We’re back from Henry’s surgery and the little tot is no worse for the wear. He was pretty cheesed off for about 20 minutes after the surgery. But once we got a bottle in him and brought him back home, he was busy crawling all over the place and getting into the dog’s food bowl just like always.

Regarding today’s strip, you can see the new course that’s been plotted for Jared and his particular brand of celebrity hatred. Ben Affleck has faded into the sunset. A new annoying actor has taken his place. Shia LaBeouf.

Now I know a lot of you out there might find this an unpopoular move. He was in Transformers. He’s going to be in the next Indiana Jones movie. He’s super-popular and well-liked.


I’m here to tell you that the kid is a fraud. And I think, secretly, there are some of you out there that agree. I’m planning on tapping into the vast undercurrent of LaBeouf hatred that’s out there and riding it all the way to the bank.

I don’t know what I don’t like about the kid. I’ve just never liked him. Admittedly, I didn’t know much about him as a person when he was starring in stuff like Charlies Angels: Full Throttle or Holes, but he just seemed way too cocky. He hadn’t done anything to earn the chip on his shoulder.

He seems like one of those kids that’s been pushed into show business by an over-zealous parent and they take it REALLY SERIOUSLY as a way to earn their parent’s love. As if being a professional or some kind of mini-adult will earn them more respect. Like Dakota Fanning or Haley Joel Osment, or something.

That’s fine. I appreciate an actor who is serious about their craft. But all of these actors started out as CHILD actors. And in order to perform at the level they do, you have to lobotomize a part of your childhood to do it. Let’s face it: That never turns out well.

I think what makes Shia particularly annoying is that he’s a sanctimonious hypocrite. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, he derided the party-hard actors and actresses of his generation by saying that he isn’t a big partier and stays home with his friends instead of getting into trouble. Not two months later and Us Weekly reports a story about him gallivanting around Hollywood trying to pick up chicks.

Don’t get me wrong. If I was his age and making millions of dollars, I’d probably succumb to the temptation. But what I WOULDN’T do is go to the press and talk about how committed I am to acting and how stupid everyone else is for partying. Dumb, dumb, dumb Shia.

Now, this morning, The Chicago Tribune is reporting that LaBeouf was arrested in Chicago for trespassing after he refused to leave a Walgreens drug store! It doesn’t get any better than this! (Thanks to Josh Anderson for forwarding me the link).

I’ve got the whole week to make my case against Shia, but I have to admit that last news item couldn’t have come at a better time. Mark my words, kids – LaBeouf is going down!

That about does it for me this morning. I have to run to the pharmacy quick and get Henry some ear drops.

Be sure to listen to The Triple Feature talkcast tonight at 9:00 PM CST over at TalkShoe.com. We’ll be talking about American Gangster and Bee Movie. Who knows? Maybe we’ll rag on Shia a little more?

I saw Bee Movie this weekend and liked it, although I don’t know why. I don’t think it was very good, but Seinfeld was very charming and I think he carried the picture. Be sure to listen live tonight and call in. We can discuss it in real time!

Also, be sure to listen in because tonight I’ll be giving away the first half of the prize code for a giveaway of Michael Moore’s Sicko – out on DVD tomorrow. Listen to the show, get the first half of the clue and then come back to the site tommorrow for the second half of the clue. E-mail the entire clue to me with the subject line “SICKO” at theaterhopper@hotmail.com with your name and address to be entered in the random drawing! I’ll also have my review of Sicko up on the site tomorrow, so you’ll want to check that out as well.

See you tonight! 9:00 PM CST sharp!

↓ Transcript
Remember, Jared: your words and deeds can make a positive change for the future!

And even though I’m moving on, I’m sure you’ll find inspiration somewhere!

Of course!