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Posts Tagged ‘Sylvester Stallone’

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Jul23

BUT WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SMELL-O-VISION?

July 23rd, 2003 | by Tom
  • Comics
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(9 votes, average: 7.56 out of 10)
BUT WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SMELL-O-VISION?

Despite what the comic may suggest, I’m actually a big fan of the Spy Kids franchise. The latest offering (in theaters this Friday!) has me very excited. In case you didn’t know – it’s in 3-D.

I wish more films had gimmick’s like this. Sometimes I lament that I wasn’t born in the B-Movie era of the early 50’s. I would have loved to have been there in those specially themed movie houses, decorated like Aztec temples or and Amazon jungle to watch a Saturday afternoon serial with horrid production values. The movie theater experience these days is like lambs to the slaughter.

Look at me. Talkin’ about the “old days” like I was there, or something.

“Why, in my day, you could buy a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, a penny whistle and still have enough left over to see an Errol Flynn movie before catching the trolly back home!”

Feh!

I’ll be “out of the office” the rest of this week. I’m leaving for Las Vegas on Thursday and won’t be back until next Monday. I plan on having a kick ass time with my parents and Cami. We’re staying at Treasure Island, which has a pirate theme. So even if I lose all my money gambling, I still have pirates!

For those of worried about getting your regular TH fix this Friday and next Monday need not worry. I put out the call for guest strips and got some great stuff in return.

In fact, you guys – the fans – were SO enthusiastic, I received several guest strips from which to choose! How do I plan on solving the problem? By posting all throughout my vacation!

So that means, in addition to getting a comic on Friday and Monday, you can expect comics on Saturday and Sunday, too! Aren’t I nice?!

WHO are the artist penning these modern marvels of publishing history? You’ll just have to check in to find out! I’ll also be posting my blogs ahead of time in conjunction with the guest strips, so you have that to look forward to as well.

I may have a few other issues to tackle before the day is out, but I think this is good for now. Maybe in the meantime, you can show me some vote love over at TWC for taking such good care of you!

└ Tags: commentary, Khan, popcorn, Ricardo Montalban, Spy Kids 3-D, Sylvester Stallone
[ No Comments ]
Jan25

EVERYONE HAS THEIR FAVORITE

January 25th, 2008 | by Tom
  • Comics
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 10)
EVERYONE HAS THEIR FAVORITE

I always enjoy putting together the comics where Tom enacts some kind letter-writing campaign. Not only for the anachronistic joy of longhand letter-writing in the age of e-mail, but because there is typically a child-like innocence to his requests. I think as I go on, I make these sessions more and more child-like, as evident by Tom’s slumped over the table posture in the third panel.

As for Rambo, what can I say? I’ve been sold. I’m excited to see this movie. You can thank the take-no-prisoners trailer for that.

Of course, it’s very possible that I will be screwed by this. The Alien vs. Predator: Requiem trailer was awesome, too – and look where that got me.

I don’t think anyone would ever confuse the Rambo movies for being plot-motivated. They’ve always been about brutality and ingenuity in combat. There’s very little to say about Rambo except he’s always pissed off and looks good without a shirt on.

To that end, I should be just as opposed to Sylvester Stallone revisiting the character as I was when he put on the gloves for Rocky Balboa.

But I don’t know. This time, it’s different…

Maybe my heart has softened somewhat, but I’m much more enamored by Stallone for refusing to let the fact that he’s 62 prevent him from doing these movies. I mean, action films are a young man’s game. He’s basically giving the middle finger to that and I kind of respect him for it!

When you think about the fact that between the Rocky and Rambo movies, Stallone’s marquee value alone continues to propel the franchises, it makes the producers of other long standing franchises like James Bond look like they’re asleep at the switch. I mean, there have been four actors to have played Bond since Stallone first played Rambo. They haven’t turned the character over to some younger actor. Stallone IS Rambo. No one else can play him. That’s saying something.

So kudos, Mr. Stallone. I’m giving you a pass on Rambo. Even though I know it will probably suck, even though Rocky Balboa is probably the better film and my stubborn attitude about baby boomers refusing to lay down and let the next generation through prevented me from seeing it, you’ve earned my respect.

