There's probably a better joke to be had making fun of either Saw III or Babel. But frankly, I couldn't muster the creative juices because I couldn't bring myself to care about either film.



Saw III comes out this weekend and it's more of the same Rube Goldberg torture devices, excessive gore and puppetry. It's astonishing to me that they've made a new Saw film every year since the first one came out in 2004. At first, the success of Saw indicated that you could have a huge hit filmed for very little money and I was impressed by it's efficiency.  But now, Hollywood knows a deal when they see one and it's become part of the machine, so to speak. They can keep churning out Saw films for next to no money and keep raking in huge box office. It's difficult not to be jaded about the whole thing.



Although I am not a fan of horror, Saw should have been right up my alley. I appreciate the complexity of the death traps and can realate more with a killer who views his victims to be as stupid and selfish as the audience does. This, as oppose to the usual slasher flick where the killer is pretty much killing because that's what the script demands. At least here they are miming some kind of psychological profile.



But at the same time, I view horror as one of the most disposable of genres. For every original movie Pyscho, Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th movie (and yes, even Saw), it's only a matter of time before it's dilluted into celluloid mush. Studios can crank out dozens of films at no cost because they can hire no-name actors for victims. You see what happens when they cast famous people. Since we've already identified with them as an audience for their exploits, the never get offed. There's nothing at stake and no thrills. So studios have learned to keep it cheap, keep it low to the ground and keep raking in the big bucks.



It's a little insulting to you as a viewer, if you think about it. Essentially it says, "You're not worth creating something that was more thought out."



Babel, on the other hand, seems to be death by introspection. While the concept of communication, the barriers to achieve it or the complete lack thereof is interesting conceptually, I have no interest in watching Brad Pitt and his stubble sweat it out in Morocco for two hours while Kate Blanchett cashes another check for depicting a woman bleeding out in a hut. It looks ponderously slow and IMPORTANT (!) and boring as all hell.



I'm fine with movies that make you think, but at the risk of sounding ignorant, I'm not a big fan of films set in the Third World. I don't know if it's because of the poverty they represent or just the phyical locations. But something about them just makes me uncomfortable. They never look like a place you would want to visit for 20 minutes let alone 2 hours. That dry, parched sensation. The grime. It's unsettling. That's probably the point, but if you're going to try and teach me about the difference between the haves and have-nots... well, there's no way for me to get out of this statement without sounding like a complete fool.



The more I think about it, I think it's just the desert locations. The barren nothingness. Truthfully, the scenes on Tatooine in the Star Wars movies are some of my least favorite for the same reason. Maybe I'm just turned off by hot temperatures?



At any rate, that's all I have for today. Don't forget that copies of "Theater Hopper: Year Two" arrived early and are in my hot little hands as we speak. Cami and I are doing our best to fill out envelopes and send off all the pre-orders before we go to Wizard World Texas on November 9. So if you'd like a copy for yourself, don't hesitate to order!



Have a great weekend!

Cami and I saw The Prestige on Saturday and it's still messing with my head. Good gravy, I love me some Christopher Nolan. I don't know what is about his directing style, be he shoots sceens like I envision them in my head. I don't know if that makes sense, but sometimes there are just directors that you vibe with. He has a big-budget sensibility, but it looks so effortless. Things aren't overladen with CGI and he doesn't look like he's trying to force something visually. He's the anit-Michael Bay. He shoots films like someone who is confident in their ability. I really dig his work.



Of course, half of the Nolan mystique is the material he chooses and The Prestige is pure gold. I loved the twists and turns. I loved that the showed you how some of the more simple tricks were done. It really sets you up for the larger tricks and leaves you scratching your head.



Like Memento, Nolan does a great job playing with time. Leaping backward and foreward through the narrative, he uses the diary entries of the two leads to tell the story. It takes a deft hand to tell the story almost entirely in flashback without the audience realizing it. The plot has twists and turns, but you never get lost. I don't want to talk too much about the plot, though because it is such a joy to watch the movie unfold at it's own pace.



I've been dying to talk to someone about this movie all weekend. After seeing it Saturday night, I had dreams about it in my sleep. I woke up on Sunday and it was still running through my mind. I keep thinking about it, even now. Very few movies these days keep their grip on me for this long. In fact, next to The Departed, I would say this was one of the most entertaining movies of the year.



The performances were great all around. I gotta give Hugh Jackman credit. Seeing him in movies like this do a good job of reminding me that this guy is way more talented than the X-Men films would lead you to believe.



That said, this isn't Jackman's movie. The Prestige belongs to Christian Bale. His brooding performance anchors the whole film.



It's funny. When Cami and I came home that night, I turned on the TV and Batman Begins was on HBO. It really got me thinking about Bale and the roles he chooses. Between The Prestige, Batman Begins and American Psycho, there is a clever little commentary about the nature of duality. The person you are professionally and the person you are in your free time. It made me wonder if this wasn't some kind of statement Bale was making in regard to the committment to his craft. Remember, this is the guy who dropped 60 pounds at the risk of his own health to play a deteriorating insomniac in The Machinist.



