Posts Tagged ‘Charlie’

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THERE WAS HAND-HOLDING, TOO

by Tom on February 18, 2009 at 12:00 am
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(5 votes, average: 7.20 out of 10)
Charlie, Jimmy, dating, tough guy posturing, insecurity, tattoos, holding hands

If you were following my Twitter posts yesterday, you would know that I expressed some anxiety about there being no punchline in today's comic. I always put myself under this pressure to make every, single strip funny in these larger story lines even though I know that this exposition is necessary to keep the plot moving. Even though I want a punchline, I don't want to undercut the emotional sincerity. It's a tightrope walk, that's for sure.

Speaking of tightrope walks, I just got my copy of Man On Wire in the mail from NetFlix yesterday -- my first NetFlix rental! *swoon!* I'm already looking forward to going home and watching it. Well, that and tonight's episode of Lost.

I didn't get a chance to watch Man On Wire yesterday because I had my night class. But tonight my schedule is clear! I'll be sure to tell you what I think.

Incidentally, I chose Man On Wire as my pick to win the award for Best Documentary at the Oscars on Sunday. If you'd like to see the rest of my picks (and the story related to The Triple Feature behind my reasons for making them public,) check out this post from Tuesday. Y'know... in case you missed it.

A couple other site things real quick...

You may have noticed that I added a couple of prominent links to the homepage immediately to the lower right of the comic - a StumbleUpon link and a Tip Jar link.

The StumbleUpon link I created because, since the launch of the redesign, I am very interested in getting individual comics listed back on the site. I've had lots of really good luck with people finding the comic through StumbleUpon in the past, so I want to take full advantage of that going forward.

I know today's comic probably doesn't fall within the "OMG! I have to share this with everyone!" category, but if you could find it in your heart to submit the link anyway, that would be great. Go back into the archive and submit your favorite comics as well. It may be mooching the system, but I'd like to have ALL of Theater Hopper's comic listed in StumbleUpon. Who knows what might catch on?

As for the second link, the tip jar... I was hesitant at first. I didn't even have the idea to add it until someone had written me asking if I had one available. I didn't know there was a demand for such things! But it was explained to me that sometimes people don't want (or don't have the money to) purchase something in the store and would still like to show support. A tip jar kind of covers that base. So if someone wants to kick in a dollar or two from time to time, they can feel like they're helping out without breaking the bank buying a shirt or a book.

It should go without saying that tips are not expected, but they are certainly appreciated. This is the last I will mention it because I don't want to be the guy standing on the corner of the internet with his hand outstretched. It's simply an option for you guys. If you like a particular comic and want to reward me (for whatever reason) it's there for you. I'll leave it at that.

That'll do it for now, but I have a second post coming up later in the day talking about Henry's second birthday - which is today! Be sure to swing by the site later or subscribe to our RSS feed.

Talk to you soon!

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A FIRE THAT BURNS

by Tom on February 13, 2009 at 12:00 am
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(6 votes, average: 7.00 out of 10)
bonfire, party, davenport, woman, charlie, hat, Jimmy, Charlie

WHOA! Didn't see that one coming, did you? Well, maybe you did. But I like to think you didn't. Who knew that Jimmy and Charlie's past intersected so much earlier than we thought? And, by the way, in case you aren't familiar with Charlie's backstory or why she's important, you can read her origin story here (hey, just closin' the loop for the new readers!)

I know introducing Charlie as the "woman who changed everything" for Jimmy raises all sorts of questions. For example, if Jimmy and Charlie used to be together, why haven't we heard anything until now? Why hasn't Jimmy tried to approach Charlie when she's visited the theater? Don't worry! We're going to get to all of that in the next couple of weeks.

I would say this is about the half-way point for the storyline and I'm really excited to tell the rest. What's been revealed at this point could be a game-changer in the future and redefine some of the relationships in the comic. This is the point where we start to pick up speed!

I think I'd better stop while I'm ahead so I don't reveal too much more!

As for this weekend's movies, I want to try and see Clive Owen in The International because I'm really interested in seeing that shoot-out they filmed inside the Guggenheim. But it's going to be pretty difficult for me to get away. Not only because Saturday is Valentine's Day, but Sunday we're having everyone over to celebrate Henry's second birthday! Henry's actual birthday is the 18th (and I'll be talking more about him then.) But for the celebration, it's just easier to get everyone together on Sunday. As such, not a lot of free time for movies. We gotta scrub down the house and get things ready!

