums for another year.
Got a little poetic on you there, didn’t I?
Anyway, in non-movie news, there will probably be a new front page layout for you guys when you come back to the site on Monday. I’m not doing a site-overhaul, or anything. Just kind of reorganizing elements and trying new things with advertisers. Yup, advertisers. I bet you love to hear that, huh? But it’s actually a serious attempt to parse some of that action back. Or at least integrate it into the site a little less clumsily.
Aren’t you excited to see the results?! I know I am.
Have a great weekend. I’ll see you back here Monday.
[ No Comments ]
Introducing a monkey into the comic kind of feels like a lame way to up our cuteness factor similar to how Diff’rent Strokes brought in that little red-haired kid after Gary Coleman stopped being adorable. But, hey. You try saying "No" to that face.
I haven’t decided if Dewey is going to be a permanent addition or not. I suppose that depends on your reaction to him. For now, he’s serving as a means to an end so that I can talk about King Kong this week.
I’m really excited about Kong opening this Wednesday. Moreso than I’ve been about any other movie opening this season. I’ve been talking a lot about movies with friends recently. Going over the year that was. Most of us agree that 2005 was a pretty dismal year for film. Here’s hoping Kong can send it out on a high note. After all, just like in the movies, you can have two acts that are nothing but crap, but if you can really push it over the top with a great ending, that’s what audiences are gonna remember!
I’ll likely have more to say about Kong as the week – and this storyline – unfolds. So stay tuned for more on that front!
Real quick, something you might have noticed this morning is a change to the front page. I’m experimenting a little bit with my advertising options. Trying to find a way to integrate them more seemlessly into the site. I haven’t decided if I’ve accomplished that or not. That 728 x 90 banner ad above the comic and below the navigation is kind of distracting. But I like the 468 x 60 banner below the comic navigation and above the blog.
I’m trying to find a way to still offer cheap advertising for other web comics and interested parties. I was thinking about somekind of insert within the blog space, but I don’t know what I’ll do yet. We’ll see how the 728 x 90 banner ad at the bottom of the page performs. I might end up placing sponsorship links there.
Or perhaps I’ll place them to the right of the logo and push the navigation down a little bit? I’m really interested in hearing from any past advertisers on your preferences. I’m not married to these 728 x 90 banners. Nothing is set in stone. E-mail me if you have opinions.
Additionally, I’m polling the readership-at-large for advice on what to do with the navigation bar. Links inside colored boxes isn’t working and it doesn’t address the sub-navigation problems I’m sure to encounter on subsequent pages in the archvies. If you have any thoughts on how I could make that a stronger interface for you, please let me know.
I’m taking all kinds of feedback, so let me have it!
Talk to you all again soon!
[ No Comments ]
Is Dewey as sweet and cuddly as he appears? Maybe not…
I don’t know if today’s comic is as funny as it could be on it’s own, but it establishes the direction of the arc. I think you guys will like what I have in store for Dewey in the next couple of days.
If you’re not on board with this one, well, too bad. I’ve been sick since about 11:00 Monday. Throwing up. Multiple bathroom trips. Chills. Fever. The works. I actually took a sick day from work to recouperate. I NEVER do that. I didn’t start feeling better until about 4:00 yesterday afternoon, but my head was still too foggy to come up with anything complex. Oh, well. It’s the destination, not the journey, right? Or have I mixed that up again?
King Kong comes out today. Don’t know if Cami and I will be able to make it out tonight to see it. I know I have some catching up to do on some other household duties since I was out of commission for the last two days. Namely, the two to four inches of snow that dropped on us last night. The driveway won’t shovel itself!
I’m happy to see that Kong is getting mostly positive reviews. In some cases raves! I don’t know why, but for the longest time, it seemed like some of the bigger critics and box office handicappers had it out for this movie to fail. Something about the bloated $200 plus budget, the fact that Peter Jackson’s movie is almost a full hour longer than the original and some even arguing that a remake need not be made at all.
I can see the argument on that last point. Especially when you factor in Gus Van Sant’s shot-by-shot remake of Psycho from a few years back. But by-in-large, I think the nay-sayers wanted to see a little cosmic comeuppance befall Jackson after he won Best Picture and Best Director for Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. I mean, I think we can all be honest and say that was a "gold watch" in terms of being rewarded. I don’t know if it was the better picture when stacked up against Mystic River. It certainly wasn’t the best of the three films in the Lord of the Rings trillogy – not with all those tacked on endings. It was pretty much a way for the Academy to say "Good job on doing these three huge films back-to-back-to-back, have them be profitable and not killing yourself. Take this home and put it on your mantle."