Actors don't typically raise these kind of thoughts in my head. I watch their performances and say either "That was good" or "That was bad." I never think about the larger artisitc statement. At least not with most actors these days. I look at someone like Bale and think to myself "This is an actor that's going to be around for a long time."



At any rate, those are my thoughts about The Prestige. I can't really get into much more without ruining it for you. Maybe those of you who have seen the film can chat me up in The THorum and we can trade theories and ideas.



Oh, okay. I can say this. Even though today's comic is (crudely) about Scarlett Johansson, hers was by far the least necessary performance in the film. You could have replaced her with any other actress and gotten the same result. Frankly, I thought Rebecca Hall's performance as Bale's jilted wife were far more affecting.



Sorry to end on such a down note, but it's really the most I can talk about without ruining things! Would everyone please go see The Prestige so we can have an open and honest conversation about the film?!



Talk to you all later!

 You guys probably remember about a week and a half ago when I made fun of a movie theater in Orange City, Iowa for changing the name of Jackass Number Two to Jackbutt Two on its marquee. It was a news story that appeared on TMZ.com on October 2 and was eventually picked up by more internet news outlets in the days that followed. We all had a good laugh at the expense of Orange City for participating in the kind of obtuse censorship that wasn't really protecting anyone because - when you cut to the heart of the matter - there was really nothing to be offended about.



Well, as always, there is more to the story.



Just as the comic says, it turns out that it wasn't censorship. Just some creative renaming when a high school student who worked at the theater ran out of the letter "S" to use in the marquee. You'll see in the picture on the TMZ.com article, that the theater is also running Little Miss Sunshine, The Illusionist, School for Scoundrels and Open Season. With no more of the letter "S" to draw from, the kid filling out the sign thought it would be funny to use the word "Jackbutt" instead of "Jackass" and an internet rumor was born.



I got a couple of e-mails from people who lived in Orange City, Iowa shortly after my comic ran over in the blogs at Juice - a semi-regional publication for young people in Iowa. They were pretty mad that I didn't bother to do any research to get the facts straight. I can understand their frustration, but it left me feeling a little defensive. After all, mine is a humor and entertainment site as much as it is a venue for my personal opinions. And, despite successful appearances, I don't exactly have the time or the resources to start calling people in Orange City looking for the scoop. As a satirist, I am not beholden to the same level of journalistic integrity some might hope for.



That said, I'm never too big to admit when I'm wrong and such is the case here. Sorry, Orange City! I didn't have all the facts! I hope you can accept this comic as an olive branch and I promise to do a little fact checking the next time I deal on an entire small town!



It's funny, though. There was really no stories online that dug any deeper than what TMZ had originally reported. After getting the first few angry missives from the Orange Citians, I was only able to find small blurbs that talked about the lack of the letter "S" in the marquee and that typically came in the comments section of sites posting the story. I guess, if anything, I hope I can give a wider venue to the people of Orange City to have their side of the story told when people pop open Google and type in "Orange City + Jackbutt."



Switching gears, Wizard World Texas is coming up on us soon and I plan on attending.  The big reason I'll be showing down there is to launch "Theater Hopper: Year Two." You guys already know everything there is to know about the book, so I won't bore you with the details.



Today, I'm here to offer you something new. It's an opportunity for you to help support Theater Hopper and our fund-raising drive to help pay for the printing of Year Two while still getting something for yourself.



First, the original custom art auction I have running on eBay!

I stoll this idea from my good buddy Mitch. It seemed to be a winner for him, so I wanted to take a swing at it.



The concept is simple. Instead of drawing something that *I* like and auctioning it off to you guys, now YOU guys get to decide what I'll draw! Of course, highest bidder wins. So maybe you want me to draw you a custom Theater Hopper cast portrait. If you're the winner, I can do that! Maybe you don't want something that's Theater Hopper-related. Maybe you want me to draw you a unicorn rolling dice in the alley with bigfoot. If you're the winner, I can do that, too! You're only limited by your imagination.



The auction is up and running and ends this Friday. Bid early! Bid often!



Here's the second bit of news that I have, TRUMAN DOLLS!

You guys probably remember that we were giving away six of these dolls as part of a contest for those of you who pre-ordered "Theater Hopper: Year Two." Well, we got a lot of e-mails from people saying "I hope I win the doll! Are you going to be selling them in the store anytime soon?"



Well, now we are!



Cami stitched up a bunch of new dolls for me to take to the Minneapolis Fallcon a couple of weeks ago. We decided to use the convention as an opportunity to see how popular these bad boys could be. Turns out they were VERY popular! I manged to sell one to a punker totally cold. No lie! So you're going to want to get your hands on one of these. We only have 8 (eight) left and what we don't sell through the store, we're taking to Wizard World Texas where we're SURE to sell out. If you want one of these guys, get one now! They're going fast!



It's a real thrill to be able to sell these to you guys. I think largely because they are something that Cami made with love and it's really cool to think that something my wife made will be appreciated by a lucky someone out there. Theater Hopper is like our little Mom 'n Pop establishment and we consider ourselves lucky that you guys continue to check things out!



