Two things I realized as I was finishing today’s comic:

  1. My version of Elton John looks a lot like a fat David Letterman.
  2. I realized too late that I should have done a comic about Valentine’s Day.

I can fix that second issue, though. I have a Valentine’s Day themed comic in mind for tomorrow. Nothing fancy. I should be able to knock it out pretty quick. So maybe you want to swing by the site tomorrow and check it out? Mark your calendars.

I don’t remember when I first saw the trailer for Gnomeo & Juliet, but I remember my reaction to it when I did. The premise – which looked horribly derivative – combined with the entry-level animation and cheap fart jokes convinced me this was some kind of direct-to-DVD movie. I was shocked to learn it was getting a theatrical release. Credit Elton John’s name being attached to the production, I guess. I can see no other reason why this was green-lit.

Apparently the rights to the screenplay were originally picked up by Disney before production was shut down by John Lasseter after becoming the head of Disney animation. Thank goodness. This movie looks as bad as Home on the Range – and the Disney gatekeepers should have done a better job of seeing through the premise.

Truthfully, this movie looks so placid, I can’t imagine who the audience is for. Maybe it’s just for kids. That’s okay. Not every animated movie has to be pitched at adults, too. But to me it looks like an animated movie made for your Great Aunt who owns too many cats and who thought Kung Fu Panda was “too ethnic.”

I means, garden gnomes! SERIOUSLY?!

I don’t know if there’s much more vitriol that I can conjure up for Gnomeo and Juliet. But I thought it would be fun to position the movie as the most bizarre vanity project of all time and poke fun at it.

Tomorrow, I’ll bring the love with a brand new comic. You bring the chocolates.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, EVERYONE!

↓ Transcript
Sir Elton John! It's a pleasure to meet you. After your success with The Lion King, we're thrilled you're coming back to animation! What idea do you have for us.

I'd like to do a fresh take on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet using my songs as the score!

...AND I WANT IT TO BE ABOUT GARDEN GNOMES.

IN 3-D.

Is he using cocaine again?