Considering the success of Cradle 2 The Grave, it looks likely we’ll see more East Meets West crime capers with da hip-hop flava!


I could have told you 10 minutes into watching Romeo Must Die that this was going to be a really obnoxious trend in movie making. Tossing together rap stars and martial arts heroes may sound like a good idea on paper, but when it boils down to it, the whole scenario is just another marketing gimmick.

They whip up some lame ass premise for the rappers so they don’t have to do any complicated acting or emoting, and then kung fu guy picks up the slack by demonstrating a dazzling array of skills and stunts. If you ask me, people like Jet Li really get the short end of the stick in this arrangement. They should be getting top billing in a movie of his own instead of playing second fiddle the DMX.

Then again, he kind of blew that opportunity with Black Mask and The One, soooo…

:: switching gears ::

Just in case you missed the memo Friday, I will be out of town the week of March 10, so you won’t get a new strip from me until Monday, March 17.

However, because I care so much about you, my ever-loving fans – YES ,YOU! – I’ve planned a week of guest strips to tide you over. I’ve asked a handful of popular creators in the community to lend a hand, but I don’t want to jinx my luck and say who until I’ve got their work in my hot little hands. Hopefully I’ll have some names I can start dropping later this week.

You also won’t want to miss my spectacular return because we’re planning on unveiling the fantastic THEATER HOPPER DOCUMENTARY Jared shot maybe 3 months ago. Remember THAT? Yeah, well, we’re going to put it on the site the week of my return, so mark your calendars!

I was really worried about taking some time off, but I think this is all a blessing in disguise. It’s giving me an opportunity to take a breather while exposing everyone to some rock-solid work that’s been finding it’s way to my inbox. If you’re interested in submitting something, just drop me a line before 5:00 PM, this Friday the 14th. Get an early start because I have a maximum of five slots to fill and they’re going fast! I may open up Saturday and Sunday if there are a ton of submissions. The rest would go on the Fan Art section of the Bonus Materials page. Funniest material gets a spot front and center!

Thanks again to everyone who has been supporting Theater Hopper. It really means a lot, especially when it comes from the fans. I think this is going to be a lot of fun. Stay tuned!

↓ Transcript
Outtakes from the Jet Li, DMX action film Cradel 2 The Grace that you will never, ever see...

I am a Taiwanese cop.

I am an American gangsta.

I am here to retrieve diamonds that are, in truth, crystalline plutonium stolen from my country.

The same terrorists that have stolen your diamonds have also kidnapped my daughter. Clearly we should join forces.

That sounds good. And when we are finished, we can climb aboard my giant robot and fight space pirates in a distant galaxy.

Why not? It is about as believable as the situation we currently find ourselves in.