As always, shirts are on sale for $7.99 and baby doll tees are available for $9.99. If you haven't pre-ordered a copy of "Theater Hopper: Year Two," what are you waiting for? There are also a few sponsor advertising spots open - $10 for 30 days - so be sure to take advantage of that.



Remember, all profits go toward helping pay the printing costs of "Year Two." I didn't make as much as I was hoping at the Minneapolis Fallcon and we're still a long ways from our goal! Every little bit helps!



Thanks again for your support!

It feels like a shame to let another Friday the 13th go by and not make reference to the seminar horror franchise. But really, would anyone miss it?



Cami and I saw The Departed on Monday night and were blown away. The performances were excellent and I feel like nearly everyone was firing on all cylinders. It was very interesting to watch Leonard DiCaprio bring this vulnerable and wounded performance to the screen. You really got a sense of his paranoia, like he felt he was being backed into a corner. The more I watched him, the more I forgot that he was actually a cop! Matt Damon did a great job in this respect, too. Upwardly mobile and polished, the audience forgets who he's really working for until he switches out the SIM card in his cell phone and gives Jack Nicholson a call.



Ah, yes. The cell phones. They were a bit of a distraction for me. Near the end of the movie, I wondered how much time I had spent watching people talk on cell phones. I'm getting totally distracted here, but it made me think about how the technology of cell phones has made movies different. I remembered Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. There was a scene right at the top of the movie, just before they head out on their quest for Sliders. Kal Penn's character stops halfway down the hall, away from the door of their apartment. "Dude, I forgot my cell phone." "You wanna run back and get it?" "No, we've gone too far."



That tiny scene is critical to the rest of the movie. Because without it, you'd be sitting in the theater asking yourself "Why don't they just use their cell phones and get directions?" It's come to the point that you have to write the convienence of the technology out of the plot in order to make the character's journey believable!



It also makes me think of a movie like Phone Booth - which would have been a great thriller 20 or 30 years ago. But with the advent of cell phones, a glass phone booth in the middle of downtown New York becomes a social anachronism. You wonder what it's even doing there when everyone in their grandma seems to be carrying a cell phone. It's distracting.



At any rate, speaking again about The Departed, I can't think of another film that so effictively used cell phones as a means of serving the plot. Their use helps ratchet up the tension. Is someone going to call during a raid that's going to tip someone off to the double-cross in play? When someone calls, who is on the other line? Is it the rat you're trying to smoke out of your organization? The film is very smart about utlizing the technology in a realistic way.



If I can get back on the performances for a second, I've established what a great job I think both DiCaprio and Damon did. But there are tons of great supporting performances in this thing. Martin Sheen finally gets an opportunity to drop that Presidential gravitas he's been carrying since The West Wing and gives a very grounded, fatherly performance wrapped in a bit of pathos. You always get the impression that there's something more going on beneath that cool exterior, but that he is genuinely concerned with DiCaprio's tightrope walk.



Mark Wahlberg was actully very impressive as Dingam. They wrote the character as an insufferable S.O.B., but it really made me like him. Not just the character. I started to respect Wahlberg a little more for the performance.



Big hat's off to Alec Baldwin for playing Ellerby. I thought every scene he was in was hilarious. Great comic relief played with a wise-ass edge. Who would have thought that in his days as a leading man, Alec Baldwin would go on to become this great, self-depricating pinch hitter in this big name movies. The man is the king of the cameo appearance. That scene during the stakeout when he's getting amped up and a few scenes later you see he's sweated through his shirt... I thought that was a brilliant detail. Funny, but real.



I also have to give it up to Ray Winstone as Mr. French. I don't even know who Ray Winstone is, but his performance as the gravel-voiced enforcer made me want to look him up on the Internet Movie Database and find out what else he's been in!



The only performance I can't really put my finger on is Jack Nicholson's. I thought he did a great job and - of course - he could read the phone book and make it entertaining. But I couldn't decide if a "less-is-more" approach would have served him better or worse. You get the sense that his interpretation of Frank Costello is a very hands-on guy. He kills, he exposes himself to dangerous business dealings, he gets his hands dirty. But how much of that is because he's a psychopath who enjoys doing that kind of stuff and how much of it is because he's a ganglord who is getting a little long in the tooth and wants to prove he's still a threat to his underlings? How much of it is bluster and how much of it is self-preservation.



Part of me wanted to think there was a lot more going on with Costello than we were meant to know and Nicholson's performance hints at that. But for every time he uncorked that trademark Nicholson unhinged demenor, it was almost distracting. With every over-extended arch of the eyebrow, I started to think of it as parody.



No one goes to Nicholson looking for nuance. He's not going to completely submerge himself in any role because - as a movie star - sometimes it's more interesting to watch his personality at work rather than the personality of the character he portrays.



I don't have a point, but sometimes I wonder how much of Nicholson's acting expertise is utilized to keep the bigger aspects of his personality in check. Maybe a role like Costello serves it right up the middle and let's Jack be Jack. For his sake and all our sakes.



That's pretty much all I have to say about The Departed. Of course you need to go see it. It's a fantastic film.