Incidentally, for those of you wondering about the punchline to today’s comic, Over The Top is probably the best “worst” Stallone film ever made. The movie’s tagline alone sells it – “His name is Hawk. He’s fighting for his son.”

WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?!

Okay, let me spell it out a little bit more. Stallone plays a big-rig trucker who tries to reconnect with his son after his ex-wife, the boy’s mother passes away. Of course the kid is a brat who has been pampered by his mother’s rich family. Stallone is going to show this kid what’s-what and how to stand up for himself… (wait for it) THROUGH COMPETITIVE ARM-WRESTLING!

Best awesomely bad movie ever. Netflix it now.

So if Stallone is revisiting Rocky and Rambo, I demand to see a follow up to Over The Top. Your FANS demand it, Sly!

At any rate, that’s all I have for now. I know I promised you some reactions to the Oscar announcements on Wednesday and I didn’t get to them. But I guess it’s because I haven’t fully digested them yet.

I can give you the high-level overview, though. I was really surprised that Juno was nominated for Best Picture. Not that it isn’t a good movie, but what about Zodiac or The Assassination of Jesse James? I was pleased to see that Ratatouille was nominated for Best Animated Feature, but was shocked to also see it nominated for Best Original Screenplay. Incidentally, I think it’s a crock that Surf’s Up was nominated in the Animated Feature category while The Simpsons Movie was totally snubbed.

Beyond that… I don’t know. Not too many surprised. The most nominations were split between There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men. No real surprises there.

I guess it’s hard to get my hopes up about the Oscars when we don’t know if there will even be a televised broadcast to get wrapped up in. I didn’t mind when the writer’s strike put the kibosh on The Golden Globes. I don’t care what the Hollywood Foreign Press has to say anyway. But the Oscars hit a little closer to home. So I guess I’m just shielding myself from the eventual let down if the show doesn’t happen.

I probably need more time to think about it, but that’s all I have for now. I hope everyone has a great weekend! See you here on Monday!

└ Tags: Over The Top, Rambo, Rocky Balboa, sequel, Sylvester Stallone
[ No Comments ]

TRAILER – THE EXPENDABLES 2

December 15th, 2011 | by Tom
Posted In: Bonus Materials

The first trailer for The Expendables 2 came out yesterday. It’s so manly, I want to run my fingers through its chest hair.

For a big action movie, this trailer’s a little week. Just a buncha name. Then again, it’s a teaser trailer and the actual movie doesn’t come out until August 17, so what do you want?

It’s funny that I bristle at stunt casting in movies like Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve. But I’m TOTALLY okay with a movie that stars Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damm, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Liam Hemsworth.

Okay, maybe not Hemsworth. I can take him or leave him.

Actually, I think I’m probably most excited about seeing Dolph Lundgren on screen. Yeah, I know he was in the first one. I just love that crazy Swede!

Who’s YOUR favorite Expendable? Leave your comments below!

└ Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damm, Jet Li, Liam Hemsworth, Randy Couture, Sylvester Stallone, Terry Crews, The Expendables 2, trailer
[ 7 Comments ]

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VEINS AND SINEW

December 29th, 2011 | by Tom
Posted In: Bonus Materials

Today a still from Sylvester Stallone’s forthcoming Bullet to the Head was released and I’m kind of unsure how I feel about it.

Bullet to the Head, Sylvester Stallone, gross

Please keep in mind that this man is 65 years-old. He’s in phenomenal shape, don’t get me wrong. I’m jealous and humbled as any man with a rotting gut full of Cheetos can be. But I’m not sure if Stallone’s physique is something we should be celebrating or not.

He’s all veins and sinew. He looks like Iggy Pop, or something – only less leathery and more plasticized. He looks like he was wrapped in cellophane and spent about 4 hours in a steam room before taking that picture.

Maybe I’d be a little more impressed with how Stallone looks if I didn’t know he was busted for importing steroids into Australia a few years ago.

For those curious, Stallone plays a New Orleans hitman who teams up with a cop played by Jason Statham to take down a mutual enemy. The film comes out April of next year.

└ Tags: Bullet to the Head, gross, Sylvester Stallone
[ No Comments ]

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