That's all for me today. So, what do you think about the big reveal? Are you excited to learn more? Where will things go from here? Share your thoughts in the comments and I'll see you back here on Monday!

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OBSCURE CHARACTERS

by Tom on January 14, 2009 at 7:01 am
Posted In: Blog
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

By the way, I don't know if you noticed, but since the site relaunch in January I've dusted off three obscure characters in a little more than a week's time.

How do you guys feel about seeing Victor, Charlie and Goth Jared again?

If you're a new reader and not familiar with these guys, I encourage you to check out the cast page for a little background information as well as links to some of the story lines they were featured in!

If you're a veteran reader and if you think there are any important characters or story lines I overlooked, use our handy new contact form and let me know!

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FOUR FACES

by Tom on January 9, 2009 at 8:14 am
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(5 votes, average: 7.00 out of 10)
Bride Wars, negative stereotypes, women, hug, sanctimonious phoney, sycophantic loser, Charlie

Sorry for the delay putting today's comic on the site this morning. I stayed up late working on it before having to get up early this morning to take Henry into surgery and I didn't have time to write the blog.

Don't worry. Henry is fine. They just put tubes in his ears to help drain his chronic ear infections. They also removed his adenoids to help lessen the blockage he experiences when he gets a cold.

It's amazing how fast the whole thing goes down. We took him in at 6:30 this morning and we were out of there by 8:30. It takes more time to get him processed, admitted and discharged than it does to perform the surgery!

At any rate, we're home now. Henry is sitting next to me as I type this. He's eaten his second banana. He's a trooper.

As far as the comic goes, I'm pretty happy with it. Clearly, I'm not a woman, but I think the strip has some funny things to say about women. If I'm wrong, tell me in the comments. I invite your criticism!

I'm sorry, but Bride Wars looks like the very worst of every terrible chick flick cliche on the books. But what I think I find most insulting about it is how clearly it telegraphs it's ending.

In case you don't know the plot, two friends get engaged and book their weddings at The Plaza Hotel in New York. A clerical error results in their weddings being booked on the same day thus forcing one of the brides to abandon their dream wedding.

I think you would have to be pretty blind not to see the ending to this thing a mile off. Can you say "double wedding?" It's the only way the at-war former best friends can reconcile their differences.

To their credit, the screenwriters address the obviousness of this when one of the character mentions a double wedding to Kate Hudson's character. "A double wedding? No! What are we - 40 year-old twins?" she barks. I'd like to think that they found a more creative solution, but I don't see that in the cards.

What if the screenwriters did something completely revolutionary for a chick flick and abstained from the happy ending. What if one of the brides has her wedding at The Plaza, the other doesn't and the friendship is irrevocably broken? They never speak again... CREDITS! What if the grooms left them at the alter to teach them a lesson about their superficial ways? What if the grooms marry each other in Massachusetts?

But no one ever listens to my ideas...

What do you think about Bride Wars ? Do you think it will be as bad as I've predicted or do you think there is an appreciative demographic for the film? If it is a chick flick that caterers to all that is catty and superficial about women, is that any worse than a film like Punisher: War Zone which appeals to the nihilistic and violent nature of men? Are these films two sides of the same "lowest common denominator" coin?

Please keep in mind that I went to Punisher: War Zone on opening weekend like a dolt, so I'm fully willing to turn a critical eye on myself.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below! Otherwise, I'll see you here on Monday! Have a great weekend!

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GIRL TALK

by Tom on January 21, 2008 at 6:09 pm
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(7 votes, average: 8.71 out of 10)
Charlie, Martin Luther King Jr., day off, 27 Dresses, white, mayonnaise sandwiches

It's been a while since we've seen Charlie in a comic, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to reintroduce to the strip.

Y'know, for a while I've wanted to get back to telling longer story arcs and I'm sitting on a doozy that focuses on the ancillary players of the Theater Hopper universe. One of these days I'm going to have to get around to telling it and tighten things up a little bit in terms of how everyone relates to each other.

