I always feel like I’m taking a risk by relying on a visual gag for the punchline of a comic. You never know how it’s going to play. But I was so much more interested in coming up with a list of fake names for Valentine’s Day, I decided to throw caution to the wind.
Incidentally, do you know how long it takes to make a high-res recreation of an IMDB page? Longer than it takes to draw, ink, color and shade two panels of this comic – I’ll tell you that much!
Obviously I’m having a little fun by suggesting Sgt. Slaughter is in Valentine’s Day. But as ridiculous as the cast list is for this thing, he might has well be.
Cami only gave you a sample of who shows up in this movie. Check out the names attached to this thing:
Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, Hector Elizondo, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Taylor Lautner, George Lopez, Shirley MacLaine, Emma Roberts, Julia Roberts, and Taylor Swift.
Those are 19 big names. A handful of these actors are Oscar winners! That’s ri-donk-ulous! What kind of dirt does director Garry Marshall have on these people to group them together in an American knock-off of Love, Actually? It’s scary how much clout that guy has. Must be carry-over from his days as a writer on Laverne & Shirley.
I was actually kind of open to the idea of seeing Valentine’s Day until I heard Garry Marshall was directing it. As a director, his work is all about schmaltz and playing it safe. Look at his directing credits over the last 10 years – The Other Sister, Runaway Bride, The Princess Diaries, Raising Helen, The Princess Diaries 2 and Georgia Rule. I look at these films and the women in the audience who he targets and cynically assume that he must think all women are stupid.
Critical reaction to Valentine’s Day has been overwhelmingly negative with a 16% rotten rating at Rotten Tomatoes as of this writing. If it is at all a success at the box office, it will be based on its star power and simplistic branding. “A movie called Valentine’s Day being released on Valentine’s Day weekend? I simply must go!” This is why I scold Rob Zombie for not getting his Halloween remakes released closer to Halloween. People will go because they feel like they’re supposed to go.
I don’t know the details of the film, but I think I know the premise. If it’s about Valentine’s Day, certainly it’s about finding love or that special someone on the titular day and the frustrations that come along with that.
Does anyone truly believe that Jennifer Garner or Bradley Cooper would have trouble finding a date on Valentine’s Day? I mean, MAYBE Topher Grace. But c’mon!
Cami and I haven’t talked much about the film, but I can kind of sense that she’s not interested in seeing it. Instead, for Valentine’s Day, we’re going to leave the kids with my folks and have a nice dinner. That’s going to be about it. That’s just fine with me!
What are your Valentine’s Day plans? Do you plan on seeing Valentine’s Day the movie? If so, is there a particular actor that drew you in? Do you feel the large cast of actors will be helpful or a hindrance to the movie? Leave your comments below!
According to All Headline News, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are boycotting the Oscars this year because they were offended by co-host Anne Hathaway’s impersonation of Holmes when she hosted Saturday Night Live in November.
Quote All Headline News:
A source told the Daily mail, “Tom and Katie don’t want to cross paths with Anne. They used to be friends and took Anne to a Tina Turner concert in 2008 when Anne split up from her boyfriend Raffaello Follieri.”
“Katie feels they were really supportive at a difficult time so she feels let down that Anne took to national TV to make fun of her.”
“Anne didn’t even warn her it was going to be on TV.”
If you missed the sketch in question, Hulu still has it up on their site:
Personally, I thought the impersonation was fairly accurate and I remember it being well-received when reviews of Hathaway’s turn as host came in.
This leaves me to wonder, “Exactly how thin-skinned are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?” Considering the rest of the world now thinks of Katie Holmes as some kind of brainwashed Stepford Wife, Hathaway’s impersonation of her was fairly tame. To me, it came of as much more playful – almost affectionate.
If nothing else, this raises Hathaway’s cool-quotient in my book by, like, a million points. Pissing off Tom Cruise for fun and profit? WIN!
What’s your take?
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The internet is ON FIRE right now due to the press release sent by Warner Bros. announcing that Anne Hathaway has been added to the cast of The Dark Knight Rises as Selina Kyle – otherwise known at Catwoman.
Tom Hardy (who we already knew was involved in production) was also confirmed to play Bane – the villain who let loose all of the prisoners in Arkham Asylum before wearing down Batman’s defenses and breaking his back in the Knightfall story arc from the early 90s.
If you’re not familiar with the comics, Bane was also the goofy looking muscle-bound goon from 1997’s Batman & Robin and was previously played by professional wrestler Jeep Swenson.
The online consensus seems to be largely positive surrounding these announcements. Although I most closely associate Hardy with his reedy, sniveling performance as Praetor Shinzon in the much-loathed Star Trek: Nemesis, if you’ve seen him in Bronson or Warrior, you know that he’s capable to bulking up. I’m not worried about him.
It’s Anne Hathaway I’m scratching my head about.
The appeal of Catwoman has always been a strong mix between her street smarts and pin-up sultriness – neither of which Hathaway possess.
