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Oct23

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE VICTORIA’S SECRET

October 23rd, 2002 | by Tom
  • Comics
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(14 votes, average: 6.50 out of 10)
THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE VICTORIA’S SECRET

If you think that today’s strip is some sort of late April Fool’s joke, then I suggest you check out this story.

Quite frankly, I’m sick with the idea that anyone would

A. Attempt a sequel to one of the most beloved family films of all time (does anyone remember the 10 car pile up of muppets that was Return to Oz?) and

B. Stick Drew Barrymore in the starring role of Dorothy. Never mind she’s 27 and Judy Garland was 17 when she played it. Oh, wait. You’ll probably turn her into some tough, business-minded executive that only learns a “life lesson” after a fanciful trip through Oz and reconnecting with childish innocence.

I think it would be more interesting if they sent her to the HBO version of Oz.

This is the kind of project that I can picture Drew getting really excited over. She was probably in her big-ass mansion, just having started her production company, chewing on the end of a pencil and trying to come up with a good property she could re-purpose as a vehicle for herself.

She probably thought, “Gee, I really loved The Wizard of Oz before I was strung out on coke at 11. I’ll take those happy memories, bastardize them and inflict them on an unsuspecting public!”

The point I’m making with today’s strip holds water, in my opinion because the only reason anyone will see this film is to check out Drew’s boobs.

Face it, honey. The apex of your career is when you flashed Letterman on his birthday.

Some of you might wonder why I spit so much venom at Drew. Most likely because I see her as the next in line of “girl-next-door” actresses who take their wholesome images and pad them further by developing smooshy movies I end up getting dragged to kicking and screaming.

Other actresses in this category would include Meg Ryan (although she’s a little long in the tooth) and the worst offender, Sandra Bullock. I really used to like Sandra Bullock back when she was in Demolition Man and Speed. She was a fresh face. Fun to watch. Then While You Were Sleeping happened. Then Hope Floats. Then Practical Magic. Then 28 Days. Then Miss Congeniality. I’m sure you get the picture.

And I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter how many films like Murder By Numbers you make, you’ve carved your peg, now sit in it.

Drew is falling into the same trap. Her popularity has afforded her some sway in the industry, and she ends up producing and starring in such obvious ego-centric pieces as Charlies Angels, Never Been Kissed and Driving in Cars With Boys (featuring the most flagrant misuse of Steve Zahn if there ever was one).

I guess it’s just difficult to watch actresses you like water down their appeal by churning out the same tapioca productions. Reese Witherspoon? I’m looking in your direction…

└ Tags: breasts, Drew Barrymore, sequel, The Wizard of Oz
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