I think I’m starting to accept this “no punchline” thing. This is The End Game. Now you know that Jimmy and Charlie used to date, that they were engaged and that a random indiscretion (at no fault to Jimmy) appears to have torn them apart. The only scene that’s missing is the final confrontation in the ladies restroom. At this point, I think jokes are only going to slow us down. But hopefully I’ve established a mood going into the last arc of the story line.

So what else happened this weekend? Oh, it looks like the Oscars were on last night! Did you catch it?

Despite not having seen… most of the nominated films, I was really excited for this year’s Oscars. I don’t know why. And even though there weren’t a ton of surprises, I was still satisfied with the big show.

Some gut reactions:

I thought Hugh Jackman was perfectly serviceable for such an outside-the-box choice for host. He was somewhat needy, but certainly didn’t embarrass himself. That opening number brought down the house! He was working his ass off on that one.

How good was that little song and dance routine at the top of the show? I went from visions of Billy Crystal and thinking to myself “Ugh, a musical number.” to “Ha, ha! That was great! More musical numbers!”

Unfortunately, his little team-up with Beyonce at the half-way point played more like a Broadway review. What is this? The Tony’s? When he emphatically exclaimed “The musical is back!” I kind of slumped back in my seat and said “Not likely.”

I mean, the thing just went on and on! Meanwhile, performances of the Best Song nominees only get 90 seconds a piece! ACTUAL NOMINEES get the bum’s rush for this crap. Bad move.

I thought the Pineapple Express parody with Seth Rogen and James Franco was hilarious. Probably the highlight of the night (no pun). If this doesn’t tell James Franco to abandon the James Dean posturing and aggressively pursue comedy full-time, I won’t know what will.

I thought Ben Stiller’s riff on Joaquin Phoenix was stupid, disrespectful and past it’s expatriation date. Wandering around stage while the nominees for Best Cinematography were being read? C’mon, It’s not The MTV Movie Awards.

The biggest surprise of the night? Sean Penn winning Best Actor over Mickey Rourke – who I assumed was a lock. You can’t really be unhappy with the outcome, though. Penn’s a great actor and Rourke brought his career back from the dead. Everyone wins.

As far as my Oscar ballot looked at the end of the night, I was 12 for 12. I could have done a lot better, but I had two strikes against me:

I went out a limb and picked Viola Davis for Best Supporting Actress and Michael Shannon for Best Supporting Actor under the assumption that Hollywood was going to take the opportunity to promote new talent. Also, both performances were very brief in their respective films and I had this nagging feeling that if they were that good in such a limited amount of time (against acting heavyweights like Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet) they deserved to win.

Instead the awards went to Penelope Cruz and Heath Ledger, respectively — both of whom odds makers were already behind.

I don’t know what to say about Ledger’s win except I guess I lost the faith on that one. Is it really a “supporting” performance, though? He pretty much owned The Dark Knight from the minute he stepped on screen. He certainly didn’t “support” Christian Bale. He blew right past him. For the sake of argument, do you think he would have won were he still alive? Would he even have been nominated? Just questioning it, that’s all.

Because here’s the thing: The Dark Knight was the second most nominated film last night with eight. All of them except Ledger were in technical categories and they were shut out in all of them except Sound Editing.

Clearly the Oscars has no love for comic book movies. Not even those that gross $1 billion at the box office world wide. So what made Ledger’s turn as the Joker such a prominent standout? Again, I’m just spit-ballin’ here.

The Dark Knight being shut out of the technical categories was the second deficiency in my Oscar ballot. I figured if they weren’t going to be recognized for anything else, voters would acknowledge the economic achievement by handing the film trophies in the technical categories. So much for that.

For the full list of nominees and winners, you can access them here.

At any rate, we’ll be talking about the Oscar winners and losers tonight on The Triple Feature and we’ll find out how my Oscar ballot stacked up against Gordon and Joe’s. There’s a lot at stake. The two with the lowest number of correct guesses have to produce guest comics for the winner. I could be in for some extra work this week! You’ll have to tune in tonight at 9:00 PM CST to hear if I lost!

In the meantime, what did you think about last night’s show? What moments stood out for you? Were there any shocks? What was your favorite moment? What was your least favorite moment? Leave your comments below!

↓ Transcript
As soon as I heard the popcorn hit the ground, I knew Charlie had caught me red-handed.

I ran after her. Tried to explain.

She ran to the nearest place she assumed I wouldn't follow her into.