I was kind of surprised to read this story about a recently unearthed Marilyn Monroe sex tape sold for $1.5 million. Not so much because Marilyn Monroe had a sex tape. Marilyn Monroe was ALL ABOUT sex. It was her image. She entered into film history with the persona she created.

More shocked because… I don’t know. I guess because celebrities did a better job keeping that stuff under wraps back in the day. Or maybe the media was just more respectful.

I’m also shocked that someone would cough up $1.5 million for 15 minutes of 16mm footage. I thought I was crazy for collecting Iron Man stuff. This guy takes the cake!

Thank goodness she’s not alive anymore. It would be like finding out your grandmother made a sex tape. Blech.

Then again, if she were still alive, the footage probably wouldn’t have found its way into the hands of a wealthy memorabilia collector.

The whole story is quite fascinating to me. The footage was filmed in the 50’s, but wasn’t discovered until the 60’s when an informant turned it over to FBI top brass J. Edgar Hoover. Turns out Hoover was trying to prove that the gentleman on the other end of Ms. Monroe’s… *ahem*… affections was either John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy. Meanwhile, the informant kept a copy for himself (who wouldn’t?) and this was the copy sold this week.

This completely tweaks the conspiracy theory quadrant of my brain. Think of what a great story you could tell about this footage? I mean, not only for the salacious parts, but for the historical context. I bet you could even do it for laughs. Did you guys ever see Dick with Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams? A very under-appreciated comedy set during the Nixon Watergate scandal. They had a pretty humorous take on Deep Throat and the missing 18 and a half minutes in the Watergate tapes. Netflix it if you haven’t seen it.

What’s really kind of making me think is how the guy who bought the footage came into possession of it. I mean, beyond the monetary transaction. Like, are their weird underground circles for wealthy businessmen who trade in antiquity and obscure pop culture artifacts? Do they have access to some kind of creepy eBay that I haven’t been made aware of? What’s this guy’s story?

The mind boggles.

Not much else for you today. Have a good one! I’ll see you here on Friday!

↓ Transcript
Did you hear that a recently uncovered sex tape featuring Marilyn Monroe was sold for 1.5 million dollars?


I will have to monitor the internet for evidence of this footage.

For its historic value of course.

Yeah? Well, good luck. The buyer says he won't release it "out of respect."