I know for some of you it might seem a bit cruel to keep dishing out punishment on an unsuspecting Ben Affleck, but it’s become the running joke here at Theater Hopper and I’m only too happy to keep running with it. I hope you enjoy today’s comic as much as I do. I’m really happy with the way it turned out. The last few weren’t up to snuff in my opinion.
Of course, today being Jersey Girl Day, I can’t wait to throw off the shackles of another work week and dive head first into my multiplex. I’ve been looking forward to this picture since they announced filming almost this time last year.
Of course, the movie has been cast in the unfortunate position of dodging post-“Bennifer”/Gigli fallout. But I sincerely believe that once people sit down and watch the film, none of that will matter. It’s regrettable that Kevin Smith and Miramax found themselves trying to reposition the film in the wake of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s breakup. But just imagine if the wedding had gone through as planned! We wouldn’t hear the end of it!
I know Jersey Girl isn’t “official” Askewniverse cannon, but I’m not particularly bothered by it. I appreciate that Kevin Smith set out to make a more “adult” film. As long as the true-to-how-people-talk brand dialogue is still in place, I’ll always buy a ticket to see what Smith has concocted next.
I'm here to clear up any remaining concerns you might have about my new film, Jersey Girl.
The film is virtually J. Lo free.
We cut out the wedding scene in the opening...
...and she dies in the first 15 minutes.
But don't forget me! Ben Affleck!
SWEET SHADES OF DOGMA!
I thought he had a restraining order against you?...