That said, I’m glad the nay-sayers are wrong. I’ve been a Jackson fan since Meet the Feebles and really got a kick out of the underated The Frighteners. I think Kong will go a long way toward solidifying his reputation as this generation’s go-to guy for the all-out "big entertainment" blockbuster. A Spielberg replacement, perhaps? Just a thought.
Sorry I don’t have much more to say. I’m blaming the illness and will leave it at that. Hopefully I’ll be a little more sharp on Friday. See you then!
[ No Comments ]
I’ll say this for being sick; It sure gives you the time to catch up on a bunch of movies.
I had something flu-like on Monday. So after sweating it out Monday night, I stayed home from work on Tuesday. I ended up watching The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, The Naked Gun 2 and 1/2: The Smell of Fear, The Lonely Guy and Goodfellas (because it just happened to be on).
I can say without doubt that the first Naked Gun is probably one of my favorite comedies, but that I hadn’t seen the second in a long time and I kind of remember why. Despite the addition of Robert Goulet, it’s vastly inferior. Not just in terms of the humor, which feels a little overdone. But there are huge plot holes in the thing! In my opinion, some of the best humor evolves from the characters being placed in a totally absurd situation and reacting to it with complete seriousness. That’s why the first Naked Gun movie is hilarious and also why the first Airplane! movie is hilarious. Leslie Nielson and that deep baratone of his adds the perfect amount of weight to ridiculous lines like "It’s true what they say. Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano; Sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside!" That’s why it’s such a shame he’s started wasting his talent in stuff like Mr. Magoo and Spy Hard in the late 90’s. Those movies were just flat-out stupid.
Moving on… The Lonely Guy. I’ve been on a Steve Martin kick ever since watching Shopgirl a few months ago. I have no plans, however, to endure Cheaper By The Dozen 2 when it comes out this month.
Instead, I’ve been combing through his back catalog. I already owned Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid and it’s one of my favorite movies. Actually, Jared turned me onto that one years ago. We think it’s brilliant. But I picked up The Lonely Guy only partially remembering it from the times it’s been on basic cable. It was pretty funny. Cute. It’s kind of dated though. It suffers pretty heavily from the 80’s flavored synth soundtrack. It makes me wonder if the movies we’re watching now we’re going to look back on in 20 years and go "Ugh! What was up with the music back then?"
I don’t know what it was about movies from the 80’s, but very few of them seem to have a timeless quality about them. I’m sure you can say the same thing about any era, really. The movies that ARE timeless are certainly in the minioirty compared the majority of crap that comes out of most major studios. I suppose that’s why their timeless, but still…
And finally, Goodfellas… I caught it on HBO. To me, Goodfella’s is one of those movies that I will stop whatever I’m doing to watch. It’s so arresting, you can’t really turn away from it. I think that’s a big accomplisment. Especially after nearly 15 years. An even bigger accomplishment if the movie is on television. You know how it goes. You’re at home, watching TV, some movie comes across your radar. You think, "Oh, that’s interesting." and you watch it for 15 minutes or so before going back to channel surfing. Not Goodfellas. It comes on and I forget I even have a remote. Man, what a great movie. I’m still seeing helicopters.
[ No Comments ]
Most people would probably be upset to have all of their laundry strewn across the floor, but Dewey makes michief fun! Even though we know the terrible truth about him!
Man, Dewey’s a jerk!
I hope you’re enjoying the arc so far. I’m gonna tie things up next week by actually getting the characters into – y’know… A MOVIE THEATER? Oh, oh! And making MOVIE REFERENCES! And guess what? I’ll even tie it back into King Kong. Yes, Virgina. There is a Santa Claus.
Speaking of the petulant ape, tuns out Peter Jackson’s opus only earned $9.7 million on it’s opening day. Remember those nay-sayers that wanted to see Jackson fail? Maybe they’re getting their wish?
$10 million on a Wednesday is nothing to sneeze at, but for a movie supposedly as large as this one having the advertising behind it that it does, that’s kind of a surprise. It ranked 21st on the all-time list for Wednesday openings. Universal was looking for Kong to do about $80 to $90 million in business over the first five days. Now they’re lowering their estimates around $55 to $65 million.
