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Apr16

PUNISHMENT, INDEED

April 16th, 2004 | by Tom
  • Comics
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(9 votes, average: 8.67 out of 10)
PUNISHMENT, INDEED

The Punisher comes out today along side Kill Bill Vol. 2. Why Artisan decided to release their revenge movie on the same day as the highest profile revenge movie in history is beyond me. They should have released it on the same day Julia Roberts or Meg Ryan releases some chick flick. I know the thought of seeing something by one of those two actresses would make ME think of revenge. It would have been brilliant counter-programming.

I like the idea of a new Punisher movie – especially in light of the crap-fest that was the Dolph Lundgren version of 1989. The fact that they were able to produce a costume with the Death’s Head skull this time around already makes it 90% better than it’s predecessor.

But at the same time, I find myself questioning a lot of the choices they’ve made for this film.

If you’re not familiar with the story, it’s standard revenge flick material. Frank Castle is a former government killer. One day, mobsters murder his wife and son. With nothing left to live for, Castle takes his government training and uses it to hunt down and kill the criminal element – indiscriminately, where ever it may reside.

Originally, the character was created in the comics as a response to the escalating crime rate of the 1970’s. Fittingly, his base of operations was New York City, which – at the time – didn’t have the best reputation concerning the safety of its boroughs.

As The Punisher mythology grew, his anti-hero stature fit like a glove in the hardcore Big Apple. His all black costume was a perfect reflection of the gritty underbelly of a festering city.

Cut to 2004. A new Punisher movie is being made. Do the producers decide to capitalize on this visual metaphor of a decaying man cutting out the cancer of a decayed city? No. They move him to SUNNY FLORIDA!

Maybe I have a limited understanding of “America’s Wang” (geographicall speaking), but it doesn’t seem like ol’ Frank is going to have the opportunity to stalk rain-soaked alleyways when there’s a Cuban disco right around the corner. I’m sorry, but just the thought of all those art deco buildings, neon and HUMIDITY just turns me off.

THE PUNISHER IS NOT A SUNNY CHARACTER!

And not to give away too much of the plot, but Castle knows from the get-go who killed his family. A powerful businessman named Howard Saint, played by John Travolta, orders the hit. In the comics, Castle’s family was caught in the cross-fire of a gangland shoot out.

You don’t have to be a psychic to see that in the movie version Saint will meet his maker at the hands of The Punisher. But what this does is completely strip our protagonist of a motive. In the comics, the random nature of his family’s death leads Castle on a quest to wipe out the ENTIRE criminal element. But if you finally got even with the man that killed your family, wouldn’t that be enough? If Artisan is hoping to make a franchise out of this, they’re going about it in a lousy way.

Advance reviews are saying that The Punisher doesn’t pull away from some of the more intense scenes of violence. It shouldn’t considering the source material. That, at least, gives me hope. And while I had reservations at first, I think Thomas Jane will make a very good Punisher.

Although my hopes aren’t very high, I’m still counting on seeing The Punisher this weekend. If anything but to wipe clean the memory of that aforementioned Dolph Lundgren version, which still haunts me to this day. However bad this new movie is, it can’t possibly be as bad as THAT version!

└ Tags: bubbles, bullets, Florida, guns, Miami, Miami Vice, New York, Punisher
[ No Comments ]
Jul28

THE CHARMING PSYCHOPATH ROUTE

July 28th, 2004 | by Tom
  • Comics
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars
(8 votes, average: 7.75 out of 10)
THE CHARMING PSYCHOPATH ROUTE

If you’re digging on the Reservoir Dogs action in today’s comic, click here for a buzzComix incentive sketch featuring more of Tom as the nefarious Mr. Blonde.

Is the story that Jared mentions in today’s comic true? You betcha. It happened a couple of days ago in St. Petersburg, Florida. A woman was maced by a security officer for answering her cell phone during the opening credits of Catwoman.

Frankly, macing the whole audience in attendance probably would have been a good idea. It would teach them never to see stupid garbage like Catwoman ever again. Y’know… as long as we’re macing people.

I know today’s comic is maybe a little more gritty and violent than you’re used to, but when I read the cell phone story, I was immediately reminded of the annoying Verizon “Can You Hear Me Now?” ad campaign and wanted to spoof it. The grisly scene in Reservoir Dogs where Michael Madsen’s sadistic Mr. Blonde lops off the ear of a cop he’s torturing seemed to fit for some odd reason.

THorum is still down. We’re just waiting for the DNS transfer to kick in before we open things up again. Once we’re rolling, all registered THorumites can expect an e-mail from yours truly with the good news.

Not much else to report. I have some thoughts on the movies coming out this weekend – there are a lot. But I have a killer migraine that I’ve been trying to shake all day and I’m thinking now might be a good time to just go to bed.

Take it easy.

└ Tags: Can you hear me now, cell phone, couple, ear, Florida, mace, Mr. Blonde, Reservoir Dogs, Tarantino, torture, Verizon
[ No Comments ]

WE MACE YOU BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU

July 29th, 2004 | by Tom
Posted In: Blog

If any of you are interested in reading more about the Florida couple who was maced by an off-duty police office as mentioned in Wednesday’s comic, The Smoking Gun has a nice little expose that includes their mug shot photos and a copy of the police report.

└ Tags: cell phone, details, Florida, mace, report, theater
[ No Comments ]

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