Just like in the comic, both Cami and I have the day off today because of the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. Being the whitest white guy who every whited, I always felt a little guilty for being given the day off. What am I supposed to do with it? Practice my speech-writing skills? Participate in a sit-in of some kind?

I don't mean to diminish Martin Luther King, Jr. or his accomplishments in any way. But getting the day off for his birthday is something new to me. The corporation I work for only recently enacted a policy giving employees time off for it. So I'm kind of at a loss.

I'm probably dating myself a little bit here, but I'm reminded of a skit from Saturday Night Live in the early to mid-90's with Tim Meadows and Ellen Cleghorn as two office workers exchanging gifts on Marting Luther King, Jr. day. All of the white people in the office start to get very worried and start to ask each other "Were we supposed to get them gifts?" Eventually the two parties end up in conflict over the matter and all the white people scurry to get the African American co-workers gifts. When they leave the break room, Meadows and Cleghorn laugh about it all being a scam. I dunno. I guess I'm saying I relate to that confusion.

I didn't get a chance to see 27 Dresses this weekend. Just didn't shake out that way. But I did see Cloverfield on Friday night. Very intense film, but it lived up to the hype for me. I loved it and apparently so did a lot of you. The film broke all box office records for January.

It's been interesting to monitor the reaction to this film. I've talked to some people who absolutely hated it and thought it was dumb. A lingering taste of Blair Witch still left in their mouths? The couple next to me at the showing I attended left with about 20 minutes to go. I have no idea what set them off.

At any rate, I'll reserve the majority of my comments in this space and instead encourage you to tune in to The Triple Feature podcast being recorded LIVE at 9:00 PM CST this evening over at TalkShoe. I know that both Joe and Gordon saw the film and I'm positive there will be some strong opinions about it from all three of us.

If you saw the movie this weekend, I strongly encourage you to call in with your questions or leave your comments in the real-time chat filed during the broadcast. I'd love to gather a little more concensus around the film. I honestly think it'll be a film people will still be talking about 5 years from now.

That's all from me. Enjoy the day off if you've been lucky enough to have been granted it so. Otherwise, I hope this l'il old comic will help get you over the Monday blah's.

Talk to you soon!

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MARRIED TO THE SLOB

by Tom on May 30, 2007 at 12:00 am
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(4 votes, average: 7.25 out of 10)
Knocked Up, Seth Rogen, Katherine Heigl, slob, Charlie, butter, kernels, floating, Gummi Bears

I don't know what was going on with me that I couldn't figure out something more creative with the background. But, uh... HEY! Charlie has a new haircut! Look at that! WOW!

Knocked Up is in theaters this weekend, appearing in theaters at what I think is a very opportune time. It's been almost a month since Spider-Man 3 landed in theaters and kicked off the blockbuster season. So far, we've survived it and it's "threequel" brethren Shrek the Third and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Knocked Up comes at a time when I think people are prepared to take a step away from fantasy for a while and get a little closer to real people and situations again.

Of course, Seth Rogen landing in bed with Katherine Heigl isn't exactly realistic, but this is why we love Hollywood. They tweak reality just enough to keep us interested. I'm sure that the movie will play this disparity in physical attractiveness to it's advantage. I expect nothing less from Judd Apatow and crew.

It pleases me to no end the Seth Rogen is stepping up into the unlikely leading man category. If you've watched Undeclared, you know that they guy has an affiable charm that's fun to watch. Even when he's being a jerk, it works. So it'll be interesting to see how he manages when he has to filter sarcasm through his heart.

At this point I'm not going to go into my Apatow-love speech. Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, The 40 Year-Old Virgin. Either you get it by now or you don't. I really appreciate that Apatow is using the same stable of actors and creating his own little universe. The smartest thing any director can do is bring Paul Rudd into his movies. So, needless to say, I have high hopes for Knocked Up.

Interesting factoid: Did you guys know that Knocked Up was originally written to be a sequel to The 40 Year-Old Virgin that featured the Smart Tech crew? I'm glad they came to their senses and invented a new set of characters for the actors to inhabit. The Smart Tech guys were brilliantly effective within the context of T40YOV, but that kind of misogynistic buffonery probably wouldn't work on it's own. You need the wholesomeness of Steve Carell's character to balance that out.

Anyway, that's all I have to say about that.

