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Dec15

THE POSTERIOR EFFECT – PART I

December 15th, 2003 | by Tom
  • Comics
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(8 votes, average: 8.75 out of 10)
THE POSTERIOR EFFECT – PART I

This is the first of a three-part story arc celebrating The Return of The King and the gluteal fortitude it will require to sit through it.

I’m really looking forward to the film, but Cami is dragging her heels. I can’t understand why. She said she didn’t like The Fellowship of The Ring (understandable considering its lengthy exposition), but she admitted to actually enjoying The Two Towers. This is like The Matrix Revolutions all over again. Well, I hope not literally…

I think Cami doesn’t have a problem with the movies, per se. But has an aversion to the extreme displays of nerdery on the opening nights of these kinds of fan boy movies. I swear we saw a guy who looked exactly like Gandalf when we went to see The Two Towers last year.

I’ll probably end up playing The Guilt Card. Cami made me go see Something’s Gotta Give on Sunday night. Fair is fair.

Truth be told, the movie wasn’t that bad. It was very sharply written and well directed. Although I take issue with the kind of environments writer/director Nancy Meyers tends to place her characters in.

All of the people in her films are very rich and have impeccable taste. Their houses are spotless and look like they’ve sprung to life from the pages of an interior decorating magazine. If you peek into the kitchen of any one of these individuals, you’ll often find copper pots hanging from some kind of rack over an island. I like to call her work “The Copper Kettle Comedies”. Just turn to The Father of the Bride 1 and 2, the 1998 Parent Trap remake and What Women Want for the proof.

As far as Something’s Gotta Give is concerned, I liked the performances. As always, Jack Nicholson is the reason to go. It’s fun to watch him playing off his aging Lothario role. He shows a great deal of vulnerability in his performance. You can tell his characters thoughts on growing older are issues Jack has dealt with in his own experience.

One thing I can’t get over is how many older couples there were in the audience. This film is definitely skewing older. You could smell the Brill cream and rose perfume in the air. I think we were the youngest couple in the place.

During the scenes where Jack and Diane Keaton were kissing, cavorting or being intimate, I was immediately taken out of the picture. My attention kept turning to all of the older people in the crowd and wondering what they thought. Every time the two actors kissed, it was almost if I could hear them thinking “Oh, how nice to see people *our age* getting it on in the movies!” or something to that effect. I surmise this must have been what it felt like to sit in on a screening of Cocoon when it first came out. I know seeing Diane West naked is an image that’s going to stick with me for a long while – and not in a good way. What is up with Jack pairing up with older actresses who are stripping down to their birthday suits? He did it to us last year with Kathy Bates in About Schmidt, and now this?

I’m being more harsh on the movie than I should be. There really isn’t a lot to be critical over. If you can’t get into Return of the King on Wednesday, go see Something’s Gotta Give. It’s a very smart, mature picture that you’ll feel good about seeing afterward. Honest.

└ Tags: butt, Christmas, coal, diamon, Lord of the Rings, present, Return of the King, workout regimen
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May05

IT’S NOT A DOLL! IT’S AN ACTION FIGURE!

May 5th, 2004 | by Tom
  • Comics
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(11 votes, average: 8.45 out of 10)
IT’S NOT A DOLL! IT’S AN ACTION FIGURE!

Today’s comic springs from truth, to a degree. It was actually ME who was in Toys R’ Us this weekend when I spotted this handsome fellow – a 12″ Deluxe Van Helsing figure. Not sure what’s going on with that expression. He looks a little more constipated rather than ready to vanquish evil.

Anyway, I saw this figure and I was trying to imagine who is buying them? The idea of Cami buying one for herself to swoon over was too funny to pass up. Combing its hair like a Barbie? C’mon!

If I recall correctly, Cami’s not much of a Hugh Jackman fan in real life. It’s understandable since her only context of the thespian is as Wolverine in the X-Men movies, which she doesn’t much care for. Getting her to see Van Helsing this weekend could be tricky, but I think the lure of an “event” movie will be enough to circumnavigate any hesitation.

Is it just me, or do these “summer” blockbusters seem to be coming earlier each year? If you went by Hollywood’s clock, summer starts sometime at the end of April. They must share the same timetable as the shopping malls that start celebrating Christmas in October.

That’s all for now. I’m tired. Like “dark-circles-under-my-eyes-since-5:00-P.M.” tired.

Later, cats.

└ Tags: action figure, doll, hair, Hugh Jackman, present, Toys R' Us, Van Helsing
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