Theater Hopper
About Links Store Contact Thorum

Posts Tagged ‘windshield’

1 item.
Jul12

AN OLD MAN WAITING TO SLAP YOU

July 12th, 2004 | by Tom
  • Comics
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(9 votes, average: 7.67 out of 10)
AN OLD MAN WAITING TO SLAP YOU

Since it’s been a popular device as of late, today’s incentive sketch is a continuation of today’s strip. Click here to vote for Theater Hopper at buzzComix and to get another dose of some hard facts you don’t want to hear…

Today’s comic was pulled directly from the “It Happened To Us” file. Cami and I had gone to the early matinee of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and emerged into the blinding sun to discover an advertisement affixed to the drivers side rear-view mirror of my car.

The pisses me off for a myriad of reasons. Partially because I just got out of a movie where I was held as a captive audience to commercials for Coke and Calvin Klein jeans projected on-screen before the trailers! But mostly I’m irked because finding this piece of paper on my windshield means SOMEBODY TOUCHED MY CAR!!!

You don’t touch another man’s car. That’s common knowledge.

Actually, what cheeses me off the most is that when you’re first walking out of the theater, you’re on a bit of an emotional high. If the movie was good, that is. You’re strolling into the parking lot, talking about what you just watched. Laughing at lines in the movie you found funny. Generally reflecting on the good time you had.

Then you walk up to your car and it’s… “Huh?! Lose weight now… ASK ME HOW?!”

It yanks you right out of that happy place and puts you right on doorstep of Life’s petty annoyances. The things you went to the movie theater to ESCAPE FROM! And thus, this is why – in my universe – Reality is depicted as a bitter, old man waiting for you to turn around so he can slap you square across the face.

Of course, my first reaction is to dial the number left behind on the garishly pink slip of paper and to bitch out the first person who picks up the phone.

But then cooler heads prevail and reason starts to take hold. That’s when it dawns on you that – legally – these advertisers don’t have the right to leave things on your car without the permission of the property-holder. In this case, the charming Wynnsong theater.

So now your second reaction is to storm back into the theater and cram the piece of paper into the mouth of the first manager you’re put in front of.

But then you think about all those outstanding warrants you have and decide, “Eh. Probably for the best if I don’t add another one to the list.”

Ultimately, in a subtle form of protest, you toss the piece of paper on the ground like so much litter for some overworked, underpaid 15 year-old to sweep up on a slow day.

I don’t understand why this is an acceptable way to treat your customers. It’s like they are actively trying to find new ways to put more advertising in front of us like it’s some kind of test. “How long will it take before they snap?” I swear, if I’m in the men’s room and they sneak a vinyl sticker advertising the next Hillary Duff movie under the toilet seat, you can bet I’m pissing all over it in a form of protest.

Maybe I’m taking all of this too seriously, but I view movie houses as temples. Shrine to pop culture. It upsets me to see these venues and their customers treated so shoddily. ‘Makes me long for the doe-eyed simplicity of a movie house like the one in The Majestic. One theater. One screen. Martin Landau is the projectionist that lives in an apartment above the venue and the theater is operated by a kindly cross-section of quirky individuals.

└ Tags: advertisement, car, escapism, reality, slapped, windshield
[ No Comments ]

Archives

    Tweets by @tombrazelton
    • The Comic
    • The Author
    • The Cast
    • Supporting
      Theater Hopper
    • Press
    • Ranked Comics
    • Year Three Backers
    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Tag Cloud

    Adam Sandler advertising announcement auction Ben Affleck buzzComix Charlie Christmas costume death dream dress up DVD fire first appearance Guest Strip Halloween help Hollywood Iron Man Iron Man 2 Jimmy Joe and Monkey Joe Dunn Nothing Nice to Say Oscar Oscars Pixar podcast punch review Robert Downey Jr. Shia LaBeouf Spider-Man store theater The Triple Feature Top Web Comics trailer Truman Victor vote voting Wizard World Chicago Zach Miller
    HOME | ABOUT | LINKS | STORE | CONTACT | TOP RATED
    THEATER HOPPER by Tom Brazelton - The internet's longest running movie-themed webcomic. Updating every Monday, Wednesday and Friday since 2002. All content © Tom Brazelton, Theater Hopper Inc. 2002 - 2009 unless otherwise noted. Please seek author's permission before reproduction. // Privacy Policy

    Integrated by Frumph |Powered by WordPress with ComicPress |Subscribe: RSS