Site news

I wanted to tip you guys off to a new t-shirt design I'm taking pre-orders for right now: Movie Law #948.

Fans of the comic will recognize the concept of this shirt from this comic, wherein Tom discusses actor Sean Bean's proclivity toward expiring in what seems like the majority of his movies.

Readers with good long-term memories might recall that I submitted initial designs of the shirt for feedback, but was talked out of producing the shirt when the spector of copyright infringement was brought up.

After the controversy with Threadless over the Spoiler shirts last week, a switch flipped in my head. If these guys can get away with using Darth Vader's head in what turned out to be the most fastest-selling shirt, then li'l old me can get away with an artistic interpretation of Sean Bean's mug. If I get a cease and desist letter, then that will be the end of it. In the meantime, screw it. People have been asking for it, the work was half way done... let's run 'er up the flagpole and see if she flies.

My problem with t-shirt design is that it takes very little to derail me on an idea I have because it's such a large investment for me. I could have 50 people respond and tell me "I want that shirt!" but if one person responds and says "copyright infringement!" or "I couldn't tell that was Sean Bean," I quit. That's lame. I have a bunch of great ideas. I just need to push them through.

Well, I've decided instead of producing Theater Hopper: Year Three this summer, I'm taking the nest egg I've stored up and spending it on t-shirt production that will hopefully generate interest in the store and spur book sales when people take advantage of the bundling options.

So pre-order this shirt now through June 13. Moving forward, I'll be producing more shirts. Hopefully you like some or all of them. We can use the support.

Oh, and for the people that are curious, Movie Law #948 has a list of all the movies in which Sean Bean dies on screen (so far). If you want to see what they are, visit the page in our store and pre-order now!

Got any comments, thoughts, ideas or feedback? Leave them below!

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SHREK THE INFINITE

by Tom on May 16, 2007 at 12:00 am
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(3 votes, average: 8.67 out of 10)
Shrek the Third, Mike Meyers, cameos, money, cheers, Charlie

Haven't seen Charlie in a while, have we? Man, I need to update her hairstyle.

Shrek the Third comes out this weekend and I'm in this weird position where I don't want to see it... but I kind of do.

I can't explain myself. I saw both Shrek and Shrek 2 and never really enjoyed them. I find them too arch and winking. In fact, I think Cami and I once rented the first Shrek movie when it first came out on DVD and couldn't bother to complete it. We were just kind of like "Ehhh... kind of funny the first time. Not in the least bit funny the second time." I don't even remember what Shrek 2 was all about.

With their abundance of flatulence jokes, they are most certainly for kids. But the producers work very hard to throw in jokes for adults and, for me, it make for an uneven affar. I'm a bit of an animation purist. I don't mean to imply that the medium is strictly for children. But if that's your primary audience, take Gold Five's advice and "Stay on target!" Too much of the adult stuff and it dilutes things. Part of the reason I got to animated movies is because I like to feel like I'm being transported to a time in my life when things weren't so damn complicated. I mean, every now an again Pixar will toss in an adult joke in their movies. But I feel they're typically more organic. The Shrek movies make it feel like a formula = "fart joke x fart joke / sex joke = box office"

This is an entirely subjective reaction, of course. But I believe there are more concrete reasons to hate the Shrek franchise. The over-abundance of marketing tie-in's for one. I addressed it back when Shrek 2 was in theaters and it's no less true now. You can't go to the grocery store without looking at that freckled green ogre's mug slapped all over the place. What I especially hate are those poorly dubbed commercials on TV right now where Shrek and Donkey are interacting with the M&M guys or buying a Happy Meal at McDonalds and the voices are SO CLEARLY not Mike Meyers and Eddie Murphy.

Look, I know they're big stars whose vocal "talents" these companys probably can't afford. But there should be someone at Dreamworks that says "If you're going to use Shrek characters in your spots, then we recommend these two voice-approximate doubles." You see these commercials and it's like they're not even using the same impersonators. It's really annoying.

More than anything, I'm annoyed that due to the success of the Shrek franchise, (and this is something Gordon and I talked about in Monday's Triple Feature talkcast) Mike Meyer hasn't taken a creative leap in over half a decade. A cursory glance at his listing over at IMDB reflect only two starring roles since the first Shrek hit theaters in 2001 - Austin Powers in Goldmember and The Cat in the Hat. I'll give him a pass on Goldmember because (even though he was plagiarizing himself in the first two movies) there was some original invention going on there. The less said about The Cat and The Hat, the better. Beyond that, only a few cameo roles unbecoming of one of Hollywood's highest paid actors.

