Posts Tagged ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop’
2 items.
This comic is an amalgamation of sorts because everything about it is true, just not in the order that I’ve assembled it.
Producing today’s comic, it’s true that I had completely forgotten about Paul Blart: Mall Cop. When I was doing research Sunday evening, I was surprised to see it earned nearly $34 million this weekend. Who says Kevin James can’t open a movie?
Without seeing the movie, I can’t say how effective it was to name the lead character Paul Blart. But on paper, it reads like a totally desperate attempt by some writers to come up with the most pathetic fake name imaginable for laughs. I guess “Milhouse” was already taken.
James is a likable enough guy, but I’m getting tired of all the fat jokes. Play to your strengths, I suppose. But what happened to the insecure dude he played in Hitch? You know, an actual person? Clearly he has the talent to forge a fully-dimensional character. Heck, even the character from I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry was more fleshed out than this guy — and that movie was about as base and offensive as it gets!
I feel kind of bad for James that he’s starring in this 90-minute fat joke. It’s like he’s been banished to that corner of Hollywood reserved for fat guys and actresses over 40. “We’ll call you if we have anything for you.” Then again, he wrote the screenplay. So I can’t fell THAT bad for him.
Cami was kind enough to give me the hook in this week’s comic by pointing out that “Blart” rhymes with “Fart” and is therefore funny.
It’s absolutely true that fart jokes are her greatest weakness. I think I’ve mentioned this on the site before, but I’ve gotten Cami to laugh to the point of crying simply by saying the word “fart” in a funny, high pitched voice. I love that about her. She can be witty and classy one minute, but totally unable to control herself because of a fart joke the next. That’s what you need in spouse — someone who is multi-faceted.
Speaking of Cami, we’re kicking around the idea of having her blog on the site a few times a week.
I’ll be going back to school soon as I continue to pursue my Master’s in Communication Leadership and Cami thought it would be a good opportunity to contribute to the site while I’m away at class. And since we recently upgraded the site to WordPress, it’s never been easier to post content to the site.
Personally, I think it’s a great idea. Largely because I talk a lot about Cami and the movies we see. Sometimes I talk about what we disagree on. It would be nice if she could share her thoughts in her own words.
I’m curious what you guys think. Leave your feedback in the comments below!
In the meantime, Cami and I have the day off because of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. We’re going to go shopping for a new vacuum and see Last Chance Harvey while Henry is in day care for the morning. We haven’t been to the movies together in months, so this is a rare treat.
Talk to you soon!
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Apologies for the delayed blog post. But things have settled down and everyone is okay.
If you missed the earlier message, the blog was delayed because I was sitting in a walk-in clinic with Cami who was suffering from a 103° fever that she’s been battling on and off for the last three days.
Why didn’t I prepare the blog last night? Good question. Basically, it was the culmination of a handful of frustrations over the last few days.
As I mentioned, Cami has been sick since Monday. Fever, chills, exhaustion — the whole ball of wax. She went to the doctor on Monday, but they couldn’t diagnose her. It wasn’t strep, it wasn’t mono. It was something that was just passing through her system.
Cami being sick puts me on Henry Duty full time. I don’t mind it, but managing a 2 year-old is much easier when you have someone you can tag-team with. Monday night wasn’t bad, actually. I made him dinner, we played with toys, I gave him a bath and read him bedtime stories. Once he was settled down, I recorded our weekly broadcast of The Triple Feature. All routine.
Tuesday was… worse. The novelty of hanging out with Daddy wore off. Henry wanted his Mommy and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t be around him. Reminder: The is no reasoning with a 2 year-old. They want what they want and if they can’t have it, they wail.
That really makes you feel like a hero — When your chasing your child around the house trying to keep his shoes on his feet while he’s crying for his Mommy. At that point, you basically have to become a hard ass and say “Well, you’re already crying for no good reason, so we might as well continue doing things you hate and you can deal with it once I’ve buckled you into the car seat.”
I had a doctor’s appointment myself on Tuesday to have someone take a look at a head-to-toe rash I’ve been suffering from. Which, as it turns out, was an alergic reaction to an antibiotic I was taking to clear up a different skin condition!
That’s probably too much sharing. I’m sure your not interested in my rash. I’m just building a case for why Tuesday sucked.
So, I come back from the doctor’s appointment I took during my lunch break putting me behind on today’s comic which I had hoped to draw and ink over that hour. I put in my remaining four hours for the day and head out to the parking lot.
I try to start my car — nothing. The battery has died. Meanwhile, Cami is still at home sick and can’t drive to pick Henry up from day care. I call my inlaws who were planning on coming over to our house yesterday evening anyway to help Cami with Henry while I was at my night class and they swing by to pick him up on their way over (thank goodness they have a car seat in their car already!)
Meanwhile, I sit in the freezing cold waiting for a tow truck service that I’ve called to find me in the parking lot for a half hour. He gives the car a jump and charges me $50 for the trouble. Talk about highway robbery! But what can you do?
At this point I only have a half hour to make it to my night class before it starts. So my dinner comes from a vending machine. The class itself was fine and luckily my car started up again afterwords. By the time I got home, took a hot shower and had a proper dinner, it was 10:30 and I hadn’t started on the comic yet.
Some penciling, inking, scanning, coloring, shading, and lettering later and it was 3:00 in the morning. Blogging was out of the picture.
I went to bed anticipating about 3 hours of sleep before having to get up and go back to work. Of course Truman decides he wants to go out at 4:00 in the morning, so that kind of shot that idea down.
Went back to bed, got up again at 6:00 and Cami said she needed to go to the doctor again after waking up in a cold sweat. We put Henry in the car and took him to daycare before Cami and I turned around and went to the walk-in clinic.
Again, the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with her. They did a battery of tests, even took a blood sample. Basically the only thing they learned is that her white blood cell count was a little low and that typicall means your body is fighting a virus of some kind. There are no antibiotics to fight it. You’re body just has to work it out.
And that brings us to the present!
I’m glad Cami doesn’t have anything serious like mono or… goodness knows what. And I’m sure things will get back to normal soon. But the last 24 hours have been a challenge and that’s pretty much all that’s on my mind at the moment. Truthfully, I’m still kind of cheesed about the $50 charge for a battery jump! But today is a new day.
Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to pass out.
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