Theater Hopper: First Blood! At least the Rambo vibe was what I was trying to achieve with today’s buzzComix voting incentive sketch…

I know it’s kind of cheap to make a Roger Ebert fat joke, especially considering the man just had a stroke and that Ebert fat jokes are a tired cliche when it comes to mocking film reviewers. Coupling the irony, since his stroke, Ebert has lost a lot of weight and looks fabulous!

Well, the hell with it. The vision of being consumed Burmese python-style by Roger Ebert was just too good not to commit to paper. So, here it is.

Truthfully, I like Ebert a lot. He’s one of the most educated film reviewers and historians out there. If I’m not mistaken, he’s the only film reviewer to have won a Pulitzer Prize. Not too shabby! Then again, he wrote Beyond the Valley of the Dolls for Russ Meyer. So I guess you take the good with the bad.

I actually find myself agreeing with Ebert more now than I used to. Certainly more than that jackal-faced co-host of his Richard Roeper. I think Ebert does a better job of looking at films from the entertainment perspective. By that I mean, he’s perfectly willing to discount a totally non-sensical plot as long as he was entertained in the end. He’s more of a believer in the “magic” of movies – a romantic notion I can totally get in step with.

Roeper on the other hand, often over-intellectualizes things and tries to compare Martin Lawrence movies to Fellini. He’s constantly trying to flex his knowledge. Ebert doesn’t have to. We all know he has the chops.

Nothing much else to mention on the home front. I probably won’t be seeing any movies this weekend unless I can get to the local art house and catch The Triplets of Belleville. I’ve been chomping at the bit to see it but I haven’t worked it in my schedule.

Beyond that, I plan on enjoying the 40+ degree weather we’ve been having in Iowa of late. Compared to the weeks and weeks we were getting dumped on with snow, it’s a welcome change. There’s a good melt going on out there.

Oh, before I forget, be sure to check out our latest sponsor JDizzle Comics. It’s a great strip. Well written and very funny! I like it a lot.

Take care, babies! See you on the flip side!

↓ Transcript
I'm Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times. Today we're reviewing Welcome to Mooseport, a film I really enjoyed.

...because you have a lot in common with the moose.

THAT'S IT, BRAZELTON! That's the last fat joke you get to make on my show! You're outta here!

I'm not the first co-host he's eaten! I won't be the last!

AVENGE ME!

...But Ebert, I though you were on Atkins...