I completely understand how money has probably insulated Meyers from doing anything out of the box. I can see the appeal of rolling out of bed, doing a few hours of voice over work in a studio, avoiding the makeup chair and the chaos of a full-blown movie set. But speaking as a fan of Meyers ability to insert catchphrases into the lexicon with lazer-like precision, I'm amazed that he's not taking the opportunity to do something more.

Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge. He could have turned out like Eddie Murphy and starred in crap like The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Daddy Day Care an Norbit post-Shrek. Maybe THAT'S the bigger wasted opportunity!

Despite all of the reasons NOT to see Shrek the Third, I'm morbidly curious to see what it's like. I didn't want to see Shrek 2 when it came out, but Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots made the movie for me. He's the most memorable thing in it and I still chuck when I think of how he delivered his introduction - "PUSSSSSS!... (in boots!)" Excellent.

To that end, I think I may have been won over by the casting. In one of the movie's subplots, Cameron Diaz as Fiona leads a band of other princesses to defend the land of Far Far Away and she has Amy Sedaris, Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler and Mya Rudolph behind her. Throw in John Krasinski from The Office, Seth Rogen from The 40 Year-Old Virigin, Ian McShane from Deadwood and you have my attention. Stunt casting - 60% of the time, it works every time. They've done studies, you know!

So what's your opinion out there in the intertubes? Are you excited for Shrek the Third or do you think it will be more of the same? Have you ordered all your Shrek merchandise yet and will you be wearing it to the theater on Friday/? Are you like me and suckered by high-profile voice casting or do you think it cheapens animation by distracting you from the artisanship of an animator's craft?

Leave your comments below and I'll catch up with you!

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FALSE PERCEPTION EQUALS SETBACK

by Tom on February 14, 2005 at 12:00 am
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(4 votes, average: 9.00 out of 10)
FALSE PERCEPTION EQUALS SETBACK

I realize today's comic isn't fall down funny, but I needed a way to set the scene back to the present so everyone knew Cami and Charlie were still stuck in the bathroom.

We're nearing the home stretch, folks. Expect to see Cami and Charlie free from their water house prison by the end of the week. Give me another week for a little recap and we're onto more topical humor!

Incidentally, I got a lot of positive feedback for last Friday's comic. People really seem to like it when I bash Ben Affleck around. Is it possible that I may actually start feeling sorry for the guy? I mean, he gets beat up A LOT in this comic.

...

NAH!

Truthfully, I should do a comic where Ben Affleck gets beat up in new an imaginative ways each week and have that be the concept. For as much positive feedback I get when I do it, I gather it would be the most popular thing on the web.

At any rate, this is a good opportunity to mention that the artwork that was used in that splash panel of last Friday's comic is actually up for auction. So if you ever wanted to own an original piece of artwork by yours truly, here's your chance.

The auction ends on Friday, so step up to the plate now and blow away the competition with an awesome bid that will leave the competition to cry to Mommy.

Cami and I saw Hitch this weekend. Normally, I have a very low tolerance for Will Smith movies. ESPECIALLY when he's in action hero mode. I didn't like him in Independence Day or I, Robot pretty much for the same reason I didn't enjoy Bruce Willis as an action hero in the early Die Hard days. Too glib. Too cocky. I couldn't relate.

That aside, romantic-comedy Will Smith is one charming bastard. Despite a little too much monloguing about love and the effects there-of, I found myself really enjoying the film. Of course, it didn't hurt that they filmed in a lot of "off-the-beaten-path" locales in New York City. Watching the movie made me want to go back there in the worst way. I love that town.

And speaking of New York City, did you know there is a really excellent web comic about life in that fair metropolis? It's a little obtuse in and of the fact that it stars an Alien and Predator action figure, so you think it's going to be about one thing, when it's really about another. But what is irrefutable is that the comic is drop-down hilarious and altogether brilliant. It's Alien Loves Predator and you need to check it out.

