After seeing Spider-Man 3 this weekend, posting my review on Monday and weathering the 90+ comments and controversy it generated, I figured it was about time we got back to business and had a little fun with the comics again.

Real quick synopsis of the whole review thing – I feel it was a success. I mean, it was my first “official” review for the site and by “official” I mean “first review instead of a comic” and it really got people talking. Some people were totally on board with me – thanking me, even, for giving voice to the same frustrations they had with the film. Some people politely disagreed with me and pointed out holes in my logic. I was totally cool with that. Like I said, it was the first review and (admittedly) not the most well written. So I appreciate the opportunity for constructive feedback.

Then there was… the third category of responses. Wherein people reacted so violently against my review, they made sure to tell me the review sucked, that I personally sucked, that I knew nothing about comics, that Theater Hopper was never funny, the jokes have always been terrible, that I’m a poseur and I’m off their bookmarks list forever.


I don’t want to dwell on it too much, but that kind of criticism really caught me off guard. I mean, I know it’s the internet and there are always going to be people mouthing off. But I never understood the logic of someone who lashes out with every personal insult they can come up with because they disagree with you about a movie, or an album or whatever. I mean, unless you’re Sam Raimi, what’s effective about telling me how much I suck and that you’re never visiting the site again like I owe you something? That’s just being mean for no good reason. All the best to you, I guess. If you blow up like that over matters of opinion, I just hope you don’t end up kicking the cat or murdering someone when it’s about something that’s actually important!

That said, many thanks to those who left messages of support. Like I said, I was caught off guard by some of the comments, but I like the idea of doing more reviews because it really got people participating in the comments thread and, well… that’s kind of the point! So, don’t worry – a couple of sourpusses haven’t run me off from doing reviews! If anything, I’m going to take the experience and make sure the next review is that much better!

At any rate, to take a step away from that controversy, I wanted to do a comic that was pulled from real life. Orignally, this comic was supposed to go up on Tuesday with another new comic going up on Wednesday. But since I’m at home on vacation this week, I decided to space things out a little and stay true to the Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. So the comic that was originally meant for today will run Friday. Be sure to check it out!

Today’s comic was taken almost word for word from a conversation Cami and I had before going to see Spider-Man 3. Yes, I do own a t-shirt with the black costume logo on it and yes, I did wear it to the movie. Cami totally rolled her eyes and named checked PCU and my reply was as it is in the comic. Slimming lines were my best comeback.

Tom - Spider Man black costumeDon’t believe me that I own the black costume logo shirt? Check it, true-believers!

That one is for all the haters that said I don’t know anything about comics!

I was psyched to see this movie and don’t let me dour review convince you otherwise. I mean, why else would a 30 year-old man dress up like this in public, let alone in public advertising “Yes, I am wearing a Spider-Man shirt to a Spider-Man movie? What of it?”

I was actually so excited to see Spider-Man 3 that I was totally suckered into buying the combo meal at the concession stand that came with a “collectible cup!” Any keepsake I could get my grubby little mitts on, y’know?

During the movie, I was totally amazed at how many parents brought their little kids with them. Cami and I caught an early matinee at 12:30 on a Sunday, so I’m sure that had something to do with it. But looking around, Cami commented on all of the kids and asked me “If Henry were a few years older, would you bring him to this movie.” I told her in all honesty, no, I wouldn’t. I mean, I know it’s technically a kids movie. Well, okay a kids AND geek movie. But it’s PG-13 for a reason, right? Plus, it’s got Venom in it and Venom used to freak me out when he was a flat drawing in a comic book. I could only imagine how much scarier he would be leaping toward you with the fangs and the spittle and whatnot. No way would I bring Henry to this movie if he was 5 or 6 years old.

But anyway, there we are, sitting in the movie surrounded by kids.

Some of it was cute. When Spider-Man was web-slining through the city, a little girl sitting next to Cami would lean over to her Mom and say “That’s dangerous!” Some of it was annoying. Like the other little girl over my right shoulder with her family of eight who would not. shut. up! At one point, one of the characters in the movie had a line of dialogue where they used the word “stupid.” This little girl went on and on asking her father if movies could use the word “stupid” – like it was a swear word or something.

Later on, immediately after the scene where Topher Grace is consumed by the Venom symbiote, the little girl is murmuring over and over “I want to go home. I want to go home.” I’m thinking to myself, “Great. Venom freaked her out and now she’s going to be scared out of her wits for the rest of the movie. Take her home already!”

No sooner do I finish that thought when I hear what sounds like a burp from the row behind me. Then another burp. Then a wet slap on the linoleum floor. Then the sickly smell of SweetTarts in the air.

The little girl threw up. Whoops! Should have listened to her, Dad!

What I found priceless was the reaction of the woman who was sitting a few seats over from me, roughly directly in front of the blast zone. She hunched her shoulders up and kind of brushed her shoulders gingerly, reluctantly feeling for trace elements of vomit on her sleeve. She kept looking over her shoulder like the second wave was coming.

It wasn’t long before the little girl and her family left the theater and I thought to myself “Yeah! Alright! No more talking during the movie!” Then I felt really bad about myself because I’m sure the family was embarrassed and the little girl probably felt terrible, too.

After the movie, Cami and I were walking out and she said “Can you believe that little girl threw up like that?” I looked back at her and said, “You know it’s going to happen to us one day.”

And it probably will.

At any rate, after the movie, we picked up Henry who was being watched by my parents and went home. We put Henry to sleep and I was left to quietly contemplate the movie as I outlined the review in my head. I looked to my “special edition collectors cup” I had purchased from the concession stand for inspiration, but drew nothing from it.

Spider-Man 3 collector's cup

The rest is history.

Have a great Wednesday!

↓ Transcript
Okay! I’m ready! Let’s go see Spider-Man 3!

Please tell me you aren’t wearing that.

What’s wrong with it?

It’s bad enough you’re wearing the mask. But the shirt makes you the guy who goes to the rock concert wearing the shirt of the band he’s about to see.
C’mon, Tom. You saw PCU. Don’t be “that guy.”

I have a very valid reason for wearing this shirt, I’ll have you know.

Okay. Let’s hear it.

The white vertical lines are very slimming, thank you very much!