Don’t get my wrong. I like Anne Hathaway as an actress. I think she’s affable and makes good choices. I’m just not sure if she’s the right fit for Catwoman. She’s too “girl-next-door” to me. She’s not aggressive enough in my eyes to do the character justice.
I guess I don’t know who I would have cast from the current crop of Hollywood starlets for the role. Gina Gershon from about 10 years ago would have been good. Too old now.
Truthfully, Maggie Gyllenhaal would have been a good choice if she hadn’t already been cast (and killed) in The Dark Knight. She seems resilient and the product of an urban upbringing. And if you’ve seen Secretary, you KNOW she can do sultry.
Alas, it’s not to be.
More than anything, I guess I’m confused by the choices director Christopher Nolan is making for his villains. Catwoman and Bane? I mean, if you played them right, both characters could be seen as emotionally manipulating Batman. The original draft of Bane in the comics had him paired as a strategic equal to The Dark Knight. But over time, his cunning has been buried under a mountain of muscle that other writers have handcuffed him to.
I would think that a filmmaker as cerebral as Nolan would have had a field day with The Riddler or Hugo Strange. And by the way… what happened to those rumors?
I don’t know. I guess if Nolan sees something in the capability of these actors, then I have to trust him. But my gut is telling me this is a misfire.
What’s your take? Leave your comments below!
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I knew about five minutes into James Franco and Anne Hathaway’s opening monologue at the Oscars last night that we were in for a long evening. Scripted within an inch of it’s life, their words hung in the air momentarily before dropping like lead weights at their feet. The monologue became symptomatic of what would be an odd and listless ceremony. One that commanded the bare minimum of my attention.
Franco has done a good job of cultivating a very relaxed, go-with-the-flow vibe in the last year and a half. But he was practically sleepwalking through his hosting duties. That is, when he could be bothered to show up at all. From where I was sitting, it looked like Anne Hathaway was doing all the heavy lifting.
As a matter of fact, she may have been over-exerting herself. Yelling with unrestrained glee in a desperate pitch to compensate for Franco’s lazy-eyed delivery. Hathaway literally yelled “WOOOOO!” like a sorority girl after almost every presenter she introduced. When she was giving high fives to the kids from P.S. 22 in Staten Island after their performance of “Over The Rainbow” at the end of the show, I was convinced the force of the blow was going to knock some of them off the stage. Franco may have been on auto-pilot, but at least he was being authentic. Not that I blame her for trying, but Hathaway was trying way, way to hard to inject energy into the ceremony where it didn’t need it and it came off as unnatural.
On several occasions, Hathaway referred to her hosting alongside with Franco as an effort by the Academy to make the show “young” and “hip,” but she was undone at nearly every turn. Bringing back 8-time host Billy Crystal to introduce a package showcasing the first Oscar telecast in 1953? Nothing screams “young” and “hip” like projecting footage of Bob Hope behind a podium for 10 minutes.
As far as the awards themselves, there weren’t too many surprises for me. I scored 18 out of 24 on my Oscar scorecard, which I think is the best I’ve done in a few years. I missed the boat on Cinematography, Best Foreign Language Film, Documentary Short, Documentary Feature, Visual Effects and Supporting Actress.
I’m kicking myself for thinking Alice in Wonderland would win Best Visual Effects and not Inception. That rotating hallway fight sequence was legendary. I guess I assumed since every last frame of Alice had be manipulated in the computer in some way that it would be film the Academy would recognize.
I also should have known better regarding Supporting Actress. I picked Helena Bonham Carter for her work in The King’s Speech even though I knew Melissa Leo had the inside track for The Fighter.
Typically, Best Supporting Actress seems to go to a Brit while the Academy saves Best Actress for an American. I mean, is there really any other reason Sandra Bullock has an Oscar? I was also certain that Leo’s unprecedented individualized campaign would torpedo her chances. Actors NEVER campaign for themselves by taking out ads in the trades. They let the studios do that on her behalf.
Proactively battling against what Leo identified as ageism in the industry, she submitted two ads to industry publications asking them to “CONSIDER… Melissa Leo.” It was an odd (if somewhat narcissistic move) that immediately turned me off to Leo as a contender.
I think that knee jerk reaction was somewhat justified when Leo went on stage to collect her Oscar from presenter Kirk Douglas. I found her feigned shock completely contrived and was amazed she was being awarded for acting, considering how badly she was hamming it up on stage. Even dropping the f-bomb felt like a calculated move to me. Cynically, I can imagine Leo thinking of ways to draw attention to herself that would guarantee prominence in post-Oscar analysis. She came off like a classless outsider trying way to hard to act genuine.
If these observations sound like sour grapes, I apologize. I caught myself at the end of the night being excessively negative about the evening on Twitter. But it looks like those criticisms have become justified in the morning light. Several reviewers are calling this year’s telecast one of the worst in recent memory. In the words of Roger Ebert, “This was the worst Oscarcast I’ve ever endured. It’s time for the Board of Governors to have a long, sad talk with itself.”
What were your take-aways from this year’s ceremony? Am I being unfairly harsh? Leave your comments below!