Actually, the thrid panel of today's comic kind of reminded me of something I did a while ago, and I thought that was really cool. I think Bernie did it better.

Now how's THAT for a seuge way?!

I still haven’t had a chance to color in that Constantine artwork I did for a February’s desktop wallpaper. Which means since I haven’t replaced the Elektra wallpaper that I can’t do the raffle to see who walks home with the original art. I don’t know when I can get to it, but hopefully soon.

Anyway, I just want to remind people that I’m composing these original works as incentive for you to buy stuff, donate or advertise with us. Anyone who gives Theater Hopper money for ANYTHING in the course of a given month will have their name put into a raffle to win some original artwork. All the details are at the bottom of the Walk of Fame page if you want the skinny. At the end of the year, I’m going to take all of the artwork and pull it together for a great 2006 calendar. Cool, eh?

I was going to talk a little bit about how I’ve been dreaming about redesigning the site. The layout would remain pretty similar, but I’m getting tired of the dark grey color scheme. I’m thinking of something brighter and, frankly, something where the elements fit a little better together. I’ve been practicing my skills in cascading style sheets and sketching out rough ideas, so maybe someday soon you’ll come back to the site and it will have a whole new paint job!

I think I’m going to end with that. I’m a little tired of typing now. Ta!

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DISARMED

by Tom on January 31, 2005 at 12:00 am
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(4 votes, average: 8.75 out of 10)
Charlie, bathroom, stuck, apology, argument, comeback

It's amazing what one little apology can do to stop someone dead in their tracks, isn't it? Now that Cami got the two little words she wanted from Charlie, have her defenses fallen? Will we learn the reason she's back in town? Yes, we will! And sooner than later, I might add. Keep a close watch this week kids. We're entering the third act!

Regrettably, I didn't get a chance to see any of the movies that I wanted to see this weekend. So I suppose that means Sideways and Million Dollar Baby will have to wait for another day.

I can't explain it. My Sunday was wide open. I didn't even have chores to do. The weather was fair. No obstacles. I guess I was just plain lazy. But everyone needs a day where they don't do anything, right? I just wish I hadn't sat around watching all those back-to-back episodes of I Love the 90's: Part Deux and The Surreal Life on VH1. My brain feels like mush.

I'm not sure if it's all the time I've been spending indoors lately or if this is just a defense mechanism to fight of Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I'm getting the itch to redesign the site.

There are a lot of things about the site that I like and that are working well from the front end. On the back end, however, it's a totally different story. Most of the changes involve me organizing files to they're easier to locate when I want to make changes. Right now it's like that ball of Christmas lights from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. It's a little unwieldy.

Recognizing that what I want to do isn't a face lift, but reconstructive surgery. I'm tempted to strike the design we have now in favor of something new. And as much as I feel that the site is mine and I can do with it whatever will satisfy me creatively, I have to admit that I'm curious as to what you guys think.

So my idea is this - a little market research. I want to know what you guys think, but I want to organize the feedback in some way. I'm looking for a good third party FREE survey organization that I can use to create a brief Q&A survey for the site. I'm interested in your thoughts on design just as much as I'm interested in our demographics and what monitor resolution you're viewing the site at.

So if you have any in-roads to such a program or vendor, let me know. I'm interested in getting this off the ground pretty soon. It will help me determine if the sketches I have for the new site design will be worth bringing to digital fruition or not!

Thanks!

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WHEN RELATIONSHIP TRAINING BACKFIRES

by Tom on January 26, 2005 at 12:00 am
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(4 votes, average: 9.00 out of 10)
Charlie, bathroom, cell phone, marriage, training, Panic Room, Jodie Foster, id, ego, super-ego

I'll preface today's comic by saying "No, Cami doesn't really have me 'trained'". Truthfully, she would probably resent the categorization if Theater Hopper were a work of non-fiction. But as it turns out, this little detail is for entertainment purposes only.

The point of this week in the story arc is to fill in any loopholes that might provide Cami and Charlie and easy escape from the women's restroom. The cell phone doesn't work and Tom is inept, so what's left? Could Jimmy possibly be coming to save the day? Well, don't count on it. You'll see what I mean Friday.

