I’m not exactly sure what the Twilight movies have to do with the Resident Evil franchise, but Jared seems passionate about the topic so Tom really has no choice but to go along.

I wish I had made the genesis of Jared’s conviction a little more clear in the comic. But the gist of it is, “If we’re going to be subjected to ridiculous genre movies, we should at least side with the films that honor the films that came before it.”

Or something to that effect.

The Resident Evil movies are a complete bastardization of the zombie movie genre, but at least it doesn’t upend things entirely. Twilight treats vampires like the amalgamation of an Ambercrombie & Fitch fever dream filtered through the diary of a 15 year-old. It completely ignores the mythological elements that make vampires interesting in the first place.

Like I said, Jared’s stance isn’t exactly clear. I was really more interested on busting chops in regard to Resident Evil: Afterlife. The execution was a little sloppy on this one. Sorry. Righteous indignation is a lot more fun when you don’t have to explain it.

In my defense, however, my mind is pretty flayed right now as we prepare for our move to a new home in a week and a half. We’ve been packing for what feels like forever and our house has become a claustrophobic snare of boxes.

Speaking of the move, I recently put a bunch of my Theater Hopper merchandise in boxes and it’s intimidating the crap out of me. I’m really wishing I hadn’t taken my books out of the boxes they were shipped to me in right now. I got a couple of really heavy Tupperwares in the basement and I pray for the poor souls that have to move them into our new house.

You can help with this, you know? All you have to do is place an order between now and Sunday, September 19 in the Theater Hopper store to help lighten our load. All books are $11.00 and all t-shirts are $7.00 or less.

You might also want to look into following me on Facebook and Twitter. I’ve been sharing special discount code there that can help you save on your order. In most cases, the discounts pretty much cancel our shipping expenses entirely.

Response to the sale so far has been really, really great. So I’m reluctant to push the ball too far up the field. I don’t want to alienate anyone who has already shown their support.

But we’re reaching the finish line and every little bit helps. I’m very motivated to sell off as much of this merchandise as possible so I don’t have to move it into the new house.

Again, if you’re unable to make a purchase at this time, that’s totally fine. I understand. But if you can help spread the word about the sale on Facebook, Twitter, forums or in the comments section of the blogs you visit, that would really help.

Additionally, if you’ve already made a purchase and would like to leave a comment about it, you can do that under the “Store” tab on the Theater Hopper Facebook page. Testimonials are worth their weight in gold and sometimes help give people who are on the fence the little extra push they need.

Also, it totally feeds my ego. So… win-win!

That’s all for now. We’re in the dog days of Summer, kids. Not a lot of movie news to talk about. Did anyone happen to see Resident Evil: Afterlife and care to talk about it in the comments? Can someone explain the appeal of these movies to me? Let us know your thoughts!

↓ Transcript
ANOTHER Resident Evil movies? How many of these have they made?

Umm, I think this is the fourth one.

"Afterlife." What a dumb name for a sequel. Right up there with "Extinction" and "Apocalypse."

Always alluding to some grim finality that never arrives.

LOOK, it's either dumb zombie movies or a life spent in movie hell hanging out with glittery vampires.

At some point, you gotta make a stand.

One for Resident Evil: Afterlife, please.