Rumor has it that Kong is having trouble attracting women, which makes sense to me. In my mind, monster movies typically occupy the same head-space in men where the Three Stooge’s and baseball statistics go. Are there any women readers out there that would either like to confirm or deny these theories? As always, we talk about the newest movies in the THorum.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the 3 hour running time has also been keeping people away. At least until the weekend. People lead hectic lives, made even more hectic by the holiday season. If you had 3 hours to kill on a Wednesday night, would you use it to see a giant monkey picture or to round up the last few presents for friends and family?
Or… y’know. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, or whatever.
Either way, it’s not like summer where people can kind of blow off work to see Star Wars: Episode III and their obligations aren’t as stacked up. Kong will do just fine over the course holiday, especially this last weekend before Christmas. People will be out in force in the nation’s malls, running around like idiots when they’ll say, "Man, I could really use a break. Wanna go see a movie? King Kong? 3 hours? PERFECT." Sites like The Drudge Report have prematurely labeled the film "King Bomb." They’ll be proven wrong.
Incidentally, what business does The Drudge Report have reporting movies? Slow day at the office, guys?
[ No Comments ]
Reflecting on King Kong’s box office "failure" on Wednesday got me thinking about this noise I’ve been hearing about a software program that can predict a movie’s success. Have you guys heard of this?
Apparently, some egghead at Oklahoma State University wrote a software program that can predict whether or not the next Hollywood turd-burger is going to be hit by applying seven criteria to each movie and averaging them out – rating by censors, competition from other films at the time of release, strength of the cast (or Star Pow-ah!), genre, special effects, whether it is a sequel and the number of theaters it opens in.
Using a "neural network" (shades of Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, here) to process the results, films are placed in nine categories. A "flop" meaning less than $1 million at the box office. A "blockbuster" meaning more than $200.
The study proved that 37% of the time, the network accurately predicted which category a film fell into. 75% of the time it was within one category of the correct answer. Spider-Man and Shrek were correctly identified as blockbusters. Waking Up In Reno and Running Free were pegged as flops. I guess it must be right, because I’ve never heard of either of those last two movies.
Professor Ramesh Sharda has been working on the program for over seven years and has analyzed more than 800 films before publishing a paper appearing in the journal Expert Systems With Applications, set to be published in February 2006.
Naturally Sharda is already in discussions with a "major Hollywood studio" (he wouldn’t say which one) to further refine the system to improve its accuracy.
I think any movie fan with a heart and a mind knows that this specific leap in technology can only mean bad things for audiences. Clearly Sharda is someone who actually HATES movies and doesn’t want you to have a good time spending your entertainment dollar. Apparently he believes your discretionary income should go to more college scholarships. Or perhaps the athletic program. GO OSU, COWBOYS!
A program like this could turn movie marketing on its ear. Think about all the little brain trusts studios currently hire to handicap the success of a film. It’s understandable to a degree. Studios and producers make increasingly larger investments. They want to protect those investments. But by using the criteria outlined in Sharda’s program, Hollywood money-handlers could potentially deep six a movie before even one roll of film is shot. If our good friend H.A.L. doesn’t think your movie has enough star power, you’re done. Too much potential competition at the time of your film’s release? We’ll bury it in September.
Film’s are already being treated more like disposable product and less like art. I’m not taking the shallow view on this. I know that as long as there has been entertainment, there are pictures out there that will be treated as such – nothing more than a mild diversion.
But at the same time, would a movie like Apocalypse, Now or even Citzen Kane be made today with all the market research and bottom-line thinking that seems to have poisioned the industry? Films for adults are dumbed down to PG-13 so studios can reach further into the pockets of teens with disposable income. Potentially great films are rushed into theaters prematurely without much care because, "Hey, we can always make it up on the back-end with DVD sales!"
A program like this will continue to shift the balance away from thoughful expression and more toward commerce. The two can exist side-by-side if given room to flourish, but that doesn’t seem to be the industry focus anymore. Movies will end up looking more and more alike. Celebrity status rather than good stories will play a larger factor into what films get made. There will be less films for adults who are seeking serious and intelligent options and the overall artistry of cinema gets dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. Culture evaporates and America continues to earn its stripes as the home of dum-dum entertainment and overweight popcorn jockeys.
People wonder how films like Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo can continue to be made. It’s seeds like Sharda’s program that force us to reap the harvest of mediocrity.
[ No Comments ]