I'm learning that one of the drawbacks to telling a larger story with a more dramatic bend is that people start to treat it like it's really happening. As such, they start asking questions like "Why would the women's bathroom go unchecked for two years? We thought Jimmy was so professional?" So now I find myself in the position of having to answer these questions before getting into the chewy center of the story. Y'know, the one where Charlie finally tells her secret for being back home.

The experience is teaching me a lot, but I can't help but feel like this gauntlet I'm running is kind of like that episode of The Simpsons where all the nerds are grilling Xena: Warrior Princess star Lucy Lawless about the inconsistencies in her show.

"Um... Whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it!"

"Uh, yes but..."

"WIZARD!"

The Academy Award nominations were announced yesterday and looking over the field of candidates, I can't help but reflect that 2004 was not a particularly good year for movies. Frankly, I was surprised that The Aviator walked away with 11 nominations. But I suppose through the Academy's filter of "ONLY EPICS SHALL WIN BIG AWARDS!!!" it's not so surprising.

Sure, smaller films like Sideways and Vera Drake are up for Best Picture, but that feels like lip service to me. It's just a way for the Academy to show that they're not out of touch with smaller productions on independent cinema. A token gesture to prove they're not completely out of touch. You know - kind of like the guy who's been a hard core Def Leppard fan all his life, but buys then buys a White Stripes record in a feeble attempt to look cool. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand it. But dammit, it's in his record collection, so he must be onto something!

When it comes to the nominations, I usually pay less attention to who receives the accolade than who ∗didn't∗. People really seemed to notice that neither Fahrenheit 9/11 nor The Passion of The Christ received major category nominations. They were probably two of the most successful and controversial films of the year. But I think it's that controversy that kept them out of Oscar contention. The Academy isn't the type of organization with the conviction to endorse anything controversial. They just want to huddle their membership into the Kodak Theater, pat themselves on the back for 4 hours and then drink 'til sunup.

Really, it's probably moot - at least in F9/11's case. I think Michael Moore ran himself out of contention by refusing to submit the film for Best Documentary or perhaps broadcasting it on television before December 31 (which neuters his eligibility in the Academy's eyes) or some such nonsense.

When it comes to snubs, what I can't understand is why Paul Giamatti wasn't nominated for Best Actor, while his movie Sideways gets a Best Picture, Director and Writing nominations. It even racked up two Best Supporting Actor nods for Thomas Haden Church and Virginia Madsen.

Man, THAT'S a twist of the knife. The guy who played a half-retarded airplane mechanic in a lousy sitcom and the woman who starred not only in Candyman, but Highlander II: The Quickening are being recognized ahead of the man who has been recognized as one of the best character actors of the last 10 years. Then again, he DOES have Big Fat Liar on his resume...

Another snub I thought was noteworthy was the exclusion of The Polar Express from the Best Animated Feature Film category. Don't get me wrong. I think the film looked horrible, saccharine and soulless. But despite its failings, the film WAS a technical achievement. Especially in regard to the motion capture technology director Robert Zemeckis probably advanced by five years with his work.

But to be bested by Shark Tale? Ouch! Don't try to tell me that box office didn't influence the Academy's decision in that regard.

Any another thing, I've always harbored a little grudge against the Shrek franchise for stealing the very first Best Animated Film Oscar away from Monsters, Inc. in 2002. If Shrek 2 wins out over the VASTLY superior The Incredibles in 2005, then there is no justice in the world.

Some odds and ends...

What's up with Alan Alda being nominated for Best Supporting Actor in The Aviator. Honestly, I saw nothing outstanding from the performance. Really nothing more noteworthy than what Alec Baldwin did with the same amount of screen time in the same movie.

I was pleased to see Natalie Portman and Clive Owen getting Best Supporting recognition for their work in Closer. I thought it was one of the best movies of the year. It was probably too mean-spirited or too much like a play for the Academy's taste, but it's nice to see actors who shined in their supporting roles be recognized over their lead actor contemporaries.

Very surprised to see Kate Winslet be nominated for Best Actress in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. She won't win because the movie came out almost a year ago and most voters probably won't remember it. But it's a nice tip of the hat to another wondrous film from '04.

Beyond that, I don't know what more to say. I guess I need to study the nominations a little closer. I'm just pointing out the things that really set off alarms in my head.

What are your thoughts about the Academy Award nominations? Y'know, we're talking about it in the THorum...

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