Tom is all man, baby. Borderline offensively so!

I was going to do a comic today about the new Ryan Reynolds movie Wating… but the news of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pregnancy was too good to pass out. Odd, isn’t it that Tom and Cami can only seemingly have discussion about Tom-Kat’s love life in public?

That aside, I know that I’m kind of skirting the line of good taste with today’s comic, but felt the need to shake things up a little bit.

I also want to make it clear that today’s comic is not a swipe against homosexuals. So it’s understood, I do not consider the relationships of consenting adults any of my business.

What today’s comic is really about is nothing more than outrageous reactions based on rumors. The whole "Tom Cruise is gay" thing isn’t anything new. It’s been floating around Hollywood for years. Don’t ask me why.

I can see why maybe Cruise was defensive to the insinuation back in the 80’s when the spectre of AIDS was looming about. After Rock Hudson died, people weren’t very sympathetic to gay people in the public spotlight.

And even though I think we live in (slightly) more enlightened times, I can kind of understand why Cruise would take to suing each and every person or publication that says he’s gay because now that the lie has gotten so big, coming out of the closet now would significantly damage his reputation as an action star. Plus any good will he’s racked up with audiences over the years.

For the record, I don’t even know if he ∗IS∗ gay. Really, it’s not my business. But ever since that awkward "love" scene he did with his then wife Nicole Kidman in 1999’s Eyes Wide Shut and there were rumors Cruise had to hire a coach to learn how to be passionate on screen with his real-life spouse, the din of speculation is getting louder and louder. All the suing he did didn’t help, either.

Fast forward to the middle of the first decade in the 21st century and he’s engaged to an actress 16 years his junior after 4 months of courtship. She now pregnant with his child – something not accomplished with Kidman as the two children from that relationship are adopted – and the delivery date coinciding with the release of Mission Impossible III on May 17, 2006… Well, excuse me if it all looks a little suspicious.

Maybe it’s just a run-of-the-mill string of publicity stunts. Maybe it has nothing to do with Cruise being gay or not gay. Honestly, it doesn’t make any difference to me. I wouldn’t care if Cruise were gay any more than if you were gay or my cousin were gay.

What I ∗don’t∗ like is the idea that being labeled "gay" to Cruise is as defamitory as being called a murderer or a kidnapper. His proclivity to sue represents the notion that there is something inherently wrong with homosexuality which I do not agree with.

Don’t bother arguing me on this point. With all sincerity, you could talk to me until you’re blue in the face about why homosexuality is wrong or why racism or sexism or ageism are acceptable modes of thinking and I would do my best to listen and to understand where you’re coming from. But no amount of conviction on your part would get me to change my mind about the immutable, simple human rights that I believe everyone should be afforded. You have your beliefes, I have mine. We don’t have to be on the same page, but we can at least respect each other’s ability to come to our own conclusions.

This has been an old-school rant brought to you by the letter "R." I hope you enjoyed it. If you have thoughts about the controversy or lack thereof, please take it into the THorum rather than e-mail me. I’m putting some pretty strong views out in public and would prefer the chance to address them publicly should the need arise.

Come back later today for some important news about the future of the Theater Hopper store.

Thanx.