Comic Tom doesn't spend as much time on the internet as I do in real life. Probably because that's not a very dynamic setting in which to tell the story. Or perhaps it's because the people he talks to are indifferent to the news he wants to share. I suppose he should give up on relaying any Superman-related missives.



And speaking of related! Yes, it is true that someone I went to high school with is the real-life cousin of the new Superman, Brandon Routh. I've changed his name in the comic to protect the innocent. But, as you may have heard, Brandon Routh is from right here in Central Iowa. So there have been many news stories in advance of Superman Returns hitting theaters on Wednesday and every newspaper and local news network is parading out all of his relatives for that local angle.



This, of course, means nothing to no one. Famous people tend to come from all over the country. You don't hear Toronto bragging about how John Candy came from their town. But then again, that might just be due to the fact that Canadians are so polite.



I don't know. For Iowa, it's different. There's very little going on here and for someone to take the mantle of one of the most recognizable icons in world... well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a twinge of hometown pride.



I'm trying to imagine what it must be like for Routh's family. That's weird bragging rights. "Yeah, my cousin? He's Superman. Wanna go out later?"



Do you suppose Brandon will give them a cut of all that merchandizing action going on right now? Happy Meals and action figures and all that? Do you suppose he's unloading all this crap on his extended family as a means of taking care of them for the next 10 Christmas holidays?



Imagine what it must be like for the guy. In three days, he'll have gone from being totally unknown to being tethered to The Man of Steel forever. Kind of funny how this seems to happen with Superman but not with Batman in regards to film. I mean Christopher Reeve was unknown when they cast him in the first Superman movie back in 1978. But for Batman, it's been a string of "known" actors under the cape and cowl - Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney. The least well known of them all is probably Christian Bale - but only because they were looking to go back to square one with the character.



My point is, chosing unknowns to tackle Superman speaks to the enormity of the character. Even established celebrity can't overcome it. I think that's pretty cool.



I guess Routh was in-town today, not five minutes from my house, attending a showing of Superman Returns at the Century Theaters with 300 kids from the Boys and Girls Club of Iowa. It was a private event, so I wasn't able to get in. And even though the theater expected people to hang around to catch a glimpse of Routh, I didn't make the effort to check things out. I don't know if I should feel stupid about that, or not. Quite truthfully, it's probably the closest Hollywood is ever going to get to my front porch.

Does everyone know what I'm referring to when I talk about the "Not Gay" seat? It's that little buffer zone between two paranoid heterosexual men that says "I'm seeing a movie with this guy, but I'm not WITH this guy. We're not gay!"... Get it? The "Not Gay" seat.



Personally, I think is has to be one of the most ignorant things that some men do and I fail to understand it every time I see it. I've even been on the receiving end of the phenomenon, believe it or not!



When I was in college, sometimes a bunch of the guys from our dorm would pile into a car and see whatever blow-em-up action movie was dumbing down America at the time. We'd all buy our tickets and file into the theater. Sitting down next to each other, I was the second to last guy in the aisle. The last guy coming in behind me made a specific point not to sit directly next to me, but one seat away.



"I'm sorry," I said. "Does my breath offend you, or something? Or do you just need your space today?"



The guy was from a small farming community and didn't have a mean bone in his body. He wasn't some loner jerk putting on a front, either. But he was cooly pragmatic when revealing his homophobia. "I don't want people to think we're gay."



"Dude! You're in a group of 7 guys! We all just had dinner in the dining hall together and you sat right next to me! What is it about this theater and sitting next to me now that is going to give anyone the impression that we're gay? Dear Lord! Get over it!"



So I basically shamed him into sitting next to me. And then, in a typical display of college-aged maturity and sensitivity, I would occassionally rub his knee during the movie just to mess with his mind. He was good people, though!



Seriously, though. If you're a guy and you feel a compulsion to employ the "Not Gay" seat, get over yourself. Because you're not asserting your heterosexuality. Your displaying your ignorance and weakness to everyone. In fact, you're probably drawing more attention to yourself by NOT sitting next to the guy you came to the movie with than you would if you sat right next to him.



Honestly, if you're not going to sit nex to the guy, why allude to the fact that you arrived at the theater together at all. Why don't you sit in the back row and he can sit in the front row? Then NO ONE will be able to put two and two together! I mean, so long as we're forging totally skewed social behaviors...



At any rate, the "Not Gay" seat was a comic that I wanted to do for a really long time and the desire to do so was refueled when I saw a couple of high school guys pull this stunt when we went to see Cars a few weeks ago. The problem with doing the comic was that I really didn't have an ending for it. My commentary was more of a rant than anything humorous. Thank goodness for Brandon J Carr for providing me with the finest twist of a character's motivation that I could ever hoped for. I've been milking the gag for a while now. But really, does it ever get old?



I'll have some site stuff I'll want to talk about later in the day, so be sure to visit us